On Another Path: Volume I
by Don't Preach
Summary: Novelist Couple: Akihiko/Hiroki pairing: What happens when destinies shift, based on the utterance of a single name... The blindfold scene revised... Rated "M": if you read Junjou Romantica at all and are familiar with the blindfold scene in the canon, then you already know why.
1. Chapter One: If Only

**So while I am a HUGE egoist fan, I am also a secret Hiroki/Akihiko shipper and like many I have always wondered "What if?"**

**This story starts at the fateful blindfold seen, so if you're familiar with Junjou Romantica you understand why this story is "M" from the start.**

**As always, if you are uncomfortable with sexual situations or are not of an appropriate age, please click out and find another story.**

**So glad to be getting this story back up. Thank you all for being so patient with this re-uploading process.**

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: I do not own Junjou Romantica or any of its characters.<strong>

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><p><strong>On Another Path<strong>

**Chapter One: If Only**

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><p>Hiroki looked up from the other man's lap. He sat up and wiped the saliva from his chin. The seated man's panting breaths haunted his ears.<p>

_Does he have any idea how sexy he looks right now? How unbearably beautiful?_ _That sweat–slicked stomach, the curve of his cock protruding from his open trousers._

Hiroki crawled up the man's legs. He wanted to stroke his hair, kiss his neck, but couldn't bring himself to do so out of fear that these actions would betray the true depths of his feelings. No, he refused to make such a declaration. He had reconciled himself from the moment he'd forwarded his offer that it had to be the other's choice.

He straddled the other man's lap. He'd been preparing himself with his own fingers as he'd sucked the other off.

_Not the easiest thing to do._

He could have never brought himself to do it if it hadn't been for the blindfold: it would have been far too embarrassing otherwise. As he positioned himself over Akihiko's cock and felt the size of it as he began to lower himself, he was very glad he had.

Slowly, Hiroki pressed and inch by excruciating inch he took Akihiko into him.

Hiroki watched. Akihiko gasped the moment he felt himself becoming sheathed in the heat of his friend. Hiroki suddenly found himself wondering, shocked by the possibility, if this was Akihiko's first time?

In a way it made sense. All through their years together Akihiko had been aloof with everyone but him.

_Until high school when he met that damned Takahashi._

Now they were in college. Akihiko had told him not long ago that he had no room in his heart for anyone else but Takahiro.

_Could this really be true though? If it is, why did he agree to my proposal so easily? _What other desperation could have enticed Usami Akihiko to fuck his best, oldest, and really, only true friend?

Kamijou Hiroki's heart thundered with the possibilities as he began to move his hips, riding the exquisite length of his unrequited's cock. He chanced resting his hands on Akihiko's shoulders. Hiroki marveled at their solidity. He wondered how many times they'd been together when it was all he could do not to throw his arms around them or to grab on to them and pull Akihiko down to him.

Hiroki used his skilled muscles to work the hot turgid flesh embedded inside him as he rode Akihiko. His best friend might not have approved of some of his sexual antics, but Akihiko was certainly feeling the advantage of a partner with some experience now. Hiroki reveled in the way his love's chest was heaving. Akihiko's sensual mouth, hung slightly open, gasping at the heightened sensations assaulting him: every touch, every pulse exaggerated without the companion sense of his sight.

Hiroki wished he could see Akihiko's brilliant amethyst eyes but simultaneously he was grateful for the blindfold. His pride would never have allowed him to do this otherwise. Enabling Akihiko to see the true depths of his feelings, with the chance he might find himself looking into a gaze that remained untouched was unbearable to even contemplate.

Despite his best intentions, Hiroki could not resist. One hand moved up and caressed Akihiko's cheek, long fingers found their way into his thick silvered hair. The other hand traveled down to his broad chest. Here fingers brushed, pinched, and teased Akihiko's untried nipples. Beneath him Hiroki felt the other man buck. Akihiko moaned at these touches.

Hiroki pulled a hand away and spit into his palm. He dropped this to his own engorged cock and began stroking himself as he continued to move. He felt Akihiko start when he quickly came and his seed baptized Akihiko's tight belly. Hiroki found himself unexpectedly smiling at his unrequited's surprise.

_Did you honestly think this was only for you, Akihiko?_

As his muscles contracted with the spasms of his release, Hiroki knew that Akihiko was getting closer to his own climax. Hiroki slowed his pace, lifting his ass and plunging back down, gripping and teasing. He wanted to prolong this act for as long as possible. A smile cracked the determined line of his mouth when Akihiko bucked up into him in frustration, seeking faster friction.

Hiroki reached a hand out and smeared his cooling cum across the taut flesh of Akihiko's abdomen.

_If only it was so easy to mark him: to brand Akihiko my own._

Hiroki was fascinated to see his friend's face, usually so stoic, grimace at the power of his impending climax. When it was obvious his friend was right on the precipice, against all his best intentions, Hiroki leaned in and whispered in his unrequited's ear a single word.

"Akihiko."

In its growling tone there was a communication, however subtle of his desire, of his deep and abiding love.

As he felt the other man's body begin to shudder beneath him, breathless, Hiroki waited. He could feel Akihiko's essence pump into him. As the power of this sensation tremored Akihiko, he began to rasp out a name.

Astride him, Hiroki's heart stopped at the sounds of the smoky voice that plagued his dreams gasped, "Hiro… Hiro…"

"Hiroki."

Akihiko collapsed forward against him.

After a moment, where the skin was exposed beneath the half-open shirt he was still wearing, Hiroki was shocked to feel a new dampness on his sweat-beaded chest.

_Is it possible that Akihiko is crying?_

Hiroki responded, hesitantly but firmly gathering the other man into his arms. He felt Akihiko's own arms fold around him, gathering him in as well. As Akihiko's shoulders silently shook in his sheltered embrace, Hiroki hoped fervently this meant that his wait was finally over.

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><p><strong>Thank you for reading and reviewing.<strong>


	2. Chapter 2: Rebirth

**3/30/13**

**I know that I am all over the map with my re-posts these days and that many of you are frustrated, waiting for new chapters to these stories. I hope you will be able to bear with me a bit longer. I want to get everything back up by the end of school and then I hope to have time this summer to resume my writing in earnest.**

**Also, I know that FF is a place where many people are happy to jot something down and post it up. That is really counter to my process. Even after something has been posted, I continue to go back and revise. I hope that for those of you who are re-reading this story and my others under Cerberus Revised and Daniel Lazerus, will sense the changes I have been making and find my pieces stronger for it.**

**For those of you who are finding this piece for the first time, I hope you enjoy it. This is one of my favorite pieces personally, tied with College Daze and The Escort, which should also be going up again soon.**

**The original first chapter of this story is up now again as well. Warnings and disclaimers are contained there.**

**Don't Preach**

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><p>On Another Path<p>

Chapter Two: Rebirth

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><p>When Akihiko heard Hiroki say his name, something inside him fractured: over the frozen depths of his heart it was like winter ice cracking with the first thaw of spring.<p>

_How many times sitting in the solitude of my apartment have I imagined Takahiro invoking me, in that same breathy tone?_ And yet, hearing it come from Hiroki, his friend's low gravelly voice, Akihiko was instantly overwhelmed by the rightness of it.

Though at the time of their agreement he'd been unsure of his own motives, perhaps some unconscious awareness of this was why he'd accepted Hiroki's outlandish offer.

After all, he had long known his love for Takahiro, was an exercise in self-deception.

The poor Takahashi orphan, simple, plain and goodhearted, was the antithesis of everything he had ever known and while he had desperately wanted to believe this uncomplicated youth held the antidote for his particular familial poisoning, at the same time he had always known that Takahashi Takahiro was, and forever would be, maddeningly unattainable.

Yet, up until this point, Akihiko had been in denial about how comfortable he was in his misery. It was so much safer to be trapped in his longing for Takahiro: opening himself up to a reciprocated love meant living with the knowledge that such ethereal expressions were most often fragile and fleeting.

Akihiko knew enough of himself to realize that he had never been one to relinquish things easily and the thought of securing something so precious only to lose it later was all but unbearable. Even now, he was startled to find himself grief-stricken, weeping over the loss of something as intangible and foolish as his long-held self-delusion.

Leaning his head against Hiroki's chest, the blindfold covering his eyes had been pushed up just slightly. As his tears escaped from beneath its folded edge, Akihiko was unaware that under his shaggy silver head, with Hiroki's senses heightened as they were in this moment, each hot drop that fell from his eyes seared his friend's tender flesh.

"Not since the day I was born have I ever cried in front of another person." The silk of Akihiko's voice sounded damp but not tattered.

One of Hiroki's hands drifted up and somewhat clumsily stroked Akihiko's pale hair. He was not used to comforting people like this: tenderness was not something that his previous physical experiences had prepared him for.

"Let's just stay here a bit," Akihiko whispered.

The two friends sat together for several minutes in a new kind of silence.

Had Akihiko not called out his name, Hiroki would have never had the courage to do what he did next. He leaned back just a bit dropping his arms. He slid them from around his unrequited's shoulders and took Akihiko's still-blindfolded face in his hands. Hiroki murmured a hair's breadth from Akihiko's soft lips.

"Someone once taught me a very effective cure for crying." There was a sliver of tenderness embedded in his usually gruff voice. Hiroki gently captured Akihiko's mouth with his own. It was a kiss he'd been waiting to return since Akihiko's own lips had surprised him that day so long ago, when they were still children in their secret place of blue sky and green branches.

As he was still unsure of what Akihiko's utterance of his name truly meant, he was initially hesitant in his oral entreaty. Akihiko responded in kind and this first reunion of their lips was remarkably tender. However, Akihiko had been starving for years and this new taste of love instantly unleashed his appetite.

Within moments of their first soft exchange he began to ravish Hiroki's mouth with a shocking ferocity. The adamancy of it was overwhelming and Hiroki, despite his interminable pining, found himself inadvertently resisting, even as he felt Akihiko's still sheathed member rousing again inside him.

The power of this sensation, however, began to stir Hiroki as well, so that even as he fought against it, he found himself, too soon for his pride's liking, submitting to Akihiko's intractable will. Akihiko sought and gained full entrance to his mouth. Their tongues engaged in an entirely new type of debate from any they'd recently held and this time, for once, the prodigy of "T" University's literature department did not mind conceding.

Akihiko shifted positions without relinquishing his hold and Hiroki soon found himself lying on his back on the floor with Akihiko on top of him. His partially open shirt was roughly torn fully open as Akihiko's mouth left his and sought out new areas to conquer.

Jaw, neck, collarbones, pectorals, nipples: with the sudden realization of his true hunger, the silver-haired youth devoured each, rather than savor them. Hiroki knew, feeling his friend's fervor, that he would find his body later multiply-marked. Despite any self-consciousness Akihiko's bruising might eventually bring, however, Hiroki gave him access to his body now without reserve.

The heat, the passion, so longed for, so desperately desired, threatened to break him. Hiroki felt his own tears welling and immediately shut his eyes against the threatening flood.

It had been years since he cried in front of Akihiko.

Above him Akihiko braced himself with one hand while the other removed the blindfold. It was like being reborn: emerging from the darkness of the womb into a new world of color and light. _And what an amazing first image to encounter_. Akihiko looked down at Hiroki trembling beneath him.

How was it he had never noticed the pale perfection of Hiroki's skin, the exquisite angularity of his jaw? How many times had he seen his friend shirtless but never paid mind to the tight slender beauty of Hiroki's torso, his rose petal nipples?

They had swum and bathed together many times over the course of their shared life, still as he looked down at the aching flesh of Hiroki's new erection lying hard against his taut belly, with his new sight, Akihiko marveled at the wonderful construction of Hiroki's cock, seeing it clearly for the first time.

Enflamed by this vision he began moving his hips, sliding in and out of the incredible silky heat that encompassed him. When he looked back up at Hiroki's face, Akihiko also beheld the new tears gathered in the corners of his friend's eyes.

"Hiroki."

Dark eyes opened slowly and Hiroki was shocked to see his friend without the blindfold. He wanted immediately to turn away but the intensity of Akihiko's gaze pierced him, holding him in place.

For a moment, his truth was laid bare in his eyes.

Akihiko was shocked by the depths of it and moved in a way he'd never experienced before. It was as though Hiroki's eyes were a mirror reflecting back his own terrible vulnerability. Then, in an instant this was gone. Akihiko watched as the visor in Hiroki's armor snapped shut. His friend turned his head away, the familiar blush darkening his already flushed cheeks.

Akihiko stilled in his passion for a moment: his mind was reeling. How many years had he thought himself alone in the privilege of seeing his best friend drop his guard, lay down his shield, and be free with him, only to realize in this instant that this had been a façade, that there was another deeper armor still that Hiroki wore beneath this in his presence.

_How long has Hiroki loved me?_

Akihiko wondered what would have happened if he had said Takahiro's name. For a moment, it had sat right on the tip of his tongue.

_Would Hiroki still have continued to be my friend after that?_ Try as he might Akihiko couldn't imagine otherwise. _What could anyone call that but a pure kind of love?_

Akihiko felt doubly convicted then, thinking about all the times he had expounded on Takahiro's sacrifices to Hiroki, never once conscious of what the other had been forfeiting in the years they had remained friends. He thought of what they had just done as well. This thing that Hiroki had offered, to stand in the place of another man, one he openly disliked.

Now, Akihiko had finally solved the mystery of this previously incomprehensible aversion.

_What is that, if not sacrifice?_ In this moment of epiphany, Akihiko swept his friend's tears away with long cool fingers.

"Hiroki…"

He breathed the name again and like an infant's first gasp, it brought new air to his lungs.

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><p><strong>New AN: God, it's good to be home...<strong>

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><p><strong>OLD AN:<strong>

**Thank you everyone for the amazing feedback. It was so wonderful to get such well thought out and articulate comments right out of the gate.**

**I know I should be working on Neko Hiro, but I totally crashed and burned yesterday and am trying now to pick myself back up. I had this chapter already started, so I thought I'd finish it first. You, NH fans, you know I said I was a tease right. Anyway, hope you like this new chapter and I look forward to hearing from you.**

**Treasons, Nocturnal Otaku, DANHK- thank you for the alerts and the favorites. Hope to hear a review from you sometime.**

**Kiyo 12, Puppyfacetwo, Moonlight at Dusk, Illemmi, yaoifangirl4ever, LoserSquad, Midori tenchi90, Sfghh- Thank you for the reviews.**

**Maggie Mae from Penny Lane: This may perhaps get back to canon (without giving away a spoiler). I think you have a very astute understanding of Akihiko's complex character. I am delighted you ranted. It really helped me get into this.**

**Tuff Cookie1877-Glad you are enjoying this, though I do like it when you're articulate, I didn't think that I could ever make you squeal. As you can see I have forged on. I look forward to your comments.**

**X - you know, they say "brilliant minds think along similar paths." I do hope you will get to "The Escort" at some point. I don't think your mind is crazy at all and your review was incredibly helpful. I too had thought that perhaps Akihiko had come to if not reciprocate, at least make amends to Hiroki that day at the door. I promise to only be cruel enough to the professor to make it interesting.**

**Avery- So good to see you here. Yes, this is something I have always been curious about myself. Especially as Akihiko seems to have such an appetite. Don't worry…I am an egoist addict at heart.**

**BlackArticFox- Thank you for the thoughtful review. I hope you were pleased with Akihiko's added perspective. There will be an exploration of a romantic relationship between Akihiko and Hiroki with a few twists and turns involved. Let's hope this doesn't become one of those long unfinished fics, but with such great reviewers, I am sure you will help me along.**

**Lurker- I appreciate your honesty. Hope you will consider sticking around, but if not I completely understand. Happy reading here or elsewhere.**

**Kirakrz- I appreciated your comments on Hiroki's desperation in the first chapter, and we will see where it goes, but I rather agree with you. As always, I greatly appreciate your thoughtful consideration of the story.**


	3. Chapter 3: Moved

**On Another Path**

**Chapter Three: Moved**

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><p>When Akihiko said his name for the third time, Hiroki heard in the word a new and subtle intonation and knew in an instant that something had changed.<p>

He had seen its start in Akihiko's pale eyes when he had looked so unguardedly into his face and the possibility of it had forced him to look away. His heart had not known such hope in over a dozen years and the emotion was so powerful he honestly didn't know if he could bear it.

A moment later Akihiko became still within in him and Hiroki felt himself suddenly falling under his friend's intense scrutiny.

_I am like a page being read._

He didn't even have to look to know where Akihiko's eyes were as they traveled the surface of his body, he could feel their every movement burning into his skin.

"Move," Hiroki growled, suddenly unable to endure the quiet observation any longer.

"Eh?"

"Move, Akihiko!" More confident since his voice didn't break with the first word, Hiroki opened his eyes as he said this, but he didn't turn his head.

"If you're going to stay in me, either start moving or get off." He still couldn't look his friend in the face, however, he didn't need to see Akihiko any more in this instant than he had a moment ago to know now that the man was smiling.

"Gladly, Hiroki." The silk of Akihiko's voice was strained with desire.

Hiroki felt himself being pushed into deeply. Akihiko's momentary stupor had evaporated and he began moving with a renewed vigor; the rapid thrusts brought pain, but Hiroki was grateful for the distraction.

"Nuuungh… Akihiko, slow down, idiot!" Hiroki gasped and his eyes closed once more against the harsh sensation.

The young author looked down at the beautiful man lying beneath him; he saw the fresh tears gathered in the corners of Hiroki's eyes. Akihiko frowned as he suddenly realized he must have brought his friend terrible pain with his earlier ignorance of Hiroki's feelings for him, and now that he understood this, he only wanted to bring him pleasure. Knowing this, Akihiko did not want Hiroki to suffer from his other ignorance too.

He was, as Hiroki had wondered, almost completely untried.

His father had taken him to an exclusive brothel at the age of fourteen as an introduction to manhood, supposedly. Already long aware of his inclinations, Akihiko had chosen a slight, boyish looking girl who didn't appear to be much older than he. She had the look of an innocent, so he had hoped to escape the ordeal. Her innocence, however, only lasted, until her chamber door was closed.

That was when Akihiko stopped speaking to his father completely.

After that he had lived an almost monastic life. Though, he had told himself it was because he didn't want to sully his love for Takahiro, Akihiko also knew it was another way he proved to himself his superiority over his father. After all, if the man had been able to control his baser urges, he would have never been stuck with that loathsome half-brother of his, and who knew how many other Usami bastards were scattered over the countryside of Japan.

"Tell me what to do here, Hiroki. I'm a little new at this." Akihiko whispered but his voice didn't hold the slightest trace of embarrassment.

"Yeah, I can tell," came Hiroki's gravelly retort and with that comment his deep red-brown eyes looked at Akihiko for the first time since his unspoken confession. The corner of Akihiko's mouth quirked up and there was mirth in his lavender gaze.

"Okay, professor, so school me," he challenged. Akihiko watched an enchanting blush fill his friend's cheeks. He wanted to laugh when Hiroki's brow furrowed but held back, recognizing that for Hiroki, this momentary lightness was only a fragile skin over a deep pool of shadow.

Akihiko felt lean muscular calves lock around his low back, holding him in.

"Slower and shorter strokes," Hiroki grumbled and turned his head once more to the side.

"Like this?" Akihiko began to move again and was almost instantly rewarded: this new action triggered a place of pleasure and a sharp gasp escaped Hiroki. Akihiko couldn't ever recall hearing a more lovely sound.

His poetic soul was quickly mesmerized by the vision of the man responding beneath him. He saw Hiroki's tender Adam's apple made prominent when the length of his neck was pulled taut as his head returned to center and tipped back, the graceful cage of his ribs as his torso arched. Akihiko watched with fascination each ripple of Hiroki's panting belly.

He suddenly wondered how many other men had been privy to this exquisite sight and of those how many had truly appreciated it. There was no way for him to know that Hiroki rarely allowed anyone to take him face to face. When his penetrators were behind him, it was been so much easier for Hiroki to imagine they were Akihiko. What the pale-haired youth did know, however, with no uncertainty, was that he did not want this vision of Hiroki offered to anyone else ever again.

The pace of Hiroki's rasping breaths was increasing.

"Aaah… Akihiko."

Akihiko wanted to hear his name said that way a thousand times before morning.

"Unnnh… Akihiko, I want to come." There was a certain pleading in Hiroki's voice that Akihiko had never heard before; it stirred him in incomprehensible ways. He leaned his damp head down and breathed in his new love's ear.

"Then come for me, Hiroki."

Akihiko watched as Hiroki reach down and grabbed his erect cock. As he kept his pace and Hiroki stroked himself, the young author stayed low over the other. He kissed Hiroki's throat and then moved up placing his mouth over his friend's, wanting to catch and consume each ecstatic moan. Within moments Akihiko could feel Hiroki's cock jerking beneath them and the warm sticky spread of seed as both of their bellies were slicked with Hiroki's cum. Akihiko felt his friend tighten around him as Hiroki climaxed; this sensation added to the tension in his low belly and he knew his own release was eminent.

Akihiko started to raise himself to pull out, but suddenly felt himself held in place as Hiroki tightened his legs around his hips once again and wrapped slender but strong arms around his neck. Akihiko's eyes widened when Hiroki's gaze met his once more: there was a certain fierceness in it this time in it that surprised him.

"Inside… again…"

Hiroki's rough rasps were cut off as Akihiko's mouth recaptured his. Then moments after he broke the kiss, Akihiko dropped his shaggy head over Hiroki's shoulder and with a shuddering cry, came himself. After this the two of them lay there for a few minutes together, panting from the power of their orgasms. Hiroki slowly unwound his limbs from Akihiko's lanky frame. As Akihiko pulled out, Hiroki rolled over onto his side facing away from him; he wrapped his ruined shirt around his bare torso and curled into himself.

Akihiko sat up, tucked himself back into his pants with a wince, and fastened them. He drew an almost empty pack of cigarettes from his pocket, pulled out one of the few remaining fags and lit it. He took a deep drag and looked at Hiroki's lithe form lying beside him. He could see where his cum had escaped and run down the back of Hiroki's lean muscular thighs. Akihiko slid in closer; he reached over and gently swept a sweaty stray strand of light brown hair behind Hiroki's ear.

Hiroki's eyes were open and staring off into the distance. When Akihiko touched him, Hiroki started; his eyes closed and he pulled away without moving much. Akihiko sighed and stubbed out his barely started smoke. He knew it was foolish of himself to think that one moment would strip Hiroki of his armor when he had no idea how long this particular suit had been being assembled.

_No,_ Akihiko realized immediately. _Now I have seen it, I am going to have to relieve Hiroki of it gently, pulling it off gradually piece by piece._

Akihiko lay down and stretched himself out behind Hiroki. He tucked one arm under his head and wrapped the other around his friend's chest. He drew his legs up beneath the other youth's and pulled Hiroki's body into his. Akihiko felt Hiroki stiffen even as he did this, but Hiroki made no sound. Akihiko kissed his oldest friend's salty neck and leaned his shaggy head over a stony shoulder; his lips brushed the outer edge of the other's ear.

"I love you, Hiroki."

At these words Akihiko felt the body he held collapse into his as Hiroki softly started to sob.

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><p><strong>NEW AN:<strong>

**TBF 101- you have no idea how happy your review made me, especially on a day I was feeling unwell. So glad we're in accord on this pairing.**

**Pont. Ballon- Thank you for the warm homecoming. Hope to hear from you more as the story goes back up.**

**Ashley T- Thank you, I blush at your praise. But I am delighted to keep you fangirls (and boys) happy. Just please don't die anytime soon. Okay? I am excited to hear your thoughts on this piece.**

**Thank you all for reading and your alerts and favorites.**

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><p><strong>OLD AN:<strong>

**Peilikuva, Serene saber, PrincessFuFU, Treasons –** Thanks for the favorites and alerts, I hope that you will consider dropping a review sometime.

**Nadiwa Yagari**- glad you're liking the story, hope you enjoyed the new chapter.

**Ikuikumaki-** Thank you so much for the review. Well, I will let them be together for now. Hope you like it and will review again.

**Maggie Mae from Penny Lane-** I don't think you over think things. I love how thoughtful you are and the insights your comments bring me as I am writing. Your comments will be addressed in an upcoming chapter.

**Avery-** thank you for the support and so good to have you with me on another fic. Glad you like the Akihiko/Hiroki pairing 'cause their going to be together for a while, I have a feeling.

**Egoist fangirl-** I am so glad you saw the Takahiro situation for what it was. Wonderful feedback per usual. I have to say, what an amazing comment that you had, that response to the last chapter. I have to say… I have the same feeling when I write them. I love my egoist but this pairing has some powerful mojo.

**BlackArcticFox**- I know I am a dork, but what does OTP mean? Anyway, thank you for the great feedback. I am glad you're enjoying the angst. Akihiko is a hard person to get into. I had a really hard time as I tend not to like him much, until another reader pointed out that at the time this story picks up, this is the Akihiko who loved Hiroki… not the Akihiko who missed out. I think if he had gotten with the professor, he definitely would have been a different (and I believe better) man.

**Midoritenchi90**- so glad it feels like a real story to you! (Me too)

**Puppyfacetwo**- we'll have to see how things unfold.

**Kiyo12-**glad you like it… me too!

**TuffCookie1877-** I hope to hear from you soon and I hope this chapter meets with your approval as much as the previous one.

**(X)-** Did you review this chapter? Sorry if you did and I missed you, my amazing reviewer, I must have misplaced it because it wasn't in my folder for this story.


	4. Chapter 4: Turning Round

**On Another Path**

**Chapter Four: Turning Round**

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><p>Wrapped in the dim light of Akihiko's study the two men rested together. Hiroki had stopped weeping some time ago but had still not turned back to face his friend.<p>

They had both been lightly sleeping, each exhausted from their various exertions, when Akihiko was roused. He suddenly felt Hiroki's body start and stiffen again in his arms. Akihiko gathered his new lover in tighter and kissed the brunet nape before him. He hung his head over Hiroki's shoulder and nuzzled in behind his ear, then Akihiko stilled himself and waited.

Hiroki awkwardly pulled himself up, out of Akihiko's embrace. For a moment he remained half-sitting, both he and Akihiko remained silent. Then Hiroki gathered his knees to his chest; he bowed his head, and crossed his arms over it.

"I have to go," Hiroki mumbled beneath the shelter of his limbs.

Akihiko sighed and stretched, preparing to rise. As he stood up, he picked up the crumpled blindfold lying beside him. His long fingers gently worried the silken fabric: his discarded shroud. Looking down on his friend now, he longed to take hold of the man again but Hiroki looked so fragile in that instant, Akihiko feared that even his slightest touch might shatter him, so instead, he made his way to the door.

Hearing his movements, Hiroki slowly lowered his arms, lifted his head, and turned. He watched Akihiko prepare to leave the room. It seemed safe since Akihiko had his back to him now. Hiroki's heart stopped and his breathing faltered as he took in this vision: the young author's bare broad muscular shoulders, the slender waist and long legs set off by the now severely wrinkled, tailored black slacks that his friend currently favored. The blindfold dangled limply from Akihiko's right hand. A wave of vertigo washed over Hiroki and he was filled with a sudden and dreadful sense of déjà vu.

He watched as Akihiko gently draped the blindfold over the knob of his study door. With this simple gesture the terrible spell that had gripped him was broken.

Akihiko paused in the threshold.

"I'm going to take a shower." His silver head turned back towards Hiroki. He flashed a slightly crooked smile and cocked an eyebrow.

"Join me?"

At these words Hiroki released a long-held exhalation. His heart resumed its motion though its beat felt slightly erratic. Akihiko turned away again and drifted languidly down the hall.

In the pattern that had been set by countless years of longing, Hiroki erected himself a moment later and silently followed.

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><p>Akihiko was already under the spray by the time Hiroki reached the bath. Though they showered together, each man washed himself separately. Akihiko noticed that when Hiroki entered, he still chose to keep his back to him. Reading the slight hunch of the man's shoulders, though Hiroki's withdrawal chafed him, Akihiko knew better than to be impatient. He understood implicitly that his friend would turn back to him when he was ready.<p>

Still, beholding Hiroki from behind, noting his wild mane weighted flat and so wetly dark, the rounded knob at the base of Hiroki's neck accentuated by his lowered head, the glistening drops of water rolling down the lovely curve of his spine, connecting further down with swell of his ass, Akihiko felt himself stirring again.

Hiroki had been scrubbing Akihiko's essence from the inside of his thighs when he suddenly felt his unrequited's body press against him. Akihiko's large hands, strangely heated by the shower, wrapped around his chest. Soapy nipples slid between slick fingers. Hiroki raised his hands and pressed his palms against the shower wall. Akihiko's new arousal nudged him; he felt dripping lips at his ear's edge and then, that amazing voice.

"Hiroki."

"No, Akihiko… I have to go…" but even as he growled this, Hiroki's hips slid to the side and a lathered hand reached back to grasp Akihiko's shaft. One of Akihiko's hands simultaneously slipped down.

"It feels more to me like you need to come."

Their joined gasps were hidden beneath steam and spray as their hands stroked in tandem. Hiroki came first, his knees all but buckled by the jolt. Akihiko's strong arm held him up. Despite this momentary weakness, Hiroki's hand did not lose its rhythm. After a few more minutes, Akihiko collapsed against him, pressing him into the tiled wall as his own shuddering climax overtook him. The two stood there, their slick sides heaving together, then Hiroki pushed back.

Akihiko stepped back releasing Hiroki and watched as Hiroki returned almost immediately to continuing his ablutions. Finished with his own after another quick rinse, Akihiko stepped out, leaving his friend alone.

When Hiroki finally exited the bath he saw Akihiko sitting on the couch: his torso leaned back against the cushions, his long legs stretched out and resting on the coffee table. Still clad only in his towel, Akihiko was smoking, exhaling perfect rings with practiced ease. Hiroki had long thought it was a rare movement of the youngest Usami that did not seem somehow poetic and this picture only reinforced his conviction.

Akihiko was similarly studying his friend through the smoke. One of Hiroki's finely boned hands clutched the towel at his waist as he moved back into the study. Hiroki emerged a moment later, fastening the dark dress slacks he had been wearing before their encounter though his torso remained bare. The towel he'd worn was now draped around his long neck, over his slighter but still broad shoulders. Akihiko was pleased to see where the patterns of his mouth still lingered on Hiroki's skin.

"I need to borrow a shirt," Hiroki called as he headed from the study into the bedroom. Akihiko dropped his legs and pushed up from the couch. He ambled over and stood in the doorway watching as Hiroki sifted through piles looking for a clean shirt. Hiroki unwound the damp towel from his neck and threw it him; he caught it easily.

"Honestly, Akihiko, if you're not going to keep up after yourself you should at least hire someone to do it." Hiroki muttered as he continued to search. Akihiko snorted, dropping the towel on the already littered floor.

"As if your place is any better." Akihiko was delighted when Hiroki met his eyes with a scowl and an indignant retort.

"At my apartment the only real mess is my books!" Hiroki held a shirt out for approval. Akihiko nodded as he exhaled another ring.

"You're going to drown in that shirt, Old Man," Akihiko intoned using the rare English affection. He watched Hiroki turn away from him again, as he pulled the shirt on and began to roll up the overlong sleeves.

"I am not that much smaller than you, Akihiko!" Hiroki's cheeks pinked as he growled this.

"Anyways, thanks to your enthusiasm, the shirt I was wearing is now missing about half its buttons and I don't fancy traveling half-naked across Tokyo to get home."

"Then don't." Akihiko stepped up behind him. Hiroki paused in his actions and turned back around to face Akihiko with a frown of quizzical apprehension.

"Don't go, Hiroki. Stay here with me tonight." There was an anxious note of promise in Akihiko's voice.

"I can't, I have an outline due tomorrow and all my books are at my apartment." Hiroki dropped his eyes as he said this and began fumbling with the shirt's buttons. Akihiko moved in closer and covered Hiroki's hands with one of his own.

"Then I'll drive you to your apartment and you can get them and we'll come back here."

Hiroki glanced up for just a moment. Though Akihiko's face was still, there was a chaos of feeling barely contained within his pale eyes. Hiroki understood immediately what it was that he saw. Despite all that had happened, Hiroki still felt unsure of what exactly it was Akihiko was offering him, but he realized that in their time together that afternoon the shell of the other youth's isolation had been split and Akihiko had no desire to return to his chrysalis of solitude.

He, however, needed solitude now: he had to think.

"No, Akihiko, that will take too much time, I'm going to have to pull an all-nighter as it is now.

"Besides," Hiroki stepped forward and out from under Akihiko's hand. "You have your own paper to write and a book to finish. Correct?" He slid past his friend, moving into the hall. Akihiko said nothing as he followed Hiroki out into the other room. He went over to the butt-filled ashtray on his coffee table and stubbed out his cigarette. After doing this he joined his friend in the entry way. Here, Hiroki was seated on the floor, his forehead furrowed, in the process of putting on his shoes.

Hiroki stood, grabbed his sport coat off the hook near the door and started pulling it on. He stopped halfway through, however, and reached out a hesitant hand and grazed Akihiko's cheek.

"Look, I'll call you later and maybe we can get together after classes tomorrow..._ If_ your book is finished," Hiroki qualified. He didn't really want to leave, but he knew that he must. It was too dangerous for him to stay here at the moment. Akihiko said nothing, then he nodded slowly.

"Okay…"

Hiroki was glad they had reached an agreement. He looked down as he resumed donning his coat only to be surprised by the feel of a cool hand suddenly lifting his chin. Akihiko moved in as he tipped Hiroki's face up. He leaned in and captured Hiroki's mouth with a kiss that was both tender and desperate.

"Tomorrow then," Akihiko whispered as he released his friend.

"Yeah, tomorrow," Hiroki mumbled, blushing anew as he reached for his book-weighted bag. He opened the door and stepped out of the apartment. His last vision of Akihiko was of him standing sober-faced in the door frame.

Hiroki turned and headed down the hall. Behind him he heard the door close; the latch, as it caught, whispered like a ghost.

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><p><strong>Thank you for reading and please review.<strong>


	5. Chapter 5: The Fix

**On Another Path**

**Chapter Five: The Fix**

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><p>Hiroki left Akihiko's in a daze. Moving through the city on his way back to his own apartment, he was aware of nothing outside himself. Myriad thoughts swarmed his mind like a disturbed wasps' nest; the primary question that occupied him, however, was:<p>

W_hat exactly had just happened_?

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><p>It started out like every other day in his life for the last several years: after almost rousing several times he had been pulled into consciousness that morning and was able to spend exactly two minutes fully awake, before his chest began to fill with the irreconcilable and ever-present ache that was called Akihiko. His longing exacerbated by the fact that his unrequited had asked him to look over, with the exception of the last two chapters, the manuscript for his premiere novel.<p>

Hiroki had been reading Akihiko's writing since they were children. Growing up relishing words as he did, he had literally lived for his friend's stories. He had come to love Akihiko's words as much as he loved the man. In fact, in many ways, Hiroki felt they were one and the same. From the first time he'd held one of the notebooks that contained Akihiko's writings, Hiroki had the sensation of witnessing some marvel of transubstantiation: Akihiko's flesh turned into a page, the words were the veins that carried the blood and the pulse of him.

He was still in bed when the call had come in on his cell. He heard Akihiko's smoky tones say the four words that he had come to both loath and crave.

_Hiroki I need you_.

Hiroki's hands had started to shake instantly at the sound: it was a palsy of want. He knew he was an addict, Akihiko his drug. The aspiring young author had unknowingly just offered him a fix.

Hiroki had never entertained any doubt that Akihiko would become a literary success. Believing this, he was pleased to be able to encourage Akihiko's writing at every opportunity. He was immensely satisfied when, despite the senior Usami's disapproval, as soon as his friend had been set free from _The_ _Usami Mausoleum_, as they called the family mansion, Akihiko had begun seeking publication in earnest.

Though Hiroki was intimate with everything Akihiko had written, the sudden transformation in the man's work once he left home astounded him. In the last two years while at the University, Akihiko had several shorter pieces published in elite anthologies and these had already begun to receive critical acclaim. Then at the start of his junior year, the law student had been approached by Marukawa Publishing and offered a contract to write his first novel.

The novel, which Hiroki had just finished, was breathtaking. The prose was doubly weighted: sharp as a blade and deep as a wound, the reader left clearly feeling the bite of both. Hiroki was sure that such a book would catapult Akihiko into the literary world and quite possibly into the stars. The completed work was due in two days and Akihiko had said that he had the last two chapters finished now, but was unsatisfied with them. He wanted Hiroki to read them and offer his opinion.

Though Hiroki had already planned his day and his schedule was tight, with several academic projects rapidly coming due, the moment the call came everything else fell to the wayside. He had already been in the most exquisite in agony awaiting the novel's ending and so he had barely taken the time to properly dress before bolting from his apartment to go to Akihiko.

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><p>When Hiroki arrived at his friend's he was concerned but not shocked by Akihiko's appearance. The youngest Usami never struggled with his coursework and, despite the degree of difficulty of his assignments, hardly seemed phased by any of it. His "real" writing, however, was another matter entirely and today, Akihiko was visibly leaner than usual, his skin pale, and his clothes reeked of too many cigarettes.<p>

"You look like shit, Akihiko! When was the last time you ate?" Hiroki greeted upon entering his friend's apartment. Akihiko ran his long fingers through shaggy hair and offered a wan smile.

"I don't know… maybe two days ago."

"God, you're impossible!" Hiroki held out the bag with the breakfast he'd had enough sense to purchase on his way over. "How many times have I told you to take care of yourself? How can you expect to think clearly otherwise?"

"Thank you, mother Kamijou." Akihiko took the food with a bow, but there was gratitude in his voice despite the tease.

Hiroki said nothing as he kicked out of his shoes and hung up his coat. He had been in such a hurry he hadn't bothered with laces or even socks. As he slipped into the slippers that Akihiko kept for him in the entryway, Hiroki was relieved that Akihiko hadn't noticed; he was too preoccupied with the enticing aromas emanating from the bag.

"Do you at least have tea?" Hiroki moved into the large but chaotic kitchen. He stopped short, seeing the wreckage of spilled fluid and shattered glass on the counter.

"I didn't want to leave knowing you were on your way, so I tried to make coffee a few minutes ago," Akihiko offered as an explanation, accompanied by a shrug before he began pulling plates down from a cupboard. "There's something wrong with my glasses though, I think."

"Which ones did you use?"

Hiroki pulled the overflowing bin out from under the sink and shook his head. He went rummaging for a new liner after pulling the other out and tying it off. He then began sweeping the ruin on the counter into it.

"These…" Akihiko innocently held one out. Hiroki set the bin down and took the mug, turning it over and looking at the bottom. He scowled at Akihiko.

"How one person can be simultaneously so smart and so senseless is beyond me!" He held the mug so that Akihiko could see its bottom.

"These are not heat resistant. No wonder they shattered! You're lucky you didn't cut yourself to ribbons."

Akihiko's face didn't alter but the expression in his eyes did. Hiroki saw this and rolled his own.

"Okay, let's see."

Akihiko offered one of his large hands. Hiroki was hard pressed to keep his from trembling as he took the other youth's fingers and carefully inspected them. Akihiko had several cuts marring their slender perfection.

"You'll live."

Hiroki added, consciously minimizing the concern in his tone, "though you should wrap that one." He indicated a single cut on Akihiko's index finger that looked quite deep and was still weeping a bit. Hiroki longed to salve it with his mouth. Instead, however, he arranged a careful mask of annoyance on his features and pushed Akihiko's hand back to him.

"Go!"

Hiroki waved his hand at his friend, exasperated that he had already used too many of that day's precious words on something as banal as breakfast and broken glass. Akihiko had known Hiroki long enough to understand immediately. Though he did not look in the least repentant, he picked up the takeout bag and the plates and moved silently into the other room.

Hiroki joined him shortly after having cleaned the counter, taken the trash out, and made fresh coffee for Akihiko and tea for himself.

"Thank you, Hiroki."

Akihiko's voice was sincere as accepted the heat resistant mug. Hiroki sat down silently and received the container of rice Akihiko offered in return. Akihiko then handed his friend the new pages. Hiroki set them to the side, despite his desperation to read them, and dished up his plate. He watched Akihiko with surreptitious desire as his friend opened his laptop and began to simultaneously eat and type at the same time.

Hiroki reached over and started to push the screen down.

"What the hell, Hiroki?" Akihiko looked at him, his brow rising.

"Eat first, then work."

"I have a paper due tomorrow I haven't half-started," Akihiko growled, leaning back in his seat and crossing his arms. Then he sighed, as despite his rising blush, Hiroki's dark eyes held him.

"Fine."

There was a very mild tone of petulance in Akihiko's voice as he saved his work and shut his computer. This pleased Hiroki. He liked being reminded that for all the worldliness Akihiko's life had exposed him to, in many ways the young man was still very much like a child. Hiroki worried sometimes that Akihiko might lose this, because as much as it regularly irritated him, it was also an inextricable part of the writer's gift.

Akihiko began eating and Hiroki watched the marvelous transformation as he began to visibly slow down and relish the simple meal. Hiroki knew that they had achieved breakthrough when Akihiko picked up some of the rolled, sliced omelet with his chopstick and began minutely examining it.

"These eggs are so yellow... you can even feel the color," Akihiko observed. "They're lovely."

Hiroki sat back a bit in his seat and began to visibly relax for the first time since entering the apartment. This was perhaps one of his favorite facets of Akihiko to witness, that observational acuity that enabled him to view the world so uniquely and then transcribe it so beautifully into his prose.

"It's probably just food coloring," Hiroki grumbled.

Akihiko glanced over at his irascible cohort. "Nevertheless," he said dreamily, giving the golden eggs once last look before sliding them into his mouth.

Hiroki looked away, studying his tea. Watching that morsel slip between his friend's sensual lips had started to stir him. He picked at his meal, his earlier hunger dissipated as one appetite overwhelmed the other.

The two friends continued to eat in silence. When they were done Hiroki went into the kitchen to wash the plates and ended up gathering and washing a number of other dishes that had been left on the counter. As he stood at the sink Hiroki felt the cool graze of pale eyes and looked up. Akihiko was leaning in the door frame smoking a cigarette.

"You need to hire someone, Akihiko."

"Having hired help isn't average." Akihiko murmured around his cigarette

At the word "average" Hiroki bristled, he was entirely too well versed on what "average," meant to Akihiko and _who_. He pulled the plug out of the sink and wiped his hands, aware that there were several bowls that still needed scrubbing. Regardless, however, with that comment, he was done.

He stalked back into the other room and picked up the new pages.

"Being in college and having an apartment like this, ranking at the top of your law class, having a publishing contract at twenty-two, Akihiko, none of those things are average either.

"You need to reconcile yourself to the fact that no matter how much you want it, some things will just never be!" Hiroki fumed as Akihiko drifted after him.

Hiroki heard the keen bitter edge in his words and suddenly wondered whom his reprimand was actually for. His eyes widened when he looked up and saw the hurt in Akihiko's eyes. Akihiko said nothing; he just picked up his laptop and headed off towards his study. He was well into the hall when he turned back and looked at Hiroki. His expression belied nothing more of the insult he'd just endured.

"Come on, Hiroki; you can read in my office. It's actually the cleanest room in the flat at the moment."

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><p>Hiroki was sitting cross-legged in a deep chair in Akihiko's study. His bare feet were tucked underneath him; his slippers had fallen off and were resting, one lying atop the other on the floor. He shifted as he read the last sentence. Prior to that, outside the occasional flip of the page, the literature student had been as still as a stone. Hiroki looked over at Akihiko, his brow furrowed. Akihiko was working at his desk with his back to him.<p>

From where he was sitting, Hiroki watched Akihiko's long fingers fly over the keyboard. He noted with a small smile, the Band-Aid the man had wrapped around his cut finger. His eyes drifted across the broad expanse of Akihiko's shoulders. He marveled at the way the light coming in from the study window gave a metallic sheen to his friend's light hair. Hiroki longed to run his fingers through Akihiko's thick, shaggy mane. His chest ached so painfully from the weight of his love, that at that instant, it hurt to breathe.

Hiroki slid his legs off the chair and stretched his stiff back, he was rewarded by the sound and the feel of several small cracks as his spine slipped with these motions. Akihiko heard his friend stir and turned around to face him.

"Have you shown this ending to your editor yet?" Hiroki rustled the pages. He had dropped his eyes as soon as Akihiko had started to move, lest his friend catch his gaze unguarded.

Akihiko nodded, his face grave.

"I showed them to her but I told her I was still refining." Akihiko watched as Hiroki's brow furrowed further with thought. Hiroki looked up at him now with an expression of curiosity.

"And she actually read it?"

"Ummmm." Akihiko nodded again. "She sat right there," he indicated the chair his friend had just been sitting in, "and went over it yesterday."

"And what did she say?" Hiroki's voice was gravelly with interest.

"She said it was fine," Akihiko sighed. "Though I think she was more excited by the fact that the book would be done on time than its contents.

"I've heard that some editors have a problem with their authors in this regard. Or at least, I got a lecture about it when I signed the contract." The law student leaned back and picked his pack of cigarettes up off the desk and started to pull one out, even though there was one still only half smoked in his ashtray.

Hiroki knew this was a visible sign of unease, though Akihiko's face remained impassive. He regarded his friend seriously and then pulled a deep breath.

"First thing, you have to rewrite it. It's crap!

"Second, once the novel takes off you need to demand that they give you a new editor… Someone who will hold you accountable and not blow smoke up your ass because they want to make a deadline." Hiroki sat back down and waited to see how Akihiko would respond. He was a little disconcerted at first as his friend's countenance visibly darkened.

Then Akihiko looked down for a moment. He massaged his brow with one large hand and then with the other set the cigarette and the pack on his desk. When he looked up his eyes glowed with relief.

"You're right, Hiroki." Akihiko breathed another sigh, this one of gratitude. "It is crap. That's why I called you."

Hiroki shook his head as he handed the pages back.

"What happened Akihiko?" Not only had the ending failed, but even the cadence of the text was wrong.

"What do you mean?" A puzzled expression filled Akihiko's eyes.

"Well something's obviously upset you…"

Though Hiroki had a suspicion, he didn't want to voice it. This was not the first time something like this had occurred.

"There's a distinct shift in energy that has thrown everything off," he offered vaguely, leaving plenty of room for his friend to maneuver, if Akihiko decided he wanted to disclose. Not that Hiroki really wanted to hear it, if it was what he suspected.

"Well…"

Akihiko's face shifted only slightly, but his eyes took on a distinct shade of sorrow. "I talked to Takahiro a few days ago." he was always hesitant to bring up the subject to Hiroki as the topic tended to aggravate his friend for some reason.

"He has a new girlfriend," Akihiko offered lamely, knowing that this was hardly an adequate explanation. "I don't know what happened, everything was going so well but for some reason after he told me that, the words just seemed to stop."

Takahashi Takahiro, Akihiko's own unrequited had been the bane of Hiroki's existence since his best friend had met the other boy at the age of fifteen. Hiroki cursed himself for his weakness as the usual wave of jealously welled within him, crashing against his already aching heart. His face remained unmoved, however. Hiroki stretched and stood up facing his friend.

"Sounds to me like you need a new muse," he said sourly, rising again. He had no desire to sit and listen to Akihiko pine.

Akihiko's eyes narrowed and he immediately regretted saying anything about Takahiro.

"I don't want a new muse," he said, flatly, but there was a hard edge to voice.

Hiroki heard it and knew he should leave well enough alone, but the fact that Akihiko had given Takahiro the power to affect his writing heated his blood and made him uncharacteristically bold.

"Well then maybe you just need to get laid."

Akihiko's expressive violet gaze flashed first with shock and then distaste.

"What is it with you?" Akihiko shook his silver head. "I swear sometimes, Hiroki, that sex is your answer to everything."

This response only stirred Hiroki more_. _

_Where in the hell do you get off judging my behavior, especially considering the fact that you're the very reason that I resort to acting out as I do?_

Hiroki swallowed his rising rage and said coolly, "I have found a certain therapeutic value in it at times." He looked intently at Akihiko and saw a sudden shift in the other man's expression. Hiroki realized that his response had unnerved his friend: for one of the few times in his life, Akihiko was off balance. Rather than back down as he normally would, seeing his unrequited's sudden vulnerability, Hiroki pressed forward. He stepped closer to Akihiko.

"Sometimes a physical experience can help clear the mind." There was a sensual tone of invitation in his voice that surprised even himself. His eyes held Akihiko's and for once it was Akihiko who looked away first.

Following Akihiko's gaze to the surprisingly, only slightly, cluttered surface of the desk, Hiroki moved over and his long fingers plucked at a long silken scarf that lay crumpled in one corner.

"Where did this come from?"

The moment the silk met his fingers a desperate plan suddenly formed in his mind. _Maybe I can seduce Akihiko. Maybe if, just once, Akihiko feels the weight of my flesh, it would be enough to shift him._

Akihiko was disconcerted by the sudden change in his friend. It took him a moment to figure out what Hiroki was asking. When he realized he answered.

"What? Oh my editor left that behind when she visited." The law student raised his eyes. "Look, Hiroki, I don't need therapy."

"No…" Hiroki pensively pulled the long sash through his hands before turning his dark eyes back to his unrequited.

"What you need, Akihiko, is release."

Hiroki looked down suddenly embarrassed by his boldness, but a chink had been made in the dam of his withheld emotions and he could feel it cracking around this unexpected breach.

"What would happen," Hiroki whispered, "if you could have him? Just once?"

At this question Akihiko became agitated: his own reserved manner was fearfully being tried. Akihiko's frustration carried an angry edge.

"Now you sound like the one who needs therapy, because you're talking crazy, Hiroki."

"Am I?" Hiroki's voice was soft. He stepped closer, placing himself just inside Akihiko's splayed legs. He draped the scarf around the back of Akihiko's neck and used it to pull the man forward just a bit. Hiroki's heart was pounding in his chest but his hands felt curiously steady as he realized he fully intended to do this.

He might have lost Akihiko's heart to Takahiro, but he was not about to lose his words to him as well.

"Fuck me, Akihiko." It was not a request; it was a challenge.

Seeing the conflict in his unrequited's eyes, Hiroki almost faltered but his ego wouldn't let him back down now, he knew he was so much more worthy of Akihiko's love than Takahiro, he just had to prove it somehow.

"Let me blindfold you and you fuck me," Hiroki growled stepping in closer between Akihiko's thighs.

The silk whispered as he slid it from around his friend's neck. He held the sash up in front of Akihiko's blinking lavender eyes. As he brought it close to Akihiko's face, Akihiko reached up and grabbed his wrists, stopping the blindfold's advance, but Hiroki could feel that this wasn't true resistance. His intuition was confirmed when he pressed against them and Akihiko's hands almost immediately released and slowly dropped to his sides.

"Pretend I'm Takahiro," Hiroki soothed, as Akihiko tensed when he wrapped the fabric over his love's eyes.

"What harm can it do? It may be the only way you ever get to have him, Akihiko." Hiroki hated himself for saying this, but if it would get Akihiko to accept him, he was willing to take on the persona even if only momentarily, believing that once they started, his unrequited love would be able to feel him and his truth instead.

With the blindfold secured, Hiroki pulled Akihiko to his feet.

Akihiko said nothing; he just stood there passively as Hiroki unbuttoned his shirt and slid it off of his broad shoulders. Hiroki moved and Akihiko followed his lead blindly as he was settled down to the floor. Long fingers, with practiced motion began to undo Akihiko's trousers. A thrill coursed through Hiroki when he felt that Akihiko was already hard.

He leaned in and breathed into Akihiko's ear.

"Trust me."

Akihiko gasped the moment he felt Hiroki's hand on the bare flesh of his cock.

Looking at his love in that moment, safe from Akihiko's sight, Hiroki smiled grimly.

_If nothing else, maybe if I can have you, even just this once, even if I can't purge you of Takahiro, maybe this might be enough to get you out of __my__ system_.

Hiroki was aware even as he thought this, he didn't believe it at all.

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><p>Hiroki paused in his recollection of the day's events and looked up. Unsure of how he'd even gotten there, he was surprised to find himself in the park near his apartment complex. As the realization of what it was he had done that day, finally, truly, sunk in, a sudden wave of new emotion rocked him and his legs felt as though they might give way.<p>

Blinking through an unexpected sheen of tears, Hiroki looked over and saw an empty bench. Gratefully, he staggered over to it and collapsed.

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><p><strong>NEW AN:<br>**

**The Yaoiverse of Lemon Pie, Barrettachante, Sairakanzaki, Ashley Tangerine, - thank you all for your reviews!**

**TBF101- Happy to give you a second serving, my dear. Great to be able to put you in my AN's twice for this chapter. That's what I call a faithful uke!**

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><p><strong>OLD AN:<br>**

**TobyBear, Puzzle Neko, Kechi Twilit,** Thank you for the Alerts/favoriting. Hope you will consider dropping a review some time. Even a single line is appreciated.

**Midnight Reader**- thank you for the amazing review. I wrote this chapter to show what I think might have motived Hiroki to make the move that he did. I also think it's important to keep in mind this is an earlier Hiroki and Akihiko. Hiroki had more confidence at this point because his "egoistical innocence" had not been shattered by the failed attempt to seduce Akihiko. And this Akihiko is not the same one as the man who six years later, because he lost Hiroki to Nowaki sought Misaki as he did. It is hard to wrap one's head around. Writing this story is challenging me on all kinds of levels I had never imagined in terms of how I view and feel about the characters.

**Maggie Mae**- I think your observations are very perceptive. Hiroki is going to have to figure out a whole new mode of conduct and your assertion that what Akihiko feels is a desire to avoid the loneliness that has haunted him rather than really love at this point is an interesting take on the situation.

**Tuffcookie1877-** glad you're still pleased with the story, hope your enthusiasm continues. I think you will see in this where I made use of your notes. I will PM you soon about where I want to take this. I got your messages at 3:00 am Saturday night when I awoke with my own insomnia, you're right, we are a lot alike.

**Egoistfangirl**- I love the lines that you chose to pull and your responses to them. I am very curious to see what your response to this chapter will be.

**Lillemmi**- thanks for the review, but now that I know you write so well, my naughty proud kinky fox, I will expect more of you. If not I might just have to seek you out and give you a spank myself. Thank you for contributing to the forum with your yaoi story.

**Rainbowspraklex**x- glad you are here and enjoying the flow.

**IluvHiro**- Thank you for the review and I am glad you're enjoying the story, even if you are a Hiroki/Nowaki fan…

**BlackFlamingo101**- you know I am going to start wanting to hear from you, now that I know you are here.

**AveryEgoist**- I always love your feedback. I am glad you're liking the Hiroki/Akihiko blend because it is going to endure for a bit.

**Puppyfacetwo**- oh they will show up (I think), but I don't intend to pair them together.

**Black Artic Fox**- another wonderful review and I like that you picked up on Hiroki's condition. He is not the pushover Misaki is and it will be interesting to see how their relationship shapes Akihiko's life.

**IAMLEGEND, Kiyo12, MidoriTench90**- Thank you for the reviews! Glad you're liking this story!

**X**- I am anxious for you to weigh in on this chapter. If you could bear to read it that is.


	6. Chapter 6: Muse

**On Another Path**

**Chapter Six: Muse**

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><p>Akihiko watched Hiroki walk away from their encounter. His eyes followed him until the elevator door closed behind his friend. Then Akihiko moved back into his apartment. Looking over the chaotic landscape of his dirty flat, he suddenly felt overwhelmed. The law student ran a hand through his pale thick hair.<p>

_What just happened?_

Still clad only in his towel Akihiko made his way back to the sofa and stretched out across it on his back, relishing the feel of the plush upholstery against his exposed skin. He was a bit of a sensualist, despite his cloistered lifestyle, so rather than run from the feelings that now lapped like waves around the ankles of his psyche; he waded out into their depths.

Once there, the isolation of his existence prior to this moment suddenly, in a wave, came crashing down on him and Akihiko was shocked by its power . This emptiness was something that he had thought he was used to; it had been his constant companion since the day he was born. But for some reason, now, alone in his apartment, it had a new razor's edge to it.

He could feel the blade of his loneliness nudging all his old scars and threatening to split them open again. Akihiko picked up another cigarette and lit it, fully aware he was smoking too much. He raised his hand to his jaw. His cheek still burned where Hiroki had caressed it as they'd stood in the door way.

It was amazing that, with all they'd done that afternoon, it was this simple touch that had struck him as the most intimate, the gesture that had spoken the greatest promise. Not that the other hadn't been amazing. Recalling the silky heat of Hiroki's interior, his body begin to stir again. It was clear to Akihiko already that his experience with Hiroki had set something loose in within him that for years he had kept caged. Now that it had been freed he couldn't imagine ever trying to take it captive again.

Akihiko's mind returned to the moment when he had seen the truth revealed in his best friend's eyes. He rolled over onto his side and drew his long legs up under him, making himself as compact as possible.

_I feel so small not to have noticed before._

He had considered himself to be a good friend, though he knew full well that he could be difficult occasionally.

_Or perhaps more accurately: often. _

Akihiko thought that he'd always tried to be kind to Hiroki and was only now beginning to realize how cruel at times his kindness must have seemed.

_Why didn't Hiroki say anything before? _

The young author was startled to realize that the answer to this was likely the same that he'd given Hiroki once, when his friend had asked him, boiling over with frustration, why he didn't just confess to Takahiro.

The simple answer he'd given, was that he was afraid: fearful of losing a friend that he cherished, worried that the one he held most dear would come to loath and leave him. He had told Hiroki that it was better to suffer in the silence of his love than risk losing his relationship with the object of his affections.

A grim twist tangled Akihiko's sensual mouth. He reached out a long muscular arm and stubbed out his cigarette in the overflowing ashtray on the coffee table.

_The irony of this situation has the most terrible beauty_. Akihiko's heart clenched at the mad poetry of it.

_But now… _There was no doubt in his mind that he now loved Hiroki.

Akihiko surmised that some would scoff, Hiroki in particular, no doubt, at the idea that he could simply release years of unrequited feelings and immerse himself wholly in another love. However, this was the truth of it. Akihiko knew enough of himself to understand that while he indeed had a brilliant mind he was a creature of passions and extremes.

_I am not a man with a middle ground._

It was not so much that he was abandoning Takahiro, he would certainly continue to be the man's friend, but the scales had fallen from his eyes and there was no way, reveling in his new vision, Akihiko could ever return to that kind of blindness again.

In the midst of these contemplations the resolution for his novel emerged. Unbidden, the perfect solution revealed itself.

The aggrieved expression that Akihiko sported suddenly bloomed into something much brighter. He slowly unfolded himself, rose up off the couch, and wandered down the hallway to his office. Akihiko paused at the threshold of his study. His eyes went immediately to the blindfold hanging limply on the door knob. He reached out and the silk of it slipped through his nicotinic fingers.

He lifted it with a touch that bordered on reverential and draped it around his neck.

Then he went and sat at his desk. He opened his laptop and looked at the draft of his impending paper.

_Fuck this. _

He was only obtaining the degree to keep his father's financing anyway, and currently he had more important matters to attend to: he was a writer. A writer with a deadline fast approaching and a sudden inspiration burning like a fever behind his eyes.

Akihiko felt his heart flood with new affection for Hiroki and his friend's honesty.

_Well, at least in the arena of literature, if not love._ Hiroki had been entirely right in everything he'd said that afternoon. Akihiko leaned back in his chair and lit yet another cigarette as he waited for the file with his novel to open. The question returned to him.

_What just happened?_

The hand not holding his cigarette reached up and grazed the gossamer noose around his neck. Though his expression did not change, a tender light glowed in his eyes. The answer despite all its complexity was actually quite simple:

_I have found my new muse._

In another moment Akihiko's long fingers were flying over his keyboard; his words opening the way into another world.

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><p><strong>OLD AN:<br>**

**So, here is the next chapter. Sorry if you feel teased and I know after the last one it may seem a bit short, but I promise to make up for it in the future.**

**If you haven't read: The Known and Unknown by FF author Breathlessloveless I recommend it. It is a reflection on Hiroki's perception of his two loves and is quite lovely. If you do read it, please consider dropping the author a review. Her work is quite good and under reviewed given its quality I think.**

**MyDirtyLittleSecret, bullterrierlove, XxXShiverXxX, xaihposx, Shimaki-33, hitsugaya878-** Thank you for the alerts and the favorites. Hope you will consider dropping me a review.

**Kristin from Italy**- You are far more than a reviewer and I will answer you for as long as you are willing to speak to me, princess. I am very glad you liked the phrase "chrysalis of solitude," I endeavor to have one line that truly pleases me in each chapter and that was the one. I fear I cannot manage more than that. I hope that you are not suffering too much. Your quiet, disquiets me I have become accustomed to your passion. Whatever it is, I hope that you arrive back at your exuberant vocal self soon. Thank you for the comments, even if I don't always agree, your observations are always astute. I particularly appreciated, "basking in the misery for the benefit of a depressed but "poetic" mental condition: Every  
>good artist involuntarily traps himself into that kind of pessimistic realism)." I have often found this to be true.<p>

**InuGoddess715**- Thank you for the review and I am glad to hear you are enjoying the story. They are a good pair, right? Anyway, hope to hear from you again soon.

**Midnight Reader**- Here is your new Chapter. I am trying to get at some of the observations you made about Akihiko's character. I hope I am successful. His is a hard head to get into and yet, I also think I have much more in common with him than I care to admit. We'll be getting back to the bench scene soon… what will happen…so many options at the moment. I loved your review and please keep up with your almost biological dissections of the fic please. I learn so much from my readers and what they say helps to guide the story. It was your comments that moved me to explore what is could have possible enticed Hiroki to make the offer he did to Akihiko and I am glad you were pleased with my answer.

**AveryEgoist**- Thank you for the review, as always. I'm delighted you loved your chapter in Neko-Hiro. Though I am wondering how your Hiro-san felt about it. Yes sorry for the tease, but we will return to the bench scene in the next chapter.

**Lillemmi-** Thank you for the review! Only 20x's?

**Teabags**- well you were one of the ones who asked for this fic darling. Hope you like it.

**Puppyfacetwo**- Glad to know you will survive.

**Nadiwa Yagari**- Glad you noticed. Connections are important to me.

X- Thank you for the impassioned review (s). I loved them as always. Your comments about Akihiko in Neko-Hiro are quite astute I wonder if my words will be able to sway you towards him at all. You have given me a most interesting challenge.

**IluvHiro**- Thank you for the review and you will have to wait just a bit more, sorry… Glad you liked this chapter though.

**Maggie Mae**- the bench is there… but… Well, you will just have to wait and see. BTW thank you so much for posting to the introduction forum. I really appreciated what you said. And I am a big QAF fan myself. It is yaoi but with real boys, height rule and everything.

**MidoriTench90**- Thank you for the review and thank you so much for the mention of that Egoist chapter. Now I have new canon material to reference in my fics. I think it is very interesting that in Egoist act 15 Nowaki says, something to the effect that if Akihiko and Hiroki had gotten together, he might not even exist there. Perhaps that would be the case in this world… you'll have to wait and see. Take care Querida you are a sweetie!

**Egoistfangirl**- An amazing review. Yes, the next meeting with Akihiko and Hiroki is bound to be interesting for sure and I am itching to write it.

**Black Flamingo 101**- thank you for the review GT, you're super. Oh and I apologize if I seem a bit over effusive in my reviews… but seriously, your fic has me so jazzed.

**BlackArticFox**- Your keen observations are appreciated as usual and I hope you continue to be pleased.

**IAMLEGEND**-So delighted to have you with me on another fic!

**PrincessFuFU**-Thank you so much I love Hiroki, he is without a doubt my favorite character.


	7. Chapter 7: Unlocked

**On Another Path:**

**Chapter Seven: Unlocked**

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><p>Seated on the bench, Hiroki took a gasping breath as he struggled to understand the complex feelings tangled inside him. He was aware that despite his egoistical innocence- the surface confidence of his seduction- on a deeper level he'd been unwilling to acknowledge, he had never really expected his plan to work. In fact, if he was completely honest, he would have seen more probability in a piece of the sky breaking loose, tumbling down, and hitting him on the head. But now…<p>

_Akihiko said he loves me._

Hiroki wasn't a child. He knew that men said things in moments of passion that they didn't mean. He wanted to believe that Akihiko was different, but this was the key: he understood only too well that wanting to believe something did not make it so.

_Do I dare to think that Akihiko can truly leave behind his feeling for Takahashi, seven years of longing, after a single fuck?_ Hiroki winced at the word. It hadn't been merely a fuck. For him it had been far more.

_Is it possible that Akihiko feels the same?_ This seemed doubtful to Hiroki, however, he found a slight upwards curl unexpectedly take hold of the corners of his mouth. Such a radical shift at the result of some internal epiphany certainly wouldn't be the strangest or most outrageous thing Akihiko had done in the length of time they'd been friends.

Considering the possibility that there might have been even the slightest sliver of truth Akihiko's confession, something broke loose behind the wall of Hiroki's chest. He was shocked as new tears welled in his eyes. He watched through a blurred lens as a single drop escaped and struck the back of his hand as it rested on his leg.

Hiroki studied his newly anointed hand curiously. Though the drop had the same weight, the same warmth, and wetness of every tear he had previously cried, this was a tear of an entirely new sort: one he had never experienced before. It was an expression of hope, and dare he even think it…

_Happiness…_

Despite his uncertainty, Hiroki felt like a condemned man who had, in his last hour, finally been granted a reprieve. He shook his head, dislodging a few other tears in the wake of this motion. He was shocked to find himself suddenly terrified by this realization but not for the reasons one would think. Hiroki understood that he had been sequestered in a cell of his longing and that now, if a pardon had truly been granted, he would need to leave this and re-enter a new and changed world.

Hiroki was aware in that instant that he had lingered so long in his unrequited state that he had become accustomed to it.

_What will my life look like without this particular longing? _

_What if, a__fter what happened today, by opening myself up to Akihiko, all I find is that I am trading this pain I know well simply for another unknown and possibly greater one?_

Hiroki suddenly found himself remembering a long forgotten episode from his childhood.

There was a dog that his grandfather had kept on the family estate. It had lived near the stable and spent most all of its life tied. Its canine world had measured about twenty feet in circumference, limited in length from the securing stake to the end of its linked lead.

When his grandfather passed, his father had tried to free the dog.

But it had lived in that circle so long that even when the chain was gone, it wouldn't venture outside it. Hiroki witnessed his father physically pull the dog out. However, the moment the dog moved past the point that its tie had ended, the animal had begun to shake and whine. Its eyes rolled and its sides panted in distress, until his father, disgusted, turned it loose again. Hiroki had stood there and watched the hound retreat to its previous place of confinement. Only once the animal was back within the enclosure rendered grassless by its pacing, did the dog relax.

At the time his father had called the cur "a pitiful beast" and as a boy he'd agreed with the man. Today, however, Hiroki found himself with a bit more empathy.

_Now that Akihiko has acknowledged me, can I step outside my well-paced circle and into the possibility of a returned love? _Hiroki sat for another moment and then slowly pushed himself up off the bench.

He was not a dog, he was a man and though restrained, he'd never been a coward: his answer had to be "yes."

The literature student had walked about twenty feet from the place of his decision, when he heard something crash behind him. It sounded like a piece of the sky had come plummeting to the ground not two feet from where he'd just been sitting. Though he was tempted to turn and see what it was, Hiroki kept his eyes solidly focused on the path leading out of the park.

For the briefest moment he had an intense sensation that he had left something behind on the bench. Still, he didn't look back; whatever it was could be left. He was done with the past and from now on he was only looking ahead.

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><p>Contrary to what he had told Akihiko, Hiroki did not return immediately to his apartment. Instead he went to the library and then hit a few used bookstores. He was not really that concerned with his outline. He was a diligent student and had most of it done, and he had been composing the remainder in his head for almost a week now. Still, being conscientious, Hiroki justified his actions by rationalizing that this was for his research. The real truth of the matter however, was that he was not ready to face his lonely apartment.<p>

In his wanderings Hiroki had tested himself, only allowing himself to check his phone on the hour. Four of these had past now and there was still no call from Akihiko. Hiroki looked at the lengthening shadows and tried not to compare them with the increasing darkness he felt looming over his heart.

Coming up the stairs to his flat, his hands weighted with bags of books, Hiroki's brow furrowed when he saw a familiar figure sitting on the ground outside his apartment door. It was Akihiko. The man was asleep, a few plastic sacks and his school bag were sitting on the ground beside him, along with almost a dozen stubbed out cigarettes.

"Akihiko what in the hell are you doing here?" Hiroki's pique covered his pleasure at seeing the man as he nudged the other awake with the toe of his shoe.

"I could ask you what the hell you _aren't_ doing here?" Akihiko shot back, blinking sleepily. "Especially after you were so damn anxious to leave this afternoon to go home!"

"I was doing research," Hiroki lifted his bags for emphasis before setting them down and searching for his key. He was unperturbed by Akihiko's accusatory tone: his friend was rarely pleasant when he first woke up.

"Is that what you're calling it now?" Akihiko raised a skeptical brow as he rose up off of the ground. He was well aware of Hiroki's book buying habits and what they indicated.

Hiroki ignored him as he fumbled with the lock. "You still didn't tell me why you are here. I told you I'd see you tomorrow, _if _you finished your book."

"I'm here for two reasons…" Akihiko watched Hiroki push open the door.

Before Hiroki could enter the apartment, Akihiko grabbed the plastic bags he'd brought with him and pushed them at him. "First I'm returning the favor… So, here's dinner."

Hiroki accepted the bags; he looked down at them uncertainly. "And second?"

Akihiko held up his book bag. "I have new pages for you to read. I finished my novel," he offered nonchalantly.

"What? Already?" Hiroki was incredulous.

Akihiko's face remained impassive but his eyes glowed. "I was, shall I say, inspired."

"Dumb-ass," Hiroki muttered. He moved into the apartment quickly so Akihiko wouldn't see the flush of pleasure filling his cheeks. "Get those bags will you and be sure and pick up your butts." Hiroki kicked off his shoes and carried the food into his clean but book cluttered kitchen.

"How long were you out there Akihiko?" Hiroki scowled as he moved back to take his bags of books from the law student's hands.

"A bit." Akihiko stooped to take off his shoes.

"And why didn't you just call me?" Hiroki returned to the entry way after setting his books in the main room and turning up the floor heaters.

"I didn't want to appear desperate, I guess." Akihiko shrugged himself out of his coat and hung it on the peg on the wall above his shoes.

"And falling asleep outside my door doesn't look desperate?" Hiroki smirked as he took off his own coat and hung it up next to Akihiko's.

"How do you know I wasn't there more than five minutes?" Akihiko challenged, his pale eyes glinting.

"That food is stone cold and you smoked at least twelve cigarettes, Akihiko."

Akihiko knew he'd been caught.

"I was worried about you." He paused a minute and looked seriously at Hiroki. "_And…_ I missed you." His tone was sincere and unapologetic.

"I just saw you a few hours ago." Hiroki growled, but there was a softness in his voice. Catching this and trying to correct it he added more edge. "Besides, I am a full grown man; I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself."

"Really?" Akihiko sounded unsure.

"Yes of course really, you ass!"

Akihiko reached around the door and pulled out Hiroki's key. "Is that why you forgot and left your key in the door?"

"I… uh… I didn't forget! I was just about to get it!"

The young author's expression showed that he was not convinced. He stepped forward and offered Hiroki the key with a smirk of his own.

Hiroki suddenly surprised himself. "No, you keep it." Akihiko looked almost as stunned by this unexpected response.

"Hiroki?"

Hiroki moved into the kitchen blushing furiously and began taking plates out of the cupboard and making tea.

"It's not like you're not here often enough already, and I have a spare." Hiroki made more noise with the dishes than he intended. "Besides," he grumbled, "That way if you show up again, you can let yourself in and not frighten my neighbors."

Akihiko looked at the key and then at his friend. Hiroki glanced up only long enough to catch the tender look in the other man's eye.

"Here then." Akihiko stepped into the kitchen and took the tea canister out of Hiroki's hand and replaced it with a key of his own.

"What's this?" Hiroki's dark eyes were filled with puzzlement.

"Well, an exchange only seems fair. So, it's the key to my flat." Akihiko rubbed the back of his neck as he said this.

"Do you have a spare with you then?" Hiroki asked looking down at the key.

"No," Akihiko said simply, gazing straight at him.

"So, how are you going to get back into your apartment tonight, Idiot?"

Akihiko offered Hiroki a rare smile and stepped in closer. He took his new love's surprised face in his hands and kissed Hiroki's lips sweetly before he moved his mouth to the literature student's ear and whispered:

"I'm not."

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><p><strong>OLD AN:<br>**

**Magorna- **thank you for adding this story to your alerts

**Kristin from Italy- **Thank you for all the lovely reviews today princess. Of course I am proud of you and not a little impressed. I was going to attempt to tell you in Italian I am a three headed dog, but I have a multitude of tales… but somehow it seemed that the pun might be lost in the translation. Thank you for spicing up my day, love. Kisses back at you.

**AveryEgoist**- Hooray! So happy to see you here. I hope you're not terribly mad that Nowaki was thwarted in this chapter. So glad your Hiro-san liked the chapter. If he can come up with a better breed name, let me know and I'll change it.

**MyDirtyLittleSecret-** as I said before, thank you so much for the review and all the alerts and favorites. So glad you're loving the story and feel that I am keeping them IC.

**Maggie Mae-** thank you so much for the amazing reviews and I blushed at your Uke Flu review today. Very sweet so glad you liked that chapter. I think it is my current favorite for that story. Also, I appreciated your comments for this last chapter. Hope the new one meets with your approval as well.

**Nadiwa-** I think that is perhaps the longest review I have gotten from you. So you have made my dreams come true as well. I will keep writing if you keep feeding me such lovely review cookies.

**X-** I thought your comment on the totality of Hiroki's love and the significance of him offering his body, the one thing he had withheld was quite profound, as well, the similarities of the two men's all or nothing personalities. I wish you had told me those things before I had written the chapter though. It would have really helped.

**BlackArticFox-** Thank you for another wonderful review. I am so glad that you're enjoying my depiction of Akihiko. I must say I am liking him much better here. Your review was quite poetic itself and I appreciated your observations about Akihiko using Hiroki for only his boy's love books. Hope you like this new chapter.

**IAMLEGEND**- Thanks so much for the compliment, love!

**Egoistfangirl**- I am so delighted you liked the poetry of this chapter. You picked out some of my favorite lines. And to be honest, I am glad that this is messing with your head. It means the story is doing what it is supposed to. You made so many good points. Too many to list. I am glad that you find this piece addresses your questions.

**MidoriTenchi90**- I am always so happy to see you chiming in on my work. So glad to know you are still with me. I am still thinking about doing a Puppy Nowaki, but I want to get a few other pieces finished first.


	8. Chapter 8: Morning

**On Another Path**

**Chapter Eight: Morning**

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><p>The morning sun stretched slender fingers through the slatted blinds of Hiroki's bedroom.<p>

The literature student had woken up several times during the night. It was a fact that Hiroki's that mind did not easily rest and would often turn on, pulling him from his sleep. Once started, getting his thoughts turned off again was often problematic. Hiroki felt exhausted though now that the night was over he knew that he could probably quite readily fall asleep. The problem with this was, that if he did, waking up in time to get to his morning classes would be all but impossible.

Hiroki lay on his side on his futon; he had one arm curled under his pillow, the other up to his chest. His dark eyes were partially hidden beneath his wild, troubled-sleep-tossed bangs: it was the perfect blind from behind which he could observe Akihiko. It seemed to Hiroki that Akihiko was much more primal in his patterns. The law student could sleep almost anywhere and, once he was out, he slept like a stone. One had to work relatively hard to rouse him and if Akihiko was not ready to rise, unwanted waking seemed to incite something animalistic in him. In his sleep, however, Akihiko looked peaceful and so much younger.

_Hardly more than seventeen_.

Hiroki marveled at Akihiko's slumbering form and relished, for once, the fact he had such difficulty sleeping: being awake early gave him time to rove over the man's body in a way he could never do when his lover was conscious. Hiroki's eyes meticulously traced the outlines of Akihiko's face. They followed the contours of handsome brows, slid over strong cheekbones, feathered across thick lashes. They measured the length of Akihiko's nose, visually kissed his sensual mouth, stroked along his fine angular jaw.

Hiroki had slept with his friend long before they became lovers. It was not uncommon for the youngest Usami to sleep at the Kamijou home when they were children: it was Akihiko's refuge from the emptiness of the family mansion. As they had gotten older, likewise, on more than one occasion, one or the other would stay the night when their conversations or debates carried on for too many hours exhausting them both. Hiroki had lost count of how many mornings over the course of his life his gaze had made this particular pilgrimage.

_Only now the feeling of this journey is so very different. _

Before, a sense of terrible want had been the baggage Hiroki carried with him and the end of his careful wanderings, the destination he arrived at was always a place of aching frustration. Not so this morning, or any of the mornings he'd awakened beside his friend since that fateful day of the blindfold. Now when his eyes traipsed over Akihiko's dreaming countenance, the thing that accompanied him was a sense of wonder; the place he arrived at, an oasis of contentment.

It had been three weeks since they had come together in their new way.

_Three weeks_… Hiroki wondered at both the length and the shortness of it.

It didn't matter to him that Akihiko had not told him that he loved him again since that first day. In a way, it wouldn't have felt right to Hiroki at this point if Akihiko had, as regardless of how he felt, he was certainly not about to make any such grand declaration himself. Still, it amazed Hiroki how naturally their arrangements had been made. Everything felt so seamless, unlike any of his previous attempts at relationship. Not that there had been many.

For the most part actually, outside of the fact they were fucking most every day and sleeping together almost as often, nothing in their relationship had really changed. Hiroki's brow creased at this thought and he amended it. On the surface, it seemed that little had changed, but the timbre of the time they spent together, the conversations they carried, had subtly shifted: there was a new depth to them. Hiroki was reluctant to use this word, but that they shared something _intimate_ that extended beyond the physical/sexual part of their interactions, seemed an apt designation.

Hiroki's eyes slid southward, down from Akihiko's face now to the rest of his sleekly muscled form, over the man's long, strong neck and broad shoulders. Keen eyes meandered across the rounded planes of the young author's lean pectorals. His gaze stopped as he considered the pale pebbles of Akihiko's nipples.

Unconsciously, Hiroki bit his bottom lip in fervid contemplation. He had never known a man whose buds were so sensitive: a few strokes of his fingers across Akihiko's smooth chest and his back would arch up into the touch in the most delicious ways. Feeling that he might become dangerously aroused, Hiroki reluctantly left off this consideration. Instead, his eyes drifted down further into new areas of temptation.

Akihiko, despite the natural coolness of his flesh, slept hot. All that was covering him at the moment was a single, sleep-rumpled sheet, draped low and supported by a lean hip. Hiroki contemplated the wonder hidden behind the sheet's cotton veil. He gnawed his lip again. Akihiko had the most marvelous cock and it was a rare morning when the man woke up before it did. The obscuring cloth in its complicated folding, extended down just below the knees of Akihiko's still coltish legs. Hiroki glanced at his lover's bare feet and after a shiver of sympathy for them, shrugged the thick comforter he himself was completely ensconced in, higher up over his shoulders. As his eyes began to travel back up, Hiroki noticed a leg shift. He immediately felt a blush rise to his cheeks as he slowly lifted his eyes back up to Akihiko's face.

Violet eyes, sleepy but still sly, regarded him intently.

"Hiroki…" The silken cord of Akihiko's voice still had some knots tied in it by his dreams. "Were you watching me sleep, Old Man?" Hiroki deigned not to answer and instead rapidly rolled over on to his other side. He felt Akihiko draw up behind him.

"What a ridiculous assertion!" Hiroki suddenly felt too hot beneath the weight of his heavy blanket. Akihiko pressed up closer still and wrapped a long arm over Hiroki's blanketed form. He pulled the high drawn coverlet down and nuzzled the back of Hiroki's neck.

"Oh, come on. Say it," Akihiko rumbled behind Hiroki.

"Say what?" Hiroki asked with false ignorance as he scooted further away.

"You know," Akihiko purred sliding closer once more.

"I know nothing of the sort!" Hiroki moved again. Akihiko's body followed his voice.

"Oh, come on… Just admit I'm fucking gorgeous and you can't keep your eyes off me!"

"The only thing I'll _admit_, Akihiko, is that you are a conceited ass!" Hiroki scooched over just a bit more, knowing that he was now teetering precariously on the edge of the futon's mattress.

"So defensive in the morning! You would think you were the one studying law," Akihiko teased. He slid up again, connecting with Hiroki purposefully hard, forcing him to lose his balance and topple over the side of the bed.

"God damn it, Akihiko!" Hiroki barked from his book covered floor but before he could really launch into a tirade, Akihiko was on top of him. Akihiko straddled his lover's waist. He leaned over and settled his large hands on the floor, one to each side of Hiroki's head. Hiroki looked back up challengingly at the man atop him; his dark eyes flashed.

"Get off."

Akihiko tried to look serious and failed miserably. "And what if I say no?"

"I am going to kick your ass!" Hiroki growled up at him with no play visible in his own expression. A silvered head cocked to the side.

"Really?"

"I mean it, Akihiko! It's fucking uncomfortable lying on top of all these books!" What Hiroki didn't add was also that he was still aching from the last night's amorous activities. Akihiko ignored his friend's complaint and instead lifted one hand and ran his fingers down Hiroki's chest and trailed them just barely over one of his lean sides.

"Stop it!" Hiroki gasped, trying to twist away.

"Why, Hiroki, are you ticklish?" Though the two had been friend for ages, their relationship had always been predominantly cerebral. This new dimension of physicality left a lot of room for exploration and in this virgin territory, Akihiko was now particularly intrepid.

Hiroki's eyes widened when he saw the mischievous feline glint in Akihiko's pale gaze.

"Nnn… No, I'm not ticklish." But his hesitancy revealed his statement's untruth. That was all Akihiko needed and with that the law student pounced.

"Unngh, stop it! Gahh! Akihiko, you asshole!" Hiroki snorted, trying not to laugh since he was really quite perturbed. Then deciding he'd had enough of this, he made a few quick twists.

The two young men grappled for a moment.

Akihiko's own eyes widened when he suddenly found the tables turned and he was on his back, pinned under his lover. Hiroki's lean sides were heaving; both men were breathing quite hard now. Akihiko tried to rise, but Hiroki pushed him back down.

"Don't… tickle… me… It …pisses… me… off… got it?" Hiroki panted. Akihiko saw the fire in his friend's eyes and so he nodded solemnly. Still, not quite mollified, Hiroki added:

"Comfortable?"

"No, not really. You're right. These books make a fucking poor backrest." Akihiko regarded Hiroki as he said this and though his expression was flat, his eyes acknowledged his understanding. Satisfied, Hiroki clamored off and sat on the edge of the bed.

"I don't care if you fuck me. Just do it on the bed and not on my books." Hiroki offered this as a salve, in case his action had damaged Akihiko's pride. Akihiko however, did not suffer his pride in the same ways his lover did. His voice held a note of awe in his voice as he crawled back up onto the bed next to Hiroki.

"How in the hell did you do that?"

"Kendo wasn't the only martial art I studied when I was younger, you know." Hiroki managed somehow to sound both peevish and humble at the same time. He was blushing quite beautifully now.

"Next time you threaten to kick my ass then, I suppose…" Akihiko moved cautiously around and warily settled himself so that Hiroki was now sitting between his legs. Once he felt assured that his friend's hackles were smoothing back down, he slid in closer and pulled slightly narrower shoulders against his chest.

"...You should believe it!" Hiroki finished the sentence as he pressed back himself, molding his flesh into Akihiko's.

After this exclamation Akihiko felt his lover settle. He kissed the nape of Hiroki's neck, pressed another one to the back of Hiroki's ear. Hiroki turned his head so the next foray of Akihiko's mouth met his. They lingered here becoming simultaneously stilled and stirred. When they mutually parted a few minutes later, Hiroki turned his head to the front again and tipped it back so that it rested on his lover's shoulder, against Akihiko's neck. Akihiko tipped his head to the side leaning it against Hiroki's.

"Good morning, Hiroki," Akihiko whispered. Hiroki murmured back.

"Good morning, Akihiko."

* * *

><p><strong>A little break in the drama. But more will soon come.<strong>


	9. Chapter 9: Substitute

**On Another Path**

**Chapter Nine: Substitute**

* * *

><p>Hiroki walked down the hall to Akihiko's apartment. His forehead was furrowed with thought; his shoulders hunched in an unconscious posture of long-held tension: midterms had just passed. It had been a hellacious few weeks filled with papers and exams.<p>

He had forbidden himself and Akihiko from seeing each other during this time. Normally making such a declaration would have had no effect on the youngest Usami, but Akihiko had tests and papers of his own and so, for once, he had been agreeable. With this arrangement upheld, Hiroki had remained more or less sequestered in either the library or his own apartment outside of classes. He hadn't wanted any distractions and Akihiko was proving to be quite a big one.

Despite being so busy with the crush of his deadlines, Hiroki had been irritated to find he missed Akihiko terribly. Not that he would ever tell his friend this, especially since it wasn't as if they'd had no contact. Akihiko called him frequently. So often in fact, that sometimes the attentiveness was annoying.

Still, even with this as reassurance, he had been feeling unnerved the last few days.

The literature student told himself it was just the stress of his studies, but beneath this he worried that he was becoming even more attached to Akihiko now that they were lovers. Often, during those long years preceding the blindfold, Hiroki had thought that if he could just get Akihiko to acknowledge him, that then he'd be able to stop obsessing about his friend so much. But in truth it seemed the exact opposite had happened: the more of Akihiko he had, the more of him he wanted. Hiroki found himself longing to possess the other man to increasing degrees. He wondered if he would ever discover a bottom to the depths of his affection and the desires it stirred in him.

This neediness disquieted him greatly, in part because he believed that the strength of his emotions was still unbalanced in relation to Akihiko's and as a result of this he felt even more vulnerable now than he had before. It didn't help that Akihiko had not reiterated his confession of "love" since their first joining. At first it hadn't bothered Hiroki and he, of course, had made no verbal confession of his own.

An event just two days prior had exacerbated his mounting self-doubts. Akihiko had rung to say that he missed him. At the time, Hiroki had found himself wondering if "miss" held the connotation of "love." It seemed he had his unhappy answer when Akihiko ended their conversation prematurely because Takahiro had unexpectedly phoned on the other line.

Hiroki had told himself when this happened that he should have been happy, there was a lot he needed to do and taking the time for idle chit-chat wasn't helping him get it done. Still, it had bothered him.

However, it hadn't just been that Akihiko had dismissed him to take Takahashi's call that distressed him; it was his lover's tone as well. Akihiko's voice had held the same warmth, the same pleasure, it had always had before when speaking of/to Takahiro. Hiroki's sense had been in fact, that perhaps it was somehow even greater.

This more than anything galled him.

He expected, after what he and Akihiko had been sharing over the last several weeks, that the man would have been decidedly cooler to his old unrequited. After all, Akihiko had him now, supposedly, so what did he even need Takahashi for at all?

_Unless I am really just a substitute._

Hiroki was roused from his thoughts when a small body almost collided with him. He was about to snap at the person, when he realized it was Sato Mai the new housekeeper Akihiko had recently hired after finally deciding to take his advice.

"Ah, Kamijou-sama, I'm so sorry!" The tiny woman bowed deeply.

Sato was older and rather conservative in her views and Hiroki knew the maid wasn't exactly comfortable with the arrangements between he and her employer. Being a good domestic she held her tongue if Hiroki happened to be at the flat while she was there, but her manner around him was always stiff and awkward. Despite the fact this annoyed him, Hiroki returned the greeting and tried to sound cordial as he exchanged the necessary niceties in return before asking:

"And how was he today?"

"Aikawa-san came this afternoon," was all Sato offered.

Hiroki raised his brow; Sato didn't really need to say anything more.

* * *

><p>In addition to a maid, Akihiko had taken Hiroki's advice as well about getting a new editor. However, he had not waited until his book was published, but had called Marukawa House the day after completing his novel.<p>

When the senior editor in the literature division had been reluctant to replace Akihiko's first editor, Akihiko had explained the situation and shown the man both endings. Not only did he get a new editor as a result, but the woman he'd been working with was promptly fired.

After that, Akihiko asked Hiroki to come with him for his first meeting with his next potential editor, a young woman named Aikawa Eri. The three met for drinks.

While Hiroki sat back and said little at the meeting initially, he was impressed by Aikawa immediately. She let Akihiko know her expectations in no uncertain terms. She also had read the manuscript thoroughly and made several astute comments he hadn't thought of.

After a few drinks, Aikawa and Akihiko began discussing the merits and shortcomings of the latest work by the well-known author, Sumi. At this point Hiroki joined in the conversation and the three carried on a lively debate. When this particular conversation ended, Aikawa leaned back smiling lightly and looked between the two men.

"So you two are lovers?" Her eyes were wine-sparkly.

"What?" Hiroki exclaimed. At the exact same time Akihiko calmly said, "Yes."

"Is that going to be a problem for you?" Hiroki growled as he kicked Akihiko under the table.

"Quite the contrary, I think it's delightful!" Aikawa flagged the waiter for another round. "Usami Sensei and I will be working together quite closely, and traveling sometimes, so it will be nice not to have to deal with any of the unpleasant sexual tension that such close quarters often creates."

"Unless Hiroki kills me before my first book is even published." Akihiko chuckled as he rubbed his shin. Hiroki frowned at his lover's mirth.

"I thought we'd decided to be discreet."

"If she's going to be my editor, Hiroki, she is going to know eventually."

Hiroki scowled at the aplomb with which Akihiko revealed their secret. Aikawa laughed, but not in an annoying giggly way. Watching the exchange taking place between the two men, she smiled mischievously.

"You two make a lovely couple."

"I'll drink to that!" Akihiko suavely raised his glass. Aikawa raised hers as well and two pairs of eyes then looked expectantly at Hiroki.

After a minute's hesitation Hiroki too joined in.

Later, when they left the bar, after making sure a tipsy Aikawa had climbed safely in to a cab, Akihiko turned to Hiroki staggering only slightly. He looked at Hiroki, whose intake, as this was supposed to be a business meeting, had remained rather minimal that evening.

"I think Aikawa-san will serve me well. I mean, she can drink both of us under the table, what more could you ask for in an editor?" Akihiko grinned; though even his smile couldn't stay straight at the moment. Hiroki's dark eyes flashed with exasperation at Akihiko's drunken reasoning.

"You could ask for a brain and the courage to kick your ass if one needs to… Fortunately for you she has both."

"I thought that's what I had you for?" Akihiko hiccupped.

"Come on, Dumb-ass," Hiroki took Akihiko's arm and steering the man towards the cab he'd just hailed.

And with that, the matter of Akihiko's new editor had been settled.

* * *

><p>Akihiko's first book was now off to press and scheduled to come out soon. The publishing house had been so impressed with the final draft; they'd offered him a contract for his next five works. So in addition to his studies, he and Aikawa had been working together regularly on his next novel. Aikawa was already proving to an invaluable asset, plus she didn't take any shit. Sometimes however, after their meetings, particularly ones where Akihiko had been chided, he could be more than a little moody.<p>

Hiroki knew that Akihiko had an outline due. He also knew that with midterms, there was no way that Akihiko had finished this on time. Mai's terse comment just affirmed his conjecture.

"Thank you for the warning, Sato-san." Hiroki nodded. Sato bowed again soberly.

"Ah… I made a week's worth of meals. There's some in the fridge and some in the freezer." Then she offered, her tone purposefully neutral, "they may last a bit less than a week if you're staying over, Kamijou-sama."

Hiroki said nothing to this he just nodded. He was surprised when Sato looked at him rather hopefully, before heading on her way.

"Ah Kamijou-sama, do you think you could convince Usami-sama to stay out of the kitchen unless he's reheating?"

Hiroki looked at the woman questioningly.

"Well, when I got here today, ah… Usami-sama said he had been trying to make an omelette." Sato shook her head almost sorrowfully. "All I can say, Kamijou-sama, is that kitchen… Well, it wasn't pretty."

The literature student felt himself almost smile. "I'll see what I can do, Sato-san, but I can't make any promises."

"Thank you so much, Kamijou-sama, I know Usami-sama might listen to you, far more than some annoying old woman." Sato smiled gratefully. She said her goodbyes then and hurried off.

Standing outside the apartment, Hiroki took out the key that Akihiko had given him. Despite his internal conflicts, it still gave him a secret thrill whenever he used it. He opened the door and once inside, hung up his bag, took off his coat, slipped out of his shoes and into his slippers and headed into the front room.

Akihiko was lying on his couch contemplatively smoking. He noticed Hiroki and shot him a halfhearted smile.

"Hey," Hiroki greeted as he headed into the kitchen to fetch a can of cold tea. He came out with two and was heading towards the couch. Akihiko, after reaching over and stubbing out his cigarette in the recently emptied ashtray, looked at him with a frown.

"Why don't you ever say something more _normal_ when you come in, Hiroki?" Hiroki stopped mid-stride and frowned himself.

"And what pray tell might you like me to say?"

Akihiko looked pensive. "How about _honey I'm home_?" Hiroki rolled his eyes and began moving again towards the couch.

"First Akihiko, that's not what_ normal_ people say, that's couples on TV. Second, even if normal people said that, we're not that kind of couple. And third..." Hiroki pushed Akihiko's silver head up and sat down on the couch. "I am never going to call you _honey_."

"Spoilsport," Akihiko grumbled lightly, taking the can offered him and then settling back down now using one of Hiroki's lean thighs for a pillow. Hiroki opened his own can and took a sip.

"I ran into Sato-san out in the hall, she said Aikawa-san had been here this afternoon. How did that go?"

"Fine," Akihiko replied after taking a drink of his own tea. His tone however, was that of a peevish child. He glanced up at Hiroki and seeing the look on the literature student's face, frowned again.

"What?"

"Sato-san seemed to think that things were a little tense."

"That woman is too sensitive," Akihiko muttered. "Aikawa and I were having a perfectly reasonable discussion."

"You mean another yelling match." Hiroki gazed down into pale eyes, trying hard not to get lost in the depths of them.

"Mmmmm… That's a matter of opinion. Anyway Aikawa-san asked about you. I think she was disappointed that you weren't here." Akihiko offered this as a diversion.

"Why is she so interested that I be here?"

Akihiko took another sip of his tea, what he said almost made Hiroki choke on his tea. "I think she just likes seeing us together. I think she's titillated by the idea of two handsome guys fucking."

"Whatever gave you that idea?" Hiroki half-sputtered still not quite having regained his composure.

"That." Akihiko motioned with his can to a bright pink book on the coffee table. Hiroki reached over and picked it up. It was a BL novel; "Secret at the School Festival" was its title.

"It fell out of her purse while she was here; she told me I could keep it. Thought I might find it entertaining."

"Don't tell me you actually read this piece of garbage." Hiroki looked disdainfully at the pink cover with two young men embracing on it.

"Read page thirty-eight."

Slightly curious now, Hiroki opened the book. It fell open to the page rather naturally, so he figured it must have been one of Aikawa's favorites. Akihiko watched with amusement as the color began to rise in his lover's cheeks.

"This is completely unrealistic," Hiroki scoffed.

"Why do you say that?" A note of inquisitiveness hovered in Akihiko's voice.

"Well, for starters when have I ever…" Hiroki looked down at the text again. "Moaned '_pummel me with your huge cock_,' Akihiko?" Akihiko shot Hiroki a lewd look and the corner of his mouth quirked upwards.

"There's always a first time for everything."

Hiroki furrowed his forehead in response and turned back to the book.

"I hope you weren't counting on this text for pointers. It obviously wasn't written by a gay man." Akihiko cocked a brow in question at Hiroki.

"Oh?"

"Well, to start with what the hell is with this scissoring thing?"

"That doesn't work?" Akihiko said sounding surprised.

"A 'straight' guy did that with me once. Don't you even think about trying it... It's fucking uncomfortable. It can actually tear you up pretty quickly. An ass is not the same thing as a... well, you know. Hiroki was normally blunt about such things, but he found saying the word for a woman's receptive part disconcerting.

"Look, a finger, one... Two at the most... In and out, just like we've been doing is all that you need." Hiroki grew even pinker saying this. "I mean look, it says three fingers here. That's moving towards fisting."

"Anything else?" Though he found the notion of fisting distasteful, Akihiko was even more put off by the mention of one of Hiroki's previous trysts. He knew he was not Hiroki's first, but now that they were established, any mention of his lover's past stirred his possessiveness immediately. He watched as Hiroki's keen eyes scanned the next few pages, his ire was soon replaced with amusement to see his lovely scholar now studying the text as intently as one of his classics.

"There are hardly any balls mentioned in this passage," Hiroki pointed out. Akihiko raised his brows in concession, knowing how much they played a part in his own sensations.

"Well, it's not written for men, it's written for women…"

Hiroki grunted at this as eyes read a bit further.

"Yeah well, okay, how about this too... The prostate isn't something you hit, it's more like something you glide over or press against. It's the friction and the pressure of it being rubbed that makes it feel good, not being pounded into and it's not like its way up in there. It's actually only a few inches in."

"Really?" Akihiko made a noise of surprise. Hiroki looked down at him, his dark eyes held a challenge despite the blush on his cheeks.

"I'd be happy to show you if you like, Akihiko."

Akihiko's general expression didn't change, but his eyes widened a bit.

"Come again?"

Hiroki leaned over setting the book back on the coffee table. Not looking at his lover, he growled.

"Yes, you certainly would."

"Are you serious?"

"Mmmmm," Hiroki answered before taking another sip of his tea, trying to appear nonchalant before adding, "fingers or cock, your choice."

"You'd really top me?"

Hiroki looked down at his friend again and found himself annoyed by the sudden largeness of Akihiko's eyes.

"Apparently I'm more versatile than you think, Akihiko. Though if I recall; I was the one who fucked you the first time."

_I've taken the bottom despite my pride_, Hiroki thought to himself as he said this.

"But I was the one inside…"Akihiko started.

"That is a matter of mechanics, not semantics." Hiroki had a different tone in his growl now. "_To fuck_ implies action and you were the one being passive in that instance." He watched as Akihiko pondered this.

"Besides." A bit of new color bloomed on Hiroki's cheeks. "Aren't you curious to know what it feels like for the other person, Akihiko? This thing you happen to do to so amazingly well."

Akihiko considered this seriously: he was a creature that lived through his senses after all. He looked back up at Hiroki. The brunet had leaned back and was now avoiding his eyes, studiously sipping his tea instead. Akihiko desired to be a considerate lover and though the thought was new, he decided he was not entirely opposed to it (at least once) if it would please Hiroki. There was no doubt that all the other experiences Hiroki had introduced him to had, thus far, been exceedingly pleasurable.

"You'll be gentle with me?" Akihiko half-joked.

"When have I ever not been?" Hiroki shot back, his long fingers drifted down and ran lightly through Akihiko's thick hair.

The two men thought of some of their more recent unions, the strength of their passions, and suddenly both looked at the other, eyes glinting, each sporting a half-smiled smirk. Just then Akihiko's phone rang. He reached over and grabbed his cell from the coffee table.

"Ah, it's Takahiro," Akihiko's voice was suddenly several degrees lighter. He sat up flipping open his phone.

"Hello, my friend."

At this, Hiroki got up and went into the kitchen to put his empty tea can in the recycling. Once in there, listening to the animated tones of Akihiko's voice in the main room, he leaned up against the counter, releasing a slow breath as he felt his frustration mounting… and his insecurity. He waited for the call to end before returning to the main room.

_What could they possibly have to talk about for so long? _

Hiroki fumed as the minutes passed.

_It isn't like Akihiko didn't just speak to that idiot a few days ago._

Hiroki thought again of the fact that his lover had not reiterated his declaration of love. He wondered if Akihiko's attentiveness or if his own perceptions of their increased intimacy was just a façade.

_Am I just a substitute for Takahiro?_ Hiroki asked himself again.

* * *

><p>Akihiko had just closed his phone. He looked up from the couch in time to see Hiroki exit the kitchen but instead of returning to the couch, it looked like he was heading towards the apartment's entry way.<p>

"Where are you going, Old Man?" Akihiko inquired casually. The smile from his conversation with Takahiro still lingered on his handsome face. This slipped off quickly, however, when Hiroki answered.

"I'm leaving," Hiroki mumbled as he kept moving. Akihiko rose quickly and caught him by the arm.

"What do you mean you're leaving? You just got here." Hiroki tried to shake Akihiko's grip off.

"I'm sleeping at my own place tonight."

"No!" Akihiko's grasp tightened and before either man knew it he had pulled Hiroki back over towards the couch.

"I wasn't asking you, I'm telling you!" Hiroki snapped, pulling backwards himself.

"Hiroki…" Akihiko voice was soft but it contained tones of both anger and confusion. Hearing his name said like that this just fueled Hiroki's anger, recalling that it was Akihiko's speaking of his name that caused this situation and the acceleration of his feelings.

"Back off, Akihiko, and leave me alone!" Hiroki shouted. The next thing he knew, Akihiko had pushed him down onto the couch and climbed on top of him.

"You shouldn't talk to me that way Hiroki, I'm your lover!" Akihiko warned, raising one hand and grasping his jaw. His pale eyes flashed with anger now. Despite Hiroki's continued struggles Akihiko leaned in and captured his mouth in a lip-bruising kiss. Finally Hiroki was able to push him off.

"Stop it, Akihiko, you asshole! I am not some young school boy you can intimidate so easily!" Hiroki sat up and dragged his hand across his mouth as though that would obliterate the lingering sensation of the unwanted kiss. He felt his rage swell looking at the man he felt so strongly for.

"You say I'm your lover… but am I? Are you sure I'm not just a substitute for Takahiro? Your affection for him hasn't seemed to dim any and I'm sick of it!" Hiroki shouted.

"A substitute?" Akihiko backed up slightly, a look of perplexed wonder on his face.

_How long have you been feeling this way, Hiroki?_ _Don't you understand that I love you?_

Then Akihiko thought of how well Hiroki had hidden his feelings for years and instantly he felt incredibly foolish to think that his old friend would have suddenly become so transparent.

"You said you loved me Akihiko, but was that really me you were telling that day?" Hiroki felt his pride shatter and he hated himself for saying what he'd been feeling. Revealing his weaknesses so clearly only made him feel more precarious. His eyes welled and Hiroki willed the tears not to fall. His voice shifted from a shout to all but a whisper.

"You loved Takahiro for all those years. Right?

"I was foolish to think that you could give up on that love so easily. That makes me the stand in." Hiroki dropped his eyes from Akihiko's now pained face. His low voice grew even lower with the strain of his emotions.

"I know that's what I offered you initially, Akihiko, but it's not enough for me now. I- I can't stand it." A single tear escaped and ran down Hiroki's cheek. "I don't want you to touch me unless I know that it's me that you're reaching for and not him."

Akihiko's expression grew even more anguished at these words. He reached out and ran a cool hand through Hiroki's hair and then kept it there despite the fact this made Hiroki stiffen.

"Hiroki, how long have you known me?" Akihiko asked softly. "Have I ever hidden my heart from you?" Hiroki refused to look up as he continued.

"That day you came over, when I'd finished my novel, I was hiding my trembling both at Takahiro's news and my dissatisfaction with my work. You saw right through this, and what did you do? You offered me the only thing in all our years of friendship that you hadn't already given me…

"There's a part of me, that, knowing your passion for literature, believes it you might of rationalized it as a sacrifice for the sake of art, but I knew that it was more than that the minute I heard you whisper my name." Akihiko leaned back down towards Hiroki.

"Then there was a moment when I looked into your eyes and I knew in that instant. I said to myself '_oh, he's the one_,' not Takahiro." Akihiko's hand slid down from Hiroki's head brushing over the trail of the tear, until it came to rest, cupping Hiroki's jaw this time so much more gently.

"I'm sorry I grabbed you like that before, Hiroki. It's just sometimes with you my feelings get so strong I can't keep my composure." Akihiko waited for his best friend and lover's glistening dark eyes to meet his.

"Please, you must know that from the moment of my understanding it will never be Takahiro again. He is just a friend. But I won't even talk to him anymore if it bothers you, Hiroki." Seeing shocked eyes, Akihiko hesitated just a moment before moving in to kiss his beloved friend tenderly.

When their lips parted Akihiko whispered, "You have to understand, Hiroki, I won't allow anyone to take the one I love away from me again... Even if that person is you."

* * *

><p><strong>NEW AN: Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, alerted, and favorite this story. It so pleases me to see a notice in my inbox. <strong>

**Now that things are slowing down, I hope to start getting this fic all back up, and then begin posting some new stuff for you.**

* * *

><p><strong>OLD AN: <strong>So I hope you all recognized this as the novelists version of Akihiko and Misaki's couch scene in the first volume of the manga. Please keep in mind once again that this Hiroki has not been crushed and this is a young Akihiko.

Also, the thing about Hiroki being "versatile" in the translation of the manga I have there is an instant in one volume or was it a doujunshi (I'll have to find which one it is unless someone knows) when Hiroki says about his relationship with Nowaki that he continually takes the bottom despite his pride, which means to me this is a choice he's made in his relationship with Nowaki. I believe this is in part because Nowaki has so many issues about being equal with Hiroki and is constant feeling like he's on the bottom of their relationship in so many other ways.

Just my interpretation for what it's worth.

Oh and yes… the couch scene will continue so there's a citrus twist coming up for you next chapter.


	10. Chapter 10: Fuck

**On Another Path**

**Chapter Ten: Fuck**

* * *

><p>Akihiko's words were like a shot of adrenaline pumped straight into his lover's heart. No sooner had they left his mouth than Hiroki felt its beat accelerate; the sound of its rhythmic thumping pounded in his ears and it seemed as though this organ, long tried by his love, might actually burst.<p>

At this point, the couple were kneeling on the couch facing each other.

Akihiko raised his other hand, placing a cool palm on Hiroki's cheek. He leaned back in to offer another tender kiss. He was shocked however, when Hiroki grabbed both his wrists tightly and rose to challenge his lips. The things he'd said had stirred Hiroki's passion and in Hiroki's mind, the time for tenderness was over.

Sensing this now, Akihiko's mouth met Hiroki's in equal measure. Lips crushed together and then parted as tongues flashed and sucked.

They were so eager, that even when their teeth accidentally cracked together as they sought each other out, they did not pause at this primitive sound, the jarring animal clash of it, but simply continued in their frantic oral embraces.

Hiroki's hands left Akihiko's wrists, they clasped his face and sensitive fingers marveled at every sensation beneath them: the fine edge of an angular jaw, the faint patch of stubble that the man's morning razor had skipped, the perfect fit of his finger behind the shell of Akihiko's ear.

Each of these was carefully cataloged and tucked into Hiroki's mind for later contemplation.

Akihiko's agile fingers quickly went to work on the buttons of Hiroki's shirt, opening it to reveal a lean but well sculpted chest. He pushed it down off broad shoulders.

Hiroki lowered his hands and the shirt dropped off.

A jean-clad knee slid between Akihiko's parted thighs. A low moan escaped from him as Hiroki shifted and ground against his heated groin, pressing through the thinner fabric of his slacks, applying sweet, painful pressure against his heavy sac, squeezing his quickening member.

The strong fine-boned fingers of one of Hiroki's hands reached up and twisted through Akihiko's thick pale hair; they pulled his head back exposing his long elegant throat. Hiroki left off licking the smoky flavor out of Akihiko's mouth.

With nipping kisses he moved to on to sample the piquancy of other parts: the slight bitter taste on the base of Akihiko's jaw where a trace of his aftershave lingered, the increasing salt of his neck as normally cool skin was quickly becoming slicked by the heat of his passion. As Hiroki's mouth continued to consume the rich buffet of Akihiko's body, the hand not tangled in his hair, slid beneath the soft knit of the "V" necked cashmere sweater Akihiko was wearing. Hiroki's skilled fingers stroked between hard pectorals, tracing the physical poetry of his lover's muscular form.

Akihiko's back arched up to meet the touch immediately.

Knowing this body so well after their intimate times together, Hiroki teased. His fingertips tickled every inch of chest except the two places his silver-haired scribe most desired until Akihiko could no longer bear it.

"Stop fucking around!" Akihiko growled at last. One of his uncharacteristically heated hands took Hiroki's and slid it over the hard pebble of his nipple.

Hiroki pulled his mouth off Akihiko with a barking laugh at the desperate demand. He untangled his fingers from his lover's wild mane. He raised his head from the strong neck he'd been attending to find his gaze meeting the normally light eyes now dark with desire.

These same eyes widened slightly at the unspoken communication contained in Hiroki's own embered stare.

Akihiko was stunned to realize that his friend been earnest in their earlier conversation and that as much as he'd just laid down his own verbal claim, Hiroki now intended to physically articulate his possession.

As he studied the serious gaze of the other young scholar, Akihiko understood Hiroki was waiting for his acquiescence. With an un-worded low growl this time he granted his permission and in an instant four hands simultaneously sought the hem of his sweater.

The cool air of the apartment caressed the skin of his heated torso as it was revealed; it kissed his tight nipples making them even harder.

Hiroki's mouth followed.

His tongue flicked across an inflamed tip, and rather than quelling the fire, it only sparked it higher. Warm firm lips encircled, wet heat engulfed, hard ivory scraped and worried. On the other side of Akihiko's heaving chest, smooth academic fingers pressed and pinched.

Akihiko felt himself succumbing. Awash in fleshly sensation, his mind melted and any remaining resistance was borne away on the waves of his pleasure.

He wove his long fingers through the thick silken skeins of Hiroki's dark hair. His hands began to offer a gentle pressure desiring to herd Hiroki's head down so that his lover's mouth might graze lower pastures.

Hiroki responded ardently to this cue, biting, licking and sucking his way southward along and across his friend's long, lean torso before he even heard Akihiko's labored whisper.

"Fuck, Hiroki, I need more."

In one seamless motion, Hiroki slipped off the couch and onto his knees on the floor, positioning Akihiko's body with him: turning the taller man's hips, pulling long legs over the edge of the couch, and settling himself between them.

Simultaneously his hands sought the top of Akihiko's trousers and the chorus of his slicking mouth and Akihiko's harsh and increasingly heavy breaths filling the otherwise silent apartment were joined by the sensuous accompaniment of a belt buckle clinking as it was undone, the track of a zipper as its teeth unclenched, and the soft hiss of fabric sliding off narrow hips.

Hiroki was still gently biting along Akihiko's taut low belly. He had removed Akihiko's pants but not his briefs yet. One hand traveled down the surface of one of his lover's thighs, the other kneaded Akihiko's aching member through the soft fabric.

Hiroki sat back and observed with pleasure the expanding damp stain where his lover's desire was leaking. Akihiko bucked his hips up in frustration.

"Since when did you become such a god damn tease, Old Man?"

Hiroki said nothing, but he licked his lips.

The sensuality of this, the heated glint in the mahogany stare, pushed Akihiko over further; unconsciously, he moaned. His long fingered hands flew to the band of his briefs and he began to push them down, determined to find relief for his straining cock.

Hiroki knocked the frantic hands away and grabbed the band himself with a growl of his own. Akihiko raised his hips as Hiroki finally freed him from the constraining fabric. His flushed erection thrust up towards his belly.

Hiroki paused only briefly to admire the beauty of his lover's cock, the veined length of it, flushed dark against the rest of Akihiko's creamy skin. The flesh of it was taut to the point of shiny with the heated blood that filled it.

He grasped the stiff shaft, holding it as he lowered his face to Akihiko's groin. He marveled as always at his lover's unique coloring here, for though darker strands wove through it, the thatch of Akihiko's pubic hair was light as well. It seemed appropriate to his poetic sensibilities that Akihiko's loins, like his head, were girded with silver, given the treasures held there.

Brushing his nose against the silvered patch, Hiroki started at the base of Akihiko's cock. He breathed in the light musk here and realized Akihiko must have showered just before Aikawa arrived. He could smell too, the crisp tang of soap caught in the net of coarse curls. The combination of these scents pleased him.

Lifting Akihiko's dick a bit more, he nuzzled and kissed at its base but then rather than travel its length, his mouth moved down to Akihiko's velvet sac. So sensitive, he could feel the pulse of each part on his tongue as he licked and sucked. He reveled to hear the shivering sighs above him in response to his tender mouthings.

Akihiko slid down further on the couch.

He braced his feet on coffee table in front of it, propping his legs up on either side of Hiroki. His hands grasped the edge of the couch's cushions now, giving Hiroki free reign over his lower regions.

Hiroki's hand shifted and took Akihiko's cock tightly at its base: his grasp constricting, making it so that Akihiko could not come until he was ready for him.

Pulling back briefly, he left off his oral attentions. Hiroki turned his shoulders slightly and with his free hand pulled open a l drawer in the side of the coffee table, extracting the small vial kept there.

He smiled to himself as he considered what Sato-san's reaction must be when she encountered all their various stashes throughout the apartment as she was cleaning.

Not wishing to lose his hold Akihiko, Hiroki brought the small plastic bottle to his mouth and pulled the lid open with his teeth. Though the lube was supposedly unflavored, the chemical taste of it annoyed him and he looked forward to replacing this with Akihiko's natural flavor.

His hand repositioned the vial again and now Hiroki used his mouth to squeeze an ample amount of the cool, thick fluid onto his fingers. Then his tongue pushed the bottle out from between his teeth and it fell to the floor.

It rolled on the polished wood, leaving a small trail of heavy glistening drops.

As his fingers warmed the fluid that coated them, his mouth returned to Akihiko's expectant cock. Hiroki now licked up and down its luscious length. Then he wrapped his lips over his teeth and his mouth over the weeping head. His skilled tongue caressed all its most sensitive spots.

"Fuck, that's good, Hiroki!" Akihiko hissed through his teeth as a tongue cradled the underside of his shaft and Hiroki's adept mouth took him further in. Akihiko moaned when he felt himself completely swallowed and Hiroki's kiss-swollen bottom lip brush the top of his balls.

In his eagerness Akihiko's hips bucked up and jarred Hiroki slightly.

Akihiko hissed again but this time not in pleasure: his action caused Hiroki's lower ridge of teeth to graze the tender underside of his cock. Despite his skilled deep-throating, Hiroki gagged a bit also at the unexpected thrust.

The hand holding Akihiko's base clenched tighter in warning.

When Akihiko felt this and reluctantly settled, Hiroki rewarded him by not removing his mouth. His tongue laved down a soothing salve of saliva.

Akihiko was distracted from any remaining discomfort as a lube-slicked thumb stroked down his perineum and began to gently massage it. His pale head tipped back; his eyes closed.

"Fuck!" Akihiko gasped the word like a prayer as hands and mouth pushed him to the outer edges of pleasure. Rendered all but senseless by the thrill of his nerves, with considerable effort Akihiko opened his eyes and he looked down between his legs.

Hiroki's dark eyes met his, and by the glint they contained, it was clear Hiroki knew exactly how much power he had at the moment.

"Fuck!" Akihiko moaned again and this time the word was the frustrated acknowledgement of his wanton helplessness.

His head dropped back again as he felt a greased fingertip feather over his puckered entrance.

"Fuck…" Akihiko uttered the word once more as a whispered gasp as the finger slipped into his silken interior. He felt the initial impulse to expel it, but he forced himself to still, to comprehend the sensation of being entered.

Hiroki silently relished the feeling of tight heat around his finger. As he waited for his lover to adjust, his practiced digit sought and found the tender gland quickly and stroked it.

Feeling how tight the muscles surrounding it were he adjusted the pressure of his touch not wishing for it to be painful. The rapid rise and fall of his lover's chest, the growling pants escaping from Akihiko's throat told Hiroki all he needed to know regarding the success of his ministrations.

Another finger joined the first. Hiroki felt Akihiko clench around it and waited until he relaxed, pushing in slowly, his fingers soon following the gliding rhythm of his mouth.

For Akihiko, the strangeness of the initial feeling and the mild stretch and burn of it was soon swallowed by a rapidly mounting pleasure.

Within a few minutes he exclaimed, "Fuck!" and this time it was a warning.

"Hiroki, I need to come already…" Akihiko tipped his head forward and panted. He groaned through gritted teeth as he felt the other man's hand grasp the base of his cock more firmly.

"God damn it, I need to come!"

Akihiko practically snarled. His low belly was trembling with tension, his need for release boiling over.

When this declaration bought no relief, Akihiko unfurled his long fingers from the edge of the couch; they clasped and then his fists balled again gripping the sofa's cushions tighter. He threw his pale head back in fevered desperation.

"Fuck," he pleaded and then with the same intonation he uttered the word.

"Please."

With this Hiroki's mouth slipped off with a wet sigh. The hand that held the base of Akihiko's cock began to pump in spit-slick thrusts while the fingers inside applied a gentle pulsing pressure.

Akihiko uttered one final, "Fuck!"

This time it was an exclamation of ecstasy, as his balls drew up and a searing white pleasure he'd never known filled him at the same time his cock twitched, spilling its seeded release over his low belly.

As Akihiko began to come, Hiroki slipped his fingers out of his lover's interior, but the hand holding Akihiko's shaft continued to stroke until the last drop had been milked from his exquisite member.

Once he was sure that Akihiko was spent, Hiroki rose stiffly from the floor, his balls throbbing, his own erection aching within in jeans. Despite this, he picked up the pack of smokes and the lighter off the coffee table and dropped them on the Akihiko's glistening chest as he stepped over bent legs and sat back down on the couch. He drew the back of his hand across his spit-soaked chin

Akihiko lit the fag, his hand trembling just slightly, still rocked by the depths of his pleasure. He drew in deeply and exhaled.

"Fuck…" he murmured contentedly.

"For someone who writes novels, you're a man of surprisingly few words," Hiroki observed dryly. His dark eyes watched Akihiko take another long drag.

Akihiko said nothing in response; he just turned his head to face Hiroki, cocked an eyebrow, and offered a sated grin.

Hiroki's brow furrowed. He leaned over cautiously and plucked the cigarette from Akihiko's fingers and tapped it out in the ashtray. He turned back to Akihiko who was now looking at him with both brows raised.

"Don't get too comfortable yet."

Hiroki grabbed the bare thigh closest to him and pulled it up towards him effectively spinning Akihiko's hips sideways now on the couch. He adjusted his startled friend's position until Akihiko found himself lying on his back.

He stared with stunned eyes as Hiroki, now kneeling between his long legs, opened the jeans he was still wearing and freed his own glistening erection.

Akihiko felt the this stiff length press against his low belly from amidst the worn denim and cool metal buttons, the warm drip of Hiroki's cock added to his own cooling seed. Hiroki leaned down and caught his mouth seeking entrance. Akihiko responded, tracing his friend's tongue, tasting traces of his own bitter flavor.

Hiroki pulled himself up slightly breaking the kiss.

"Now it's my turn to say 'fuck,' Akihiko." Hiroki looked slightly sly. "And you know what they say…"

Akihiko said nothing but his expression asked the question quite nicely.

Hiroki leaned over again and growled low into his ear.

"Actions speak louder than words." He dropped his mouth to Akihiko's neck.

At these words, this time, it was Akihiko who felt the pulse of all of his parts start to quicken.

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

**It's been to long between chapters. Hopefully this will start to make up for that. **

**Thanks to all of you for your alerts and favorites. You make my day. Hope to hear from you. Next chapter is already revised and will go up tomorrow.  
><strong>


	11. Chapter 11: Aches Old and New

**On Another Path**

**Chapter Eleven: Aches Old and New**

* * *

><p>As Hiroki leaned over him again, now stripped of his jeans, Akihiko felt his recently spent shaft brushed by his lover's unencumbered hard cock. He started a bit at the sensation, amazed as always at how sensitive he was after an intense orgasm.<p>

He was distracted from this thought as Hiroki slipped from sucking kisses and teeth began to gently worry his neck. Akihiko was curious when Hiroki paused, mouth slightly opened, tongue extended and pressed against the flesh of his throat. Then as he felt lust-heated breath against his skin, fogging his senses, Akihiko realized Hiroki was tasting his heartbeat, drinking its impassioned cadence butterfly-like through his stilled, pink proboscis.

At this image, Akihiko's mind flashed to another untamed scene he witnessed as child in England.

He'd wandered into one of the estate's pastures in time to see a bushy-tailed, cinnamon-coated vixen take down a sleek hare almost as large as she was. He had watched in sad fascination her proud posture as she'd held fast to its throat until the unfortunate long-ear had ceased its mad thrashings.

The fox's stance had been calm; the crush of her jaws measured once she'd claimed her prize. She didn't shake or tear as he had witnessed his grandfather's hounds do to the vixen's unfortunate siblings.

The movements of the two creatures, the intimate embrace of conqueror and conquered, even though he didn't have the words for it at the time, had struck the child Akihiko as somewhat erotic. He felt the same conflicted stirring here, now, and made a decision.

Already on his back, Hiroki atop him, Akihiko tipped his pale head back more, baring his throat further in a primitive act of bestial submission.

His own red-coated Reynard recognized this subtle shift immediately.

Hiroki's mouth left Akihiko's throat and reclaimed his lips in a kiss that was both crushing and tender. Akihiko felt a gentle hand run through his hair, tickling his scalp, tingling the sensitive skin above his ear. All his senses were heightened by his submission and Akihiko heard the soft shifting of the cushions as he felt Hiroki's body slide down slightly and back up off his acquiescent form.

As Hiroki moved, his hand left his hare's silvered brow and trailed the movement of his body, running down over Akihiko's slick chest and seed-sticky belly, coming finally to rest atop one of the lean thighs currently draped over his now kneeling legs.

Akihiko lifted his head up. He opened his eyes and met Hiroki's dark stare. He was shocked at the undisguised concern in his lover's always serious gaze. Hiroki's voice was raspy with restrained desire.

"Should I stop?"

"I can do this." Any snag in the silk of Akihiko's voice was caused as it caught on his passion, not on any fear.

"Not too sensitive still?" Hiroki's long finger's grazed the increasingly taut skin of Akihiko's quickly reviving member.

"Fuck!" Akihiko growled at the touch and then remembering Hiroki's earlier jest, added, "I mean, no… that feels good, Hiroki."

In his mind, looking down at Akihiko as he was now, Hiroki's thoughts were so clear_._

_I don't want anyone else to touch you, Akihiko. You should have chosen me long ago… Now I want to make it so there is no other choice you might ever consider._

His hand left off Akihiko's cock. He surprised his beloved by taking Akihiko's hand, pulling it up, and resting it over his own heart.

Akihiko felt Hiroki's rapid pulse beneath his fingers. Though his friend said nothing, he suddenly understood as he looked up that this was Hiroki's own communication of submission:

_Hiroki has literally just put his heart into my hand._

Akihiko eyes widened at this, overwhelmed by the weight of it; knowing that despite his best friend's vitriolic demeanor, nothing so fragile had ever been committed into his care. It gave him pause.

After a long silent minute, he slowly nodded.

Hiroki gazed at him a moment more then looked away, resolved. He released Akihiko's hand and allowed it to fall back to the cushions of the couch. He twisted his torso slightly and bent awkwardly back to the coffee table, pulling out the drawer again and taking out a condom.

"Wait." Akihiko rose up on his elbows.

Hiroki stopped, a puzzled look on his handsome face. Though their first encounter had been bare, since then they had almost always used a condom.

Not for any risks of disease since, though he had been active since he was fourteen, Hiroki had always been meticulous about his health: his last test, before the blindfold incident, had been negative and he'd been with no one but Akihiko since he'd been given that report.

Likewise, Akihiko, outside of his one disastrous instance at the brothel, where all the girls' cleanliness had been assured, had been with no one but Hiroki.

But Akihiko relished coming inside, while Hiroki didn't relish having to deal with the cleanup, so a sheath had been their compromise. (It also saved the upholstery),

"No condom." Akihiko's voice was firm. "If I am going to have you inside me, I want to feel your flesh and not some god damn rubber glove."

Hiroki looked at Akihiko curiously. "And the couch?"

The youngest Usami sighed at his lover's cautious ways, sometimes they really pissed him off.

"Fuck the couch; I'll buy a new one." Akihiko declared, rolling his eyes.

The corners of Hiroki's mouth quirked up.

"I'd rather fuck you than the couch, Akihiko."

This drew a smile from Akihiko as well. Hiroki threw the condom back into the still-opened drawer. Then he leaned back over and retrieved the small vial he'd previously dropped on the floor. He squeezed the thick fluid into one of his hands.

"Here, give me your hand again."

Akihiko complied and Hiroki squeezed lube into the extended palm. He watched with lust-filled eyes as Hiroki then grasped his own stiff shaft and began to slather it with the lube.

Never had Hiroki's cock looked so magnificent. Set upon a pair of beautiful balls; it was long and wonderfully thick. Akihiko had every inch of it mapped now; he'd memorized every ridge and pulsing vein of it.

Though hardly hirsute Hiroki kept himself religiously shaved in this region too and Akihiko loved it. It made his amazing cock seem much bigger and the skin of this and his silky sac so soft and deliciously tender he could hardly keep his mouth off the man.

Hiroki looked up startled when Akihiko propped himself higher on his elbows and growled.

"God, Hiroki … You look so fucking sexy when you do that. Who knew watching someone wanking could be so hot."

Hiroki looked down blushing fiercely.

"Dumb-ass, why do you say such embarrassing things?"

Akihiko brought his lube slicked hand to his own now anxious cock in answer and began languidly stroking it.

Seeing the sudden shift in Hiroki's expression as he did this, Akihiko laughed, his lavender eyes glinting.

"I think the physical evidence strongly supports my assertion, _watching someone else play with his own dick can be as engaging as hell_. I rest my case."

Hiroki, grabbed Akihiko's thighs and pulled his hips towards him, dragging the taller man back down off his elbows.

"Councilor, I think I liked it better when you were stuck in your only muttering 'fuck' phase."

Akihiko noticed the contrast on his fevered skin between Hiroki's hands: one sticky, the other smooth.

"Well how about this then," he challenged, despite his rather precarious position, "Hurry up and fuck me Hiroki. I'm getting impat- ... Ahhhh..." Akihiko found he suddenly lost all his words entirely as Hiroki's greased hand left his thigh and a finger eased its way back into his entrance.

"As I was saying," Hiroki said not unkindly, "Hush."

His tone was slightly awed at the sight of the masculine beauty beneath him. Akihiko's eyes had closed, his head tipped, back arched slightly at the still unfamiliar sensations.

Hiroki was pleased that there was less resistance this time and Akihiko seemed to adjust quickly. After the man beneath him acclimated he removed the finger and re-entered again with two.

"Ahhh… Fuck!" Akihiko gasped and began stroking his own cock again as Hiroki's fingers began slowly stroking him internally.

"Good boy, that's much better," Hiroki teased lightly.

He removed his fingers and pulled Akihiko's legs up a bit higher, positioned his aching cock at Akihiko's accepting orifice, and began slowly pushing in. He watched his lover closely. He suddenly felt Akihiko's muscles clench in rebellion and his glorious glistening chest hitch just slightly.

"Idiot, you have to talk to me," Hiroki implored as he waited for Akihiko to adjust before moving again. Akihiko opened his lavender eyes and stared at him. Their gazes met and locked in challenge to each other.

"Don't be so bullheaded, it's not easy the first time and I won't think less of you if you say that it hurts," Hiroki chided in response to Akihiko's stubborn silence.

Receiving no verbal response still, he lifted Akihiko's long legs a bit higher and pushed in deeper, despite the pinch to his cock. Hiroki saw the ache of it in his friend's eyes despite Akihiko's stoic countenance.

Seeing his threat go unheeded, Hiroki finally resolved himself to Akihiko's stubbornness. He urged a softer tone then, "breathe. And try to relax. If you keep clenching it will just hurt more."

Akihiko drew a deep breath and willed himself to release. But the moment Hiroki felt this and began to push in further, despite the lube, Akihiko felt himself begin to panic at the stretch and the burn of something far thicker than fingers. He felt his muscles seize again at the persisting intrusion.

If it had been anyone else, he would have remained silent, but as it was Hiroki, he threw back his head in frustration and growled.

"Nnuugh… fuck, Hiroki… I… I… can't do this."

Hiroki looked down at Akihiko's tight, heaving belly and sweat slick limbs. He knew his friend wanted to please him and what such a declaration must have cost Akihiko's pride.

Despite his almost unbearable need, Hrioki withdrew.

"Uh… here… move with me, Akihiko." Hiroki guided his lover up. As they rearranged themselves Hiroki once again blessed the width of Akihiko's sofa.

Akihiko followed the direction and found himself unexpectedly straddling Hiroki's lap.

Understanding what was being offered, Akihiko raised himself up off his knees. His hands gripped the back of the couch. He felt Hiroki position his rigid member beneath him, the head of it nudged his tender portal.

"I'm so pent, Akihiko. It is probably not going to take much." Hiroki admitted this despite his own pride. A new blush further darkening his already sex-flushed skin. "But let's try this. You lower yourself down as you're ready… Take your own pace."

Akihiko looked down at him pensively.

"It'll be easier this way. Like I said, just breathe." Hiroki soothed while still managing to keep his voice suitably rough, so as not to offend Akihiko's masculine sensibilities too much.

Akihiko, considered this new arrangement a moment, then he leaned down and kissed Hiroki deeply as he slowly began to lower himself. Hiroki's tongue entered Akihiko's mouth just as his dick entered his untried ass.

The sense of this doubled entry was profound.

Hiroki's dry hand grazed Akihiko's cheek, his other holding his slick dick in place. His mouth caught the rasping gasps as Akihiko gradually settled.

Then Hiroki tipped his head back breaking their kiss. Simultaneously his greased hand slipped down cradling Akihiko's balls; he squeezed them lightly, drawing a hissing exhalation from the man atop him.

Once Akihiko had taken him in fully, Hiroki's hand moved up, grasping Akihiko's rigid cock and stroking it, he leaned his head forward and kissed a blushed nipple.

Akihiko's whole body tremored from the flood of fleshly sensations he was experiencing: his nerves were stretched and jangled.

When he had completely sheathed Hiroki inside him, Akihiko felt the strangely satisfying press of Hiroki's full sac against his newly-filled ass. He considered how he felt in that moment. Sheathing, encompassing, engulfing, consuming, even filled and penetrated: none of these words were passive. At this, Akihiko suddenly realized the truth of Hiroki's earlier words regarding the part of the receiver in the act of sex.

After carefully, measuring his internal impressions, Akihiko began to shift his hips tentatively at first, beginning to ride the man beneath him, reveling in this new experience of fucking.

"Fuck," Akihiko breathed not caring that he was being repetitive, as he rocked his ass, testing this new motion.

His hands gripped the back of the sofa tighter as the liquid heat, the heavy tension increased throughout his lower region,

"Fuck is right," Hiroki growled pleasurably, lost in the silky warmth of Akihiko's interior.

As Akihiko continued his slow, shallow, exploratory motions he looked down at his lover beneath him. His ass was aching from the stretch of it, but in the position they were in, the slightly upward curve of Hiroki's erection magnificently rubbed against his prostate.

Finding that seated as he was, he controlled the movement and his own sensations, Akihiko felt himself begin to relax more. His aching diminished as his pleasure mounted.

Hiroki released Akihiko's cock. His hands slipped around his friend's slim waist and now firmly pressed against the small of Akihiko's back. He marveled at the hard polished feel of the muscles beneath his fingers.

His fingertips traced the curve of the spine, down, following the swell of Akihiko's beautiful backside. Hiroki's hands kneaded the fine firm ass brushing the tops of his thighs.

At this added touch the sounds smoldering Akihiko's throat became more guttural. Even his one remaining word "fuck" turned to smoke and slipped away from him.

Soon outside the quiet hum of appliances, the ticking of the clock on the wall, the only other sounds in the still apartment were the men's heated breathing, the occasional growl or moan, and the rich sucking sound of their slicked, sliding flesh.

As Akihiko continued to move, the two friends, now lovers, stared into each other's eyes in a profound exchange of silent communication.

This time it was Akihiko who took one of Hiroki's hands and set it against his heaving chest. He said aloud the words Hiroki had thought but not articulated verbally.

"I don't want anyone else to touch you. You should only ever choose me, Hiroki."

Hiroki's eyes widened at this. He shifted his hand, entwining Akihiko's fingers with his. He pulled the hand to his mouth then and placed a kiss in its palm returning the confession.

Finally Hiroki broke his silence, his cock was frantic.

"I can't hold back, I need to move, Akihiko."

Akihiko lifted himself slightly without causing Hiroki to slide out. He placed his hands once more on the back of the sofa as he bent forward and rested his forehead against Hiroki's. Hiroki's hands grasped Akihiko's hips. Akihiko moved his head again to the side hanging it over Hiroki's shoulder, obscuring his face. Taking this as permission, Hiroki began to thrust his own hips upwards.

Akihiko turned his head resting his cheek against the damp brown locks, breathing his growling pants into Hiroki's ear, spurring his lover onward despite the increasing ache inside him from Hiroki's increasingly rapid movements.

"Inside?" Hiroki rasped the question knowing that his release was eminent.

Warm lips brushed the tender flesh of his ear.

"Inside," Akihiko whispered before taking an earlobe between his teeth and pulling it.

Then Akihiko's hands released the back of the couch. He wrapped long arms around Hiroki's neck pulling his dark head into his chest.

Groaning as Hiroki's hips bucked up into him deeper and faster still, he bowed his head and closed his eyes against the few fragile tears conjured by the pleasured pain whose song now filled all the chambers of his body.

Hiroki came with a loud cry and Akihiko felt the heat spill into him, baptizing his interior. He focused on the liquid pulse of it and marveled at all the ways that one could experience the word "filled."

He could feel the continued quiver as the last waves of Hiroki's release receded. But after a few moments Akihiko noticed his lover's shaking had not ceased and he suddenly felt the warm wetness of silent tears against the sweat-slick flesh of his chest.

"Hiroki?" Akihiko ran his own shaky fingers through his friend's sweat sodden locks. He realized in this exchange, another piece of Hiroki's armor carefully constructed armor had fallen off.

After a few moments more, Hiroki pulled his head back from their embrace. He wiped an arm across his eyes and when they met Akihiko's they challenged him to comment.

Akihiko remained seated over his lover's lap. He had settled down on it in fact, Hiroki's softening shaft still embedded inside him. He looked into Hiroki's uncomfortable eyes.

"Don't you fucking fall asleep on me now, Old Man! I fully expect you to finish me off, Kamijou Hiroki." Akihiko made his tone heated.

Hiroki's eyes flashed with appreciation at his friend's understanding.

"For a bottom you're pretty fucking bossy, Usami!" However, Hiroki immediately spat into his hand as the lube had now dried and grasped Akihiko's sticky cock.

"One fuck does not a bottom make…" Akihiko retorted.

"Sweet fuck…" he exclaimed a moment later, however, as Hiroki's skilled hands stroked his shaft and fondled his sac simultaneously bringing him quickly to his own peak and then pushing him over.

"We'll see about that," Hiroki growled, feeling himself already beginning to stir again within Akihiko as he watched the beautiful man astride him come.

* * *

><p>After their escapades the two lovers had rested, entwined together on the couch for a time. Then they shared a shower and Hiroki showed Akihiko how to clean himself.<p>

"What happens if I don't?" The two men stood together face to face under the reviving steamy stream.

"Well, it depends on how much is in there. It could leak out later. Not the best sensation, say, when you're walking down the street, or standing waiting for the train." Hiroki was thankful for the fact that his heat-flushed skin kept his bright blush at the question from being noticeable.

"I don't think I'll be complaining about the condoms so much after this," Akihiko offered expansively.

"Dumb-ass, just shut up and wash my back," Hiroki grumbled turning around.

Once he had his back was to Akihiko, however, he couldn't help but smile.

* * *

><p>After cleaning up, Akihiko and Hiroki passed a quiet evening in each other's company.<p>

They ate the food that Sato-san had left, sitting across from each other at a corner of the tall formal table in the dining room, eating mostly in silence. Low strains of classical music played in the background.

"You're a bit subdued tonight, Akihiko," Hiroki observed. "Everything okay?" he tried to sound casual.

"How long after do you usually ache?"

Hiroki looked at his friend for a moment before he realized what it was he was being asked. He knew by now that he shouldn't be startled by Akihiko's directness but even after all these years the man still managed to surprise him.

Hiroki's brow furrowed at the question.

"That's a bit personal isn't it?"

"So is having someone's dick in your ass." Akihiko was annoyed by his friend's evasiveness.

Hiroki blushed further at this this, he took another bite of rice and chewed contemplatively. "Ummmm, I suppose so…"

"So?" Lavender eyes searched Hiroki's face.

"I don't know, it varies." Hiroki shrugged looking away, trying to quell yet another embarrassing blush. "Maybe a half hour, usually, I guess. Though sometimes as much a a day. It depends on what was done and how many times."

"Are you still uncomfortable, Akihiko?" Hiroki was concerned, though he'd checked Akihiko after and nothing had seemed to be torn.

"Not so much... No," Akihiko murmurred after a moment's pause.

"Is it like that every time?" Akihiko was experiencing a new consciousness of how frequently and how vigorously he'd taken Hiroki without any awareness of what his lover experienced.

"It gets better over time, but yeah, I usually ache a bit after." Hiroki met Akihiko's eyes now and he saw his lover's pained expression.

"I don't mind that it lingers, Akihiko," Hiroki growled softly looking away again. "It makes me feel well attended to."

Akihiko smiled at his friend's choice of words.

"You're amazing, Hiroki, you know that?"

Hiroki realized that the expression on his lover's face was very close to the one's he used to covet when Akihiko was with Takahiro.

"Shut up, Dumb-ass," he muttered, suddenly frowning.

"Hey, Hiroki."

"Yeah?" Hiroki braced himself for another embarrassingly outrageous articulation. Though not outrageous as he feared, Akihiko's comment was embarrassing nonetheless.

"You've got something there." Akihiko indicated the corner of his mouth with a gesture of his hand.

Hiroki took a swipe with his napkin, brushing his lips.

"Did I get it?"

"Nope, you missed. Here let me help you."

Akihiko stretched forward holding his napkin. Hiroki moved forward as well, offering the side of his face.

Dark eyes widened in shock when instead of using his napkin, Akihiko leaned in slowly.

"For a grown man you're pretty adorable you know," Akihiko whispered. He tenderly caught Hiroki's bottom lip between his own.

While Hiroki's mind told him to pull away, his body remained perfectly still. He closed his eyes overwhelmed by the feel of the mouth on his own: every time Akihiko touched him now it felt increasingly intimate.

Akihiko's hand came up lightly cupping the underside of Hiroki's fine jaw. His mouth teased the still slightly kiss-bruised lower lip with infinite care and then trailed softly over Hiroki's chin. The tip of his tongue flicked out delicately, lifting the single grain of rice that had caught on the corner of Hiroki's mouth and pulled it into his own.

Then slowly Akihiko broke away. He leaned back in his chair.

"I think I got it," his eyes shone with a glorious light.

Hiroki, opened his eyes to Akihiko's loving expression

"Idiot," he breathed, but his voice was exceedingly tender.

* * *

><p>Following dinner, once they'd washed the dishes, the two men sat companionably at the large table working on their various projects. Getting to this place was no small feat: Akihiko was reluctant, Hiroki insistent. However, Akihiko found that within an hour, to his pleasant surprise, the remaining outline he'd been dreading was almost completed.<p>

After they each reached a stopping point, the couple nursed a few beers as they watched the Korean cult classic, Chan-wook Park's "Old Boy." They then spent two hours after its conclusion comparing the three act format of the piece to Shakespearean tragedies. They argued with amicable heat over the meaning of the metaphor contained in the scene where the main character, Oh Dae-Su, after a fifteen year imprisonment, once finally released, consumed a live octopus.

Reaching an impasse in their debate, now that their every appetite had been sated, they retired to Akihiko's large western style bed.

Hiroki reclined, reading, his pajamaed knees bent and back propped on his pillow against the headboard.

Akihiko, wearing only boxers, lay on his back, one long arm bent and tucked behind his shaggy head as he puffed his last cigarette for the day.

"You know today wasn't the first time I ever had someone inside of me," Akihiko offered rather casually through his smoke.

"Oh?"

Hiroki closed his book and took off his reading glasses looking down into Akihiko's pale eyes. He didn't question further, he just waited to see what the other man would offer.

"Ummmm…" Akihiko's lavender gaze slid away and fixed on the ceiling.

"It wasn't a cock though, only a finger. I was just shy of ten at the time."

Akihiko rolled over onto his side and stubbed out his smoke in the ashtray on his nightstand before he reached over and turned out his light.

Hiroki sat there in stunned silence and waited for Akihiko to turn back over to him. When he didn't, Hiroki set his book and his glasses to the side on the stand on his side of the bed and turned his light off too.

Then he slid down and positioned himself along the length of Akihiko's back. He tucked one arm under the pillow they were now sharing, nestled his forehead against the back of Akihiko's silvered head, slipped his other arm under his lover's and wrapped it around Akihiko's broad chest.

After a few more minutes of silence, Akihiko took Hiroki's hand in his own and entwined their fingers together.

"He was an older boy; he lived on an adjacent estate. He was the same one who taught me how to use a kiss to stop someone crying." Akihiko whispered into the dark.

"His father was one of the men my mother was fucking at the time... He was a duke I believe." Akihiko paused trying to recall.

"They found out about it… He wasn't too experienced and as a result not particularly gentle.

"The maid saw stains in my shorts and reported it to Tanaka.

"It was one of the reasons I was sent back to Japan."

Akihiko sighed and was surprised at how bitter a breath could sound.

"The families didn't want a scandal."

Without letting go of Hiroki's hand, he rolled himself back over so that he was facing Hiroki, though he couldn't see Hiroki's face in the dark.

"There are times in my life I supposed I should have hated that boy, but I just have never been quite able to manage it.

"I didn't really fit in England anyway… Not that I ever fit that well here in Japan either.

"And despite what he did, it felt at the time as though he was loving me," Akihiko confessed.

"I was looking for kindness then, so that was how he seemed to me at first. Even though he hurt me, I wasn't forced.

"After he'd done it he seemed to feel terrible about it.

"He held and petted me for quite a long time after and kept saying he was sorry.

"That's actually what I remembered the most about the experience, not being entered, but being held."

Hiroki lay frozen, for a minute, his mind reeling from Akihiko's disclosure. He couldn't think of a sensible response, so he just kept silent. Then he untwined his fingers and pulled back his hand.

His heart broke a bit when he felt Akihiko immediately stiffen as his touch abandoned him.

Hiroki however, reached this hand up almost immediately and began to awkwardly stroke Akihiko's hair until he felt the man's tense frame relax again. He leaned in and placed a tender kiss on his lover's forehead before gathering Akihiko back into him .

"You always know exactly the right thing to say to me in a pinch, Old Man," Akihiko murmured gratefully.

"But I didn't say anything, Akihiko."

"Exactly."

Akihiko shifted himself down in the bed and hesitantly tucked his head under Hiroki's chin.

Hiroki tightened his hold around Akihiko's bare broad shoulders and drew him closer, and though each man was lost in his silent musings, shortly thereafter they were drifting together.

* * *

><p><strong>I know I said I would post this tomorrow, but I have never been the patient sort.<strong>

**This is a present for my darling Black Flamingo, who has been so wonderful of late with all her brilliant updates (both public and personal).**

**I hope to hear more from you all, though I know lemons tend to render some people silent.**

** Hopefully there is enough here in content and canon play for your great critical minds to sink its teeth into. I do plan to post author's notes next chapter as your feedback has been so tremendous.**


	12. Chapter 12: Cooking

**On Another Path**

**Chapter Twelve: Cooking**

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><p>Hiroki slept remarkably well, despite having learned such uncomfortable information about Akihiko's history.<p>

He awoke the next morning and his eyes opened slowly. He felt mild confusion when his hand drifted over to the empty spot where his lover's body should have been. Rolling over he saw Akihiko was absent.

_It's not like him to be up before me._ Pushing himself up into a seated position, Hiroki glanced around the quiet bedroom.

Akihiko had at some point during night switched position with him and had become the "big spoon," the embracer rather than the embraced. The author's unusually hot flesh had heated Hiroki to the point of discomfort. Rather than separate himself from the nest of Akihiko's arms, Hiroki had removed his nightshirt. Now sans shirt and sans Akihiko, he rubbed hands over lean limbs and felt gooseflesh.

_I'm cold._

Hiroki shivered and began searching for the top to his pajamas.

Locating it amidst the tangled covers, he pulled it on without bothering to button it closed. Hiroki swung his legs over the edge of the tall western-style bed, slid his feet in to his slippers, and headed out into the apartment to see if he could locate his wayward bedmate.

As he stepped into the hall Hiroki smelled something peculiar. He followed his nose to the kitchen and encountered a sight that struck him as both humorous and terrifying at the same time.

_Akihiko is cooking?_

Still wearing only his boxers, Akihiko had mustered at least enough sense to keep from getting his bare torso scalded. He had donned one of Sato-san's aprons to shield himself but this covering was short on his lanky fame, extending barely past the hem of his shorts.

Akihiko's silvered hair was still morning-wild. He smoked as he cooked, but was giving such concentration to his meal preparation that he hadn't tapped his cigarette recently. A long tube of ash extended precariously over whatever it was that sat simmering in the skillet on the stove beneath him.

Watching his friend working over the range, Hiroki realized for the first time that day he'd just fallen in love with Akihiko again. He wondered, however, after their previous day's exchanges, if things would be awkward between them this morning.

His question was answered when Akihiko finally felt eyes on him. The young author turned. Hiroki stood there, leaning in the doorway, arms crossed over the bare chest visible beneath his open shirt, his brunet head bed-rumpled. Akihiko's expression didn't change as he regarded Hiroki, but his lavender eyes glowed with pleasure.

"Morning," he said around his cigarette, the brushed silk of his voice still slightly wrinkled by sleep.

The surface of the of counter surrounding the stove looked like a disaster area and Hiroki suddenly understood what Sato-san had meant when she'd described the state Akihiko had left her kitchen in as "sad."

_Whatever it is Akihiko has in that skillet, doesn't look a hell of a lot happier either._

"Morning," Hiroki returned, his usual growl made rougher by the remaining gravel, the sediment of his dreams.

He walked over alongside the new chef. Reaching over, he carefully plucked the cigarette from between Akihiko's lips. He tapped it out in the ashtray and then replaced it.

"Whatever it is that you're making, I'd prefer mine without ash."

Akihiko smiled at this around his newly shortened smoke.

"So, what the hell is it?" Hiroki looked at the lumpy mound in the skillet suspiciously.

Akihiko's brows raised slightly, his voice held a mock tone of hurt. "Omelet."

Hiroki's brow furrowed. "What?... So, what did you put in it to make it look like _that_?"

Akihiko ignored the question as his eyes scanned the ruin of the counter. He picked up a carton and contemplated it seriously. "Maybe the flavor will come out if I put some more cream in it," he muttered almost to himself.

Hiroki's eye caught the carton as Akihiko started pouring its contents into the already overburdened skillet.

"That's not cream, Moron; that's drinkable yogurt!" he snapped, reaching for the carton and pulling it away. Looking at the bubbling concoction Hiroki growled, "You should stop, Akihiko. You shouldn't even bother if you don't know what you're doing."

"You sound like Sato-san did yesterday," Akihiko sighed stirring the pan. "That woman is so easily distressed."

Hiroki pushed himself away from the counter. He couldn't bear to watch Akihiko torture his poor ingredients any longer. He moved over to the fridge and began pulling out some of the things the housekeeper had made.

"Yes, when I ran into her in the hall yesterday, Sato-san mentioned you'd made an omelet as well. In fact, she said something about keeping you out of the kitchen altogether."

Hiroki added, "To be honest, Akihiko, if yesterday's attempt looked anything like today's, I would think that culinary experience would have been enough for you."

"Oh, I didn't eat it," Akihiko returned mildly, "that was just for practice." He said this as though this explanation made perfect sense.

Hiroki felt himself drawn back alongside his lover; he peered at Akihiko carefully from under shaggy brown bangs. "What is this all about, Akihiko? Why are you even trying to cook? I mean, normally you can barely even make coffee."

Akihiko looked at Hiroki with a suddenly serious expression, then he stubbed his cigarette out in the ashtray beside him. He turned back to the stove top and said quietly, "I wonder why?"

"That's what I am asking you, Dumb-ass," Hiroki muttered peevishly.

Akihiko looked back up. "The last time you spent the night you said you wouldn't be domestic. So, I thought I'd try it."

Hiroki shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. "I didn't say I wouldn't be domestic. I said I didn't want to be 'your god damn wife' always having to pick up after you!"

He returned to the other side of the kitchen and began preparing his own plate from the much safer looking items provided by the housekeeper. "I thought that's why you hired Sato-san." The heat had left his voice now.

"Ummmm…" Akihiko hummed noncommittally. He turned off the burner on the stove, took off Sato's apron, and set it aside. Then he turned around to study the back of his lover.

_Such a glorious frame… and contained within it an irritable masterpiece._

Stepping up behind Hiroki, Akihiko wrapped long arms around the slightly smaller man from the back.

"Morning Hiroki," he mumbled into the back of his lover's sleep-styled coif.

"I think we covered that already, Akihiko… ahhh," Hiroki gasped.

Cool hands had slipped under the fabric of his open pajama top and grazed across the expanse of smooth, bare chest. Skilled finger's circled nipples like prey birds and alighted on hardening tips. A moment later Hiroki's shirt was off, tossed amidst the wreckage of Akihiko's ingredients.

Hiroki set his palms on the counter before him. "Akihiko, what are you doing?" His low voice was husky. "I thought you were hungry."

"I am hungry… Famished in fact," Akihiko sighed in a smoky whisper. His hot mouth began grazing the back of Hiroki's neck. "I have been starving for Hiroki for almost a week now." One of Akihiko's hands slipped down and found its way under the band of Hiroki's pajama bottoms.

Hiroki's dick was already half hard.

"I think you must have missed me too," Akihiko murmured into a pinked ear. "You certainly are responding well enough." His hand slid down further and grasped his lover's stiffening cock.

Hiroki jumped slightly at cool fingers against his heated flesh; he felt the skin of his shaft shy from the chill.

"Hey… watch those hands! God, Akihiko, can't you breathe on them or something to warm them up first?" The critique was cut short as Akihiko's hand quickly warmed from its contact with his own growing heat. A low growl of pleasure caught in Hiroki's throat as Akihiko began kneading his sac. Akihiko's other hand found the drawstring to Hiroki's loose cotton pants and they instantly pooled around Hiroki's ankles.

"Did you take care of yourself when I wasn't around this week, Hiroki?" Akihiko released his lover; Hiroki stepped the rest of the way out of his bottoms as he turned around to face him. The young scholar's dark eyes met his evenly.

"Of course I did, Akihiko. What the hell do you think?"

Hiroki was shocked when Akihiko quickly moved in and strong hands suddenly cupped his backside. A moment later Hiroki felt the solidity of the kitchen cupboards against his shoulders, the cold slick surface on the bare skin of his ass and his balls as Akihiko raised him up on the counter among Sato-san dishes.

Akihiko ran his large palms over Hiroki's thighs before pushing them apart, spreading them wide. He leaned his shaggy silver head in and began licking his way down from Hiroki's morning-stubbled jaw all the way to his cock.

"I think... I think I'm ready for my main course."

When it came to sucking cock, from the first, Akihiko's appetite for this choice bit of his lover had been insatiable, so it wasn't long before Hiroki had his head thrown back and was gasping from his friend's adamant oral attentions. He came quickly and hard, chest slick with sudden sweat, belly bucking.

His long fingers had wound into Akihiko thick silver mane, but Hiroki released his hold and tried to push the suckling mouth off him just before he spent himself. Akihiko, however, wouldn't have it; he latched himself to Hiroki's cock until the last drop had been ejected.

"Why do you always swallow, Akihiko? You know I don't expect it of you," Hiroki panted, his heart still pounding from his exertion.

Akihiko raised himself from where he'd been crouched between his lover's shivering thighs. His lavender eyes were earnest, his words softly spoken.

"Because I want to consume you, Hiroki."

Seeing that this made his friend uncomfortable Akihiko lightened his tone and added, "Besides, it's probably safer protein than my eggs over there."

"There is that," Hiroki sighed, slumping back against the cupboards. He peered through heavy-lidded eyes as Akihiko opened a drawer and pulled out a condom and a vial of lube from yet another one of their stashes.

He watched with an expression of sleepy appreciation as Akihiko pushed the loose band of his boxers down off narrow hips and skillfully sheathed his own erect cock. Sated from his recent orgasm, Hiroki had been rendered relatively docile. He allowed his silver-haired lover to wrap long arms around his waist once more, pull him off the counter, and set his now slipperless feet on the floor.

Akihiko then swept Sato's dishes off to the side; he turned Hiroki around and bent him over the counter.

Hiroki felt hands travel over the planes of his shoulders, slick down his spine, round the curve of his ass, and begin probing his hidden places. He felt the fabric of Akihiko's boxers slide down against the back of his thighs as they slipped off completely. The feel of this quickly roused his slumbering cock .

Lifting one of Hiroki's lean legs, Akihiko pushed it up, knee bent, onto the edge of the counter as well, opening his lover wide. A lube-glazed finger followed. It pressed in and then swept in and out, soon pulling tides of ecstatic pleasure from deep inside Hiroki. At last, Akihiko entered incredibly slowly until their soft sacs kissed.

The young author had one hand gripping his lover's hip, the other wrapped around the ankle of Hiroki's raised leg. He leaned over and placed a sucking bite on a tight shoulder.

"Say it," Akihiko teased as he began to slowly thrust his hips in a shallow motion. He felt the other youth tense briefly beneath him.

Hiroki knew immediately what Akihiko wanted.

"N-no… I'm … n-not… saying that… unghhh," Hiroki panted beneath his lover, absorbing the sensation of the slow gliding movements.

In one of their discussions the previous evening they had returned to the contents of Aikawa's cherished BL novel's page thirty-eight. Akihiko had eventually even gone as far as propose the insane notion that he might like to try and write one sometime.

"Why not?"

It infuriated Hiroki how composed Akihiko sounded. "B-because…. nnngh… it's f-fucking ridiculous!" he growled.

Hiroki's growl grew when Akihiko suddenly stopped moving, his innards were begging for the pulse and the friction of the cock inside him. "Akihiko… m-move your ass or get out…"

An audible snarl escaped Hiroki when it became apparent Akihiko had no intention of resuming until he was told what he wanted to hear. Akihiko gave an amused snort and fed his lover's earlier words back to him.

"You're awfully bossy for a bottom, Hiroki."

"Shut up asshole," Hiroki snapped, "and get up off me!" The way that he was positioned, he had little leverage and Akihiko's weight on top of him was pinning him.

Akihiko gave a sharp thrust that wrenched a heated cry from the man beneath him.

"Come on, Old Man… just say it…" Despite the harshness of his recent thrust, his tone was gentle."You really don't want me to pull out. Do you, Hiroki?"

Akihiko felt the body beneath his quiver as Hiroki battled with his pride. He drove his cock deep again to nudge Hiroki forward. Hiroki shifted as much as he could, pulling a bent arm from under his chest up to his mouth. He mumbled into the flesh of his wrist.

"I'm sorry, I really couldn't hear that." Akihiko started to move again; he gave a few teasing pulses and then pretended he might stop.

Hiroki pulled his arm away slightly, his words were harsh and low. "I said 'pummel me with your huge cock,' Akihiko!"

"Ah, yes, that's it Hiroki." Akihiko loved the sound of the words as they were spit from his lover's proud mouth. To reward Hiroki he picked up his pace. He used his cock to probe for the cadence that would move his lover the most. Within minutes of locating this rhythm, Hiroki began to moan in wanton pleasure.

"Say it again, Hiroki," Akihiko purred pushing deeper, quickening the snap of his hips.

Hiroki managed to slip one hand down to grasp his own weeping cock and begin stroking it as the tense tingle that had started deep within his sac began to boil up his throbbing shaft.

"Hrrrnghhhh, fuck, I'm going to come again, Akihiko."

"Say it!" Akihiko rasped as he thrust. He did not sound at all composed now. The hand around Hiroki's hip slipped up and wound itself through thick, sweat-dark, brown locks. Akihiko pulled Hiroki's head back.

Hiroki was so close… he felt Akihiko hesitate and knew that he just need a few more deep thrusts to push him over the edge.

"Pummel me with your huge cock, Akihiko!" Hiroki half moaned, half snarled loudly.

Akihiko did his best to comply.

Both men froze however when a sudden surprised shriek pierced the sanctuary of their sex.

Akihiko had called Aikawa when he'd first gotten up that morning to tell her he had finished the outline for his new novel. He had invited the editor to come and go over it with him. In the heat of the moment, however, he had forgotten this small but rather critical detail.

Both he and Hiroki had been so intent on their release, so lost in the sensations rolling over them, that neither had heard the front door open and Aikawa come in.

The young editor had been listening on her MP3 to a yaoi audio drama and so, had been unable to determine one set of sound effects from another until she'd unplugged herself. She'd stumbled into the kitchen just in time to hear Hiroki's exclamation and catch her author and his lover in _flagrante delicto_.

Aikawa dropped her briefcase and yelped. A new BL novel spilled out of her bag onto the polished floor of the kitchen.

"Good fuck!" Hiroki shouted and tried to push Akihiko up off him once more, but his lover wouldn't budge.

Aikawa turned beet red but found, for the life of her, she couldn't seem to tear her eyes away from the living sculpture of joined male beauty, of taut limbs and twisted torsos, before her.

Akihiko in his unflappable manner remarked calmly, "Ah, Hiroki, did I mention that I'd given Aikawa a key the other day and she was coming over this morning to collect my outline?"

Hiroki, pinned as he was, had at least managed to pull his head away from the tight grasp Akihiko had on his hair. He buried his head in the crook of his arm again. His whole body was flushed crimson and he was insanely aware that rather than wilt, the cock embedded in his ass had seemed instead to fill even more.

"Why no, you didn't, Akihiko," Hiroki breathed through his mortification.

Akihiko was impressed by the calmness of Hiroki's words but he imagined that he was going to pay very dearly for this moment later on.

"Ah, I'm so sorry, Sensei," Aikawa squeaked apologetically, but her eyes were bright and her voice dangerously breathy. "I thought you wanted me to come right away."

She blushed and dropped her eyes realizing her double entendre. "I mean, I can leave and come… I mean return later."

"Ah… there's no need, Aikawa-san, we're almost done here. Would you mind just giving me a few minutes to finish up?" Akihiko's tone was nonchalant. "Maybe you could listen to your earphones in the other room for a moment."

"Why don't you just invite her to breakfast while you're at it?" Hiroki barked in a harsh whisper. Akihiko's engorgement, tight inside him, had still not flagged in the least, but he could feel his own erection painfully diminishing.

"A splendid idea, Hiroki. How about it, Aikawa-san? Akihiko offered cheerfully. "I cooked this morning, you know."

Aikawa had bent to retrieve her dropped briefcase and book. She raised her eyes cautiously to the congealing lump her impaling author was nodding to on the stove. Backing out of the kitchen, bowing contritely, Aikawa murmured, "Ah so generous… Thank you, Sensei, but I ate on my way over."

As soon as they were alone in the kitchen Hiroki bucked up hard beneath Akihiko. "I am going to kill you!" Even in his rage however, he was not able to throw Akihiko off him.

Bony hips bucked back, and Akihiko leaned over. His mouth nipped the outer shell of his furious lover's ear. Hiroki bit down on his wrist to stifle his moan as the jolt of these sensations shot through him and quickly revived his wilting stalk.

"Ah, yes," Akihiko leaned over and whispered into Hiroki's hot ear. "_Le Petit Mort_ I believe they call it."

Out in the other room, Aikawa sat on the couch, without her headphones, listening to the stifled sounds emanating from the kitchen. She picked up the BL novel she'd left with Akihiko, watching as it fell open to her beloved page thirty-eight.

"I knew it," she murmured to herself, a satisfied grin on her lovely face.

* * *

><p><strong>Why am I so cruel? Because it is my nature… <strong>

**This whole chapter is a slight riff on various Misaki/Akihiko canon moments and Nowaki/Hiroki. Hope you enjoy and I look forward to your thoughts.**

**Wonderful reviews on the last few chapters many astute points made. I look forward to hearing more from you.**

**Oh... and after this we are getting out of sex mode and back into story. I know I perhaps lingered in lemon... but I must say... while I am an egoist through and through, and though I had tremendous feeling of trepidation when I first started this fic ... to be honest... I find this couple completely engaging and incredibly hot.**


	13. Chapter 13: Cooling

**On Another Path**

**Chapter Thirteen: Cooling**

* * *

><p>Soon after he resumed his motions, Akihiko came. He noticed prior to this, however, that Hiroki had left off touching himself. Akihiko remained sheathed within his lover even as he grabbed Hiroki's rigid member and stroked him to climax as well. Hiroki's furious grunts were muffled against his folded arm.<p>

Once they'd both reached release, Akihiko withdrew.

After he had stripped the condom off and disposed of it, Akihiko glanced over. Hiroki had re-donned his pants, recovered his now food-stained shirt, and was in the process of closing its buttons.

"That glimpse of us should keep Aikawa's BL heart in thrills for quite some time, ay, Old Man?" Akihiko lips quirked upwards as he leaned back against the counter. His grin faltered however, when Hiroki didn't immediately respond.

"I'm going to take a shower," Hiroki murmured quietly, refusing to meet his gaze. As soon as he'd finished the last of his buttons, Hiroki slid his feet back into his dislocated slippers and moved out of the kitchen.

Out in the main room, hearing Hiroki leave the kitchen, Aikawa looked up from the BL novel she was still holding. Her cheeks flushed pink and she felt a wave of shame wash over her when their eyes met.

Hiroki offered the barest of nods in greeting, but his eyes were dark and his mood equally stormy.

Aikawa dropped her head. Kamijou-san had been facing away from her, so she'd not seen his face when she'd caught the couple together. It was obvious from his expression, however, that he had not taken to the situation with the same nonchalance as her author.

The young woman suddenly felt convicted for lingering rather than ducking away from the vision she'd encountered. Struggling to come up with a suitable apology, Aikiwa looked up again, but Kamijou-san had already disappeared down the hall.

In the kitchen, Akihiko pulled his boxers back on and lit another cigarette to ease his discomfort. He'd expected Hiroki to explode at him for what had just happened, not grow quiet. He left the kitchen and went in to the bedroom to throw on enough clothes to be presentable. On his way he noticed Aikawa studiously pouring over the outline he'd set out.

She glanced up as he passed but then dropped her gaze back down quickly. The young woman's expression had been decidedly guilty from the uncomfortable blush on her cheeks. Akihiko wondered if Hiroki had addressed her on his way to the shower.

As he was dressing, Akihiko heard the water run in the bathroom. He wondered if he should go in and try to talk to Hiroki and then decided against it.

_If Hiroki is truly upset, it will be better to give him the chance to cool down first, before trying to talk to him._

Once dressed, Akihiko joined Aikawa in the front room. He sat down on the couch next to her. Without looking up from the document she was reading, Aikawa offered softly, "I'm sorry about earlier, Sensei. I didn't expect you to be… um… _engaged _when I arrived."

"Nothing to be sorry about, Aikawa-san." Akihiko reached for the half empty pack of cigarettes on the table, knowing as he did so, the fact he was already lighting up again indicated that on some level he didn't really believe this.

"Is Kamijou-san okay?" Aikawa asked hesitantly, lifting her eyes from the document for the briefest of moments.

Akihiko had been in the process of raising the lighter to his cigarette. He stopped and set it back on the table. "He's fine. Why? Did he say something to you on his way through?"

"Ummmm, no…" Aikawa was looking perhaps a bit too intently on the papers in her hand. "He just seemed a bit distressed… Understandably so," A new blush rose to her cheeks.

Akihiko thought a moment about this. Then he leaned over and picked up his lighter again and lit his cigarette. As he exhaled his first new puff he asked, purposely shifting the focus of the conversation, "So, what did you think about the transition I was proposing at the one third mark?"

Aikawa understood and gratefully slipped back into professional mode. For the next forty-five minutes editor and author sat there quietly, re-reading and discussing the outline. At the end of this time they had reached an impasse about a plot point close to the end of the story.

"Yes, I wrote that in this morning." Akihiko ran his fingers through his thick, silvered hair. "I wasn't entirely resolved about it myself, but maybe once Hiroki rejoins us we can ask him what he thinks."

Aikawa's tone was as uncomfortable as her eyes. "But Sensei, Kamijou-san left..." Akihiko gave her a puzzled expression.

"I saw him leave while you were reading, about twenty minutes ago."

Upon receiving this bit of information, Akihiko looked at Aikawa with disbelief.

He pushed himself up off the couch, and went down the hall. Bathroom, bedroom, study… there was no sign of Hiroki. Then he went to the entry and saw that what Aikawa had said was indeed true: Hiroki's bag, coat and shoes were all absent.

He as he turned to head back into the front room he almost collided with Aikawa.

She held the outline in one hand and her briefcase in another. She offered tactfully, "Erm, Sensei, I'm sure there's enough here to satisfy the director. So, why don't you take another day or so to see if you can't get that last point worked out and then get back to me."

Akihiko said nothing; he just nodded. He watched as his still-flustered editor pulled on her shoes and slipped out the door.

Once his editor was gone, Akihiko went over to the coffee table and picked up his cell phone from where it had been lying on the polished wood surface. As he punched in Hiroki's contact and waited to see if his lover would answer, he picked up the BL novel Aikawa had once again left behind.

He blinked when he realized that Aikawa had left the key he'd given her to his apartment underneath the book.

Akihiko released a deep sigh and set the paperback down. "Hiroki, call me," he said, when at last the literature student's voice mail picked up.

Flipping his phone shut, Akihiko picked up his pack of cigarettes and his lighter. He made an uneasy circuit of his silent apartment and ended up in the kitchen.

Leaning back against the counter, Akihiko lit up. Through the haze of his smoke he saw the disaster around the stove, and disarray of Sato-san's dishes on the opposite counter.

He rubbed his forehead as he surveyed the scene.

_It appears I made a much worse mess of things this morning then I'd originally thought._

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><p><strong>Thank you all so much for the reviews...<strong>


	14. Chapter 14: Bruised

**On Another Path**

**Chapter Fourteen: Bruised**

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><p>Hiroki stepped out of the cab. He rarely used taxi services, as it was expensive and he preferred to save his funds for the acquisition of texts. And this was just what he had been doing pretty much all day. He'd spent hours floating from used bookstore to used bookstore, until by the time he was through with his rounds, he was so weighted down with bags he knew it would be all but impossible to navigate any form of public transit.<p>

As he had been searching, Hiroki had tried to still the whirlwind churning in his mind. Even now, just thinking about the events of the morning brought a humiliated flush to his cheeks.

_God damn you, Akihiko._

Hiroki set his bags down on the curb and took out his phone. He turned it on for the first time since leaving Akihiko's apartment. The literature student was sadly pleased to see that there were twenty-six missed calls from Akihiko.

_Good. So at least the ass knows I'm pissed,_ Hiroki thought. But in truth this was not all he was: his pride had been deeply, gravely, wounded.

After closing his phone, Hiroki put it back into his pocket. He took his jacket off, draped it over his arm, and picked up his bags, readying himself for the trip up the stairs to his apartment.

He would have taken the elevator, but by using the stairs he would be able to look down the walk to his doorway without being visible. This way, unlike the elevator, if Akihiko happened to be waiting outside his door again, he would be able to just turn around and leave without causing a scene.

As Hiroki climbed, his apprehension mounted. He had been thinking all day about what he might say to Akihiko if he saw him. Still, despite all his ruminations, the carefully planned conversations he'd carried on with himself, he was fearful.

He did not trust his own heart at this point… his love had made him weak. Lost in this musing he moved onto the last landing on his way to his floor, his body on automatic pilot.

A motion in front of Hiroki caught his eyes and pulled them back outwards. Looking up he was startled to see Akihiko waiting for him at the top of the stairs rather than at his apartment door and from the number of butts on the ground he had obviously been here, waiting, for quite some time.

Apparently, in some areas at least, Akihiko did seem to have a clear understanding of his friend.

The young author's expression was grave. Seeing this, despite his resolution, Hiroki's love for Akihiko tore at his heart. As it was, it had always been his best friend's deep pain, as well as his brilliance that had drawn Hiroki to Akihiko.

He recalled vowing to himself, when they were younger, that he would protect Usami Akihiko from any external force that might rise up against him. What he hadn't counted on, again, in his egotistical innocence, was that the biggest thing he actually needed to protect his beloved from was Akihiko himself.

Sensing his foolish heart weakening made Hiroki angry and he used this fury to shore up his defenses. He dropped his eyes and continued to move up the stairs, pushing past.

"Why haven't you been answering your phone? I was worried," Akihiko's soft voice behind him was as effective as a hand on his shoulder, physically stopping his ascent.

"I was busy," Hiroki muttered not moving, but not looking back either.

"Hiroki," in the utterance of his name Akihiko's tone offered a dozen different apologies.

Hiroki bent his head as though he could dodge the impact of his lover's voice.

He felt his fists tighten around the handles of the bags he was carrying. Damning himself, he felt his hands wanting to drop them, to take Akihiko's face between them. He wished to kiss him, to suck any memory of his name out of Akihiko's mouth because as long as Akihiko was able to say it, Hiroki knew he was lost.

"Honestly, Old Man, I really didn't think she would get there that early…" Akihiko sounded incredibly earnest.

Hiroki said nothing, he just shook his head. That small motion gave him the momentum to get his body going again.

Akihiko reached out physically this time, actually laying one of his hands Hiroki's shoulder.

"How would you have liked me to react, Hiroki? Mincing away, acting embarrassed, acting like I was ashamed of what we are? Of what we were doing?"

Hiroki shook Akihiko's hand off and continued climbing. He shouldered his way through the door and out onto the landing. Before this moment, the distance from there to his own door had never seemed so vast.

Akihiko reached for him again, but this time Hiroki whirled around to face him.

"You think I am ashamed of what I am or what we were doing, Akihiko?" Hiroki's normally fiery gaze had darkened wine-red with his anger. "I, who have so much more honestly owned myself in that way than you ever have?" Hiroki's rough voice was rendered almost hoarse with the strain of containing his emotion.

"Even as debauched as you may have found my past behavior, I would have never done something so sordid!"

Hiroki's eyes dropped as did his voice. "What we were engaged in was meant to be a private act between two people, not a scenario acted out for the titillation of some third party.

"If that's what you want, then I suggest you start writing some of those fuck books your editor reads, but don't involve me in trying to act out you pair's fantasies!"

"Hiroki," Akihiko voice was soothingly tender, trying to call his friend back to him, but Hiroki wouldn't have it.

"And then that you continued… While she sat there in the next room!" Hiroki snarled, trying desperately to keep the tremor in his core from manifesting in his limbs.

"Wait a minute, Hiroki! I don't recall you really resisting," Akihiko voice growled, suddenly stern. He was fighting against the awful implications of what his lover and best friend was saying.

"You knew from before I had no leverage in that situation!" Hiroki spat. "Would you have liked me to have struggled, Akihiko? To have made a pitiful scene?" He raised his fury-dark eyes to meet a shocked lavender gaze.

"I understand why you did it, but…"

Akihiko eyes widened at these words, but Hiroki could see that the man still fully didn't comprehend what he was telling him.

Despite his anger, Akihiko's innocent ignorance made Hiroki's traitorous heart ache. He was amazed yet again at how the author could see so many things so clearly and still remain so blind to others.

"How long I have I been with you, Akihiko?" Hiroki asked his voice softening.

"Since that first day in our secret place," Akihiko whispered hesitantly, thrown off by the sudden shift in his lover's manner.

"Do you really think then, that after all this time, I don't know you?" Hiroki's low voice was laced with sorrow.

Akihiko stayed silent, his eyes searching as he waited for Hiroki to continue.

"Yesterday, the exchanges we made, the way you let me in with your body and your words…

"I understand how that would leave you feeling off balance, why you would feel the need to reassert yourself.

"And that talk last night of your mother…

"Akihiko, you told me before how it was for you to come upon her with her lovers. How it seemed at times like she was daring you to catch her. How proudly she flaunted her trysts in front of you."

Hiroki shook his head yet again, his neck ached and his arms had long grown tired from the weight of the books he was carrying, but he didn't dare set them down.

Seeing the stunned realization of the words he'd just said, the excruciating awareness dawning on Akihiko's face, Hiroki knew that if he laid down these burdens he would be moved to pick another one back up. He would embrace Akihiko and he couldn't bear that.

_Not now. Not yet._

"How can you be so brilliant and so simultaneously stupid?" Hiroki's gruff voice was both tender and chiding, "You act like you're invincible, but you don't realize all the chinks you have in your armor. How clearly others see them."

Akihiko's normally stoic face crumbled at Hiroki's words. His brow furrowed as he turned away, struggling with the epiphanies that had just been forced upon him.

Hiroki turned and started to move rapidly down the walk to his door. He was vigilantly fighting to keep the tears that threatened his eyes from falling. He had not shed them back at the Akihiko's apartment. He would not shed them here either.

"Hiroki!" Akihiko called after him loudly, though he was not far behind.

The literature student did not look back but kept moving. It only took a few moments however for Akihiko's long legs to catch up.

"Hiroki…" Akihiko entreated, begging his best friend to look at him.

Hiroki refused.

_I have already been too soft, said too much. I just need to keep it together until I get inside_.

"Hiroki!" Akihiko grabbed Hiroki and slammed him back into the wall of the building just outside his apartment door.

"We're not finished here yet! I am not simply letting you walk away after what you just said!" Akihiko placed his hands on either side of Hiroki trapping him between them.

Hiroki fingers cried with relief as this jarring motion caused his overburdened bags to tear, sending books tumbling to the floor of the landing.

He turned sideways against the wall, trying to shield himself from the powerful emotion radiating from Akihiko. It was as if Akihiko was the moon pulling the tides of his heart irreversibly towards him no matter how he tried to resist.

"I love you Hiroki! I am not going to just leave things like this," Akihiko said roughly.

"Stop yelling you stupid ass, I live here!" Hiroki shouted back.

As if to underscore this, both men turned: a door opened a few spaces down and an older woman with a very disapproving face peered out at them.

Her interruption gave Hiroki a chance to escape.

Akihiko withdrew his arms. Both youths gave a short bow of apology to the woman. She sniffed and haughtily withdrew, closing her door firmly behind her.

Hiroki bent down and began picking up his books.

Akihiko knelt to assist him.

"I used to watch you with Takahiro you know," Hiroki muttered softly, keeping his focus on his books. "You would have never done anything he didn't like. You treated him like something precious…"

Hiroki's eyes glanced up and met, once again, a shocked, lavender gaze.

"I am not a toy, Akihiko…"

"Hiroki…" Akihiko started to say something but was cut off by his own gasped breath. He had reached out and grasped Hiroki's wrist. It was then that he'd seen it.

Hiroki's folded coat he'd had draped over his arm had slipped to the ground as he'd picked up his books. He was wearing a short sleeved dress shirt. It was the only clean one he'd had left at Akihiko's that morning.

Akihiko saw clearly the deep purple bruise on his lover's forearm where Hiroki had bitten himself to keep from crying out after Aikawa had caught them that morning.

This more than anything Hiroki had said shattered him. His pale eyes filled with tears.

"Hiroki," Akihiko whispered brokenly.

Hiroki followed the gaze to the mark he'd made. He blushed furiously and forgot completely about his books. He stood quickly trying to pull his arm out of Akihiko's iron grasp as he fumbled for his apartment key in his pocket with his free hand.

Akihiko, still kneeling, refused to relinquish his arm.

Glancing back Hiroki's eyes widened, he had never seen such a look of pain.

He growled with embarrassment, and finally pulled his hand free. He opened the door and slipped in shutting it behind him. Then Hiroki collapsed back against the door, sliding down into a devastated heap at its base.

"Hiroki… do you hate me now?" Akihiko entreated from the other side of the door.

Hiroki knew Akihiko still had the key to his apartment. He pressed back against the door, praying that Akihiko didn't try to use it because as much as his answer should have been "yes," it was "no" and he knew that it would never be differently.

But if he saw Akihiko again in this instant, as he was, it would kill what little pride he had remaining.

_And then where will I be?_

"Please, Hiroki," Akihiko's voice was pleading. "Open the door and come back out, we need to talk about this more… "

In response, with shaking hands, Hiroki took Akihiko's key off his ring and slid it under the door.

He could hear Akihiko on the other side. Hiroki heard him strike the wood with his palms in frustration and could tell from the height of the vibrations that Akihiko was still kneeling. He could hear the gasping pants through the thin cheap door of his dwelling.

"Ah… Hiroki… I'm… I'm so sorry." Akihiko was crying.

Hiroki bit down again on his already bruised flesh to muffle his own sobs.

Akihiko continued to linger outside the door for what seemed an eternity.

_Just please, hurry up and leave. _

Every moment that Akihiko stayed drew the arm not clenched in Hiroki's teeth up further. Far too soon, his long fingers were wrapped around the knob, tensed to turn it.

Finally, Hiroki heard Akihiko rise. He felt a soft "thunk" overhead and had no difficulty reading it as Akihiko's forehead now pressed against his door as he stood on the other side.

"I understand, Hiroki," Akihiko's voice was exceedingly gentle, which just cut Hiroki deeper. "I understand… It's my turn to wait now."

"I will wait Hiroki, for as long as it takes… I promise."

Hiroki heard his friend leave at last. He released his jaws from his flesh with a deep, rasping gasp, drew his knees up to his chest, and wrapped his head in his undamaged arm.

His body trembled. Unconsciously rocking as he sat there, Hiroki could feel the blood welling in the wounds made by his teeth.

All the little punctures now released from the crushing pressure began redly weeping. The rest of Hiroki quickly followed.

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><p><strong>Can you tell that I am completely captured by this pair? It feels so dangerous and so traitorous to my egoist love... but the charge and the passion of two creative intellectuals... as exciting as their hard flesh and the growling...<strong>

**Thank you to all my dedicated and wonderful reviewers and to those following and favoriting Novelist Love.**


	15. Chapter 15: Bittersweet

**On Another Path**

**Chapter Fifteen: Bitter Sweet**

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><p>The characters of the text swirled before his eyes. They refused to make sense.<p>

_Nothing makes sense these days though._

Hiroki sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.

It had been almost two weeks since he had last seen Akihiko. An exhausted Hiroki looked down at his arm where behind the gauze patch he'd taped there, the mark he'd made was now significantly faded. He only wished all of his wounds healed so quickly.

Hiroki shook his head slowly, trying not to aggravate the throbbing headache that had been building behind his eyes.

_Two weeks._

Two weeks of being barely able to function: unable to eat, to sleep, his coursework was suffering. Hiroki carefully rolled the scroll up that he had been reading. He set it down and picked up his cell phone off the low table he was sitting at. He opened it and checked.

_No messages._

The first week following his withdrawal from Akihiko, the author had sent numerous texts, left dozens of voice mails, despite his declaration of patience. Then over the last few days, the number had gradually dwindled and died.

Hiroki knew he should have felt relieved by this development, but all he'd really felt was more anguish.

A grim smile curled the corners of his mouth; waiting never had been Akihiko's strong suit.

On his part, however, Hiroki had remained silent throughout.

Truly silent.

In fact, for the first three days following their confrontation the he hadn't uttered a single word. He had somehow managed all his exchanges in classes or out in the world with only a nod or a gesture.

Hiroki knew he was not a man of many words to begin with.

_Out loud anyways._

This was part of the reason for his voracious consumption of literature: he had to devour literally hundreds of words to find the energy to be able to birth even one of his own into the space that existed outside the tent of his flesh. And he had pulled far too many from himself in his last conversation with Akihiko, spoken so plainly it had stripped him of all his reserves.

Beyond this, however, he also hadn't trusted himself to speak again right away.

After his humiliating collapse at the door, Hiroki had been fearful that if he had tried, that, what would have come out instead of something intelligible would have been another barking sob or a coarse cry.

In all of the years he had spent waiting for Akihiko, Hiroki had never felt so precarious.

A soft tap at the door of the apartment roused the literature student from his thoughts. Hearing it Hiroki's heart stopped, he waited, not daring to breathe. After a few minutes, the gentle rapping sounded again and this time Hiroki cursed himself for being stupid.

_Akihiko isn't going to come and even if he did, he would never knock like that._

Hiroki pulled himself to his feet and made his way blearily towards the noise. His tired eyes felt sandpapery.

He was about to open the door it when a thought struck him. Just to be on the safe side he grabbed a sweater off the hooks in the entry and pulled it on so that his bare arms were covered.

Looking through the peephole viewer, a heavy sigh escaped him.

It wasn't Akihiko but it wasn't much better: it was Aikawa and her expression was determined.

Stepping back, Hiroki rested his forehead against the door. A moment after he did this, another knock sounded, startling him.

Donning what he hoped was a rather imperious scowl he cracked the door.

"Ah Kamijou-san," Aikawa smiled brightly sounding far more cheerful than she felt. "I am so glad you're home."

Against his better judgment, Hiroki opened the door wider and found himself immediately regretting it.

"That's quite the face you have there, Kamijou-san," Aikawa observed, her smile still bright.

The woman's straightforward ways which he'd initially found rather charming and that made her such a good editor were suddenly very irksome. The already severe furrow in Hiroki's brow deepened.

"Please spare me the editorial commentary, Aikawa-san." The roughness of Hiroki's unused voice rendered his words ragged.

He saw Aikawa's smile flicker at his tone. Despite the anger he still had towards her, he found his unfaithful heart flinching at the discomfort he'd just caused.

Hiroki looked away."Things haven't been going so well with my thesis."

At this Aikawa nodded her head thoughtfully. "I understand how busy you are, Kamijou-san, and I apologize for intruding, but I brought you some things." She held out a decorative bag and a white box.

"And I wondered if I might be able to speak with you. I promise I won't take up much of your time."

Hiroki regarded the editor for a moment. Her face was open and her expression earnest. A slight breeze on the walkway stirred and Hiroki caught a whiff of cigarette smoke mixed with the light scent Aikawa wore.

He knew Aikawa herself didn't smoke, so the lingering trace must have been caught in her clothing. He found himself wondering if she had been at Akihiko's flat before coming to his apartment.

His heart ached at the thought.

There was a part of himself that Hiroki despised, that just wanted to close the door on Aikawa and go crawl into his futon… or possibly under it. Another part of himself, which he found equally distressing wanted to let her in, to be in her presence merely for the possibility of her having been in recent proximity to Akihiko.

The literature student felt himself stepping back from the door. "Do you want to come in?"

Seeing the relief that lit up the pretty woman's face, Hiroki felt compelled to inform her, "I haven't been sleeping lately. Not sleeping makes me irascible, so don't push your luck." It was the longest string of spoken words he had assembled for days.

Aikawa nodded in both acknowledgment and appreciation of the warning as she stepped in and slipped out of her shoes. She'd seen his shadow behind the peephole and was surprised, actually, that he had even opened the door to her after what had happened.

Her author had said very little about what had transpired between the two men in the conversations she'd had with him since Kamijou-san had left. For Aikawa, however, Akihiko's silence was as telling as anything he'd said.

Aikawa had been at Usami-sensei's place just prior to her arrival at Kamijou-san's, in fact, and the author didn't look any better than the man standing in front of her. Nor had Usami's work been progressing particularly well either.

This was one of the reason's she was here now.

The editor had come to apologize to Kamijou-san, to relieve her own conscience for her participation in "the incident," as Usami had taken to calling it.

But also, the sharp businesswoman in her knew, she needed to do whatever it took to get the two lovers back together so her author would get his ass in gear and catch up to the deadlines he'd recently been unable/unwilling to keep. Otherwise, soon, they would both find themselves dropped by Marukawa.

Following Hiroki inside his apartment, Aikawa glanced around. her keen eyes took in everything.

She was surprised by Kamijou-san''s dwelling. She had learned in the weeks she'd spent working with Akihiko that the men had been friends for years and practically neighbors, as well as lovers. She'd expected then, given the couple had come from similar stations, that their lifestyles would be comparable as well.

But Hiroki's abode was nothing like Akihiko's spacious flat. It was really just low-grade, poor, student-housing and in a neighborhood that was not that great either.

Kamijou-san didn't really even have much furniture, or if he did, it was perhaps rendered invisible, buried beneath stacks of tomes and scrolls.

Outside of the veritable piles of texts, all Aikawa could see in the cramped main room was a small worn sofa and a low table which she imagined, looking at Kamijou-san's even leaner frame today, probably served more often as a station for study than for meals.

"Tea?" Hiroki asked moving into his book-covered kitchen. His words roused the editor from her acute observations.

"Pardon, Kamijou-san?"

Hiroki, rather than waste another word, just lifted his brow and the kettle in his hand at the same time.

"Ah… I don't know that I will be here so long that you should go to the trouble," Aikawa replied hesitantly. Hiroki just continued to stare at her. Aikawa gave him a professional smile in return.

"But if you were going to make some for yourself anyway, Kamijou-san... Yes, that would be lovely."

Hiroki nodded at this and filled the kettle.

Once Kamijou-san's hands were free again, Aikawa stepped into the kitchen. "Here, I brought these for you" She held out her offerings.

Hiroki took the gifts cautiously. He set the white box on the counter and opened it. Inside were a number of beautiful sweets.

"I got them from a new bakery. It's very popular and their pastries are supposed to be wonderful!" Aikawa said this a bit too enthusiastically.

She had become aware that both Akihiko and Hiroki had a tendency to be rather terse when they were around each other. However, the silence that the two men often shared had always struck her as rather loud. Apart… their "quiet-quiet" was more than a bit disconcerting.

"Lovely," Hiroki hummed politely, although he was not particularly fond of sweets."Thank you, Aikawa-san."

"Ah, no, Kamijou-san, I should be thanking you for being such a gracious host, and taking the time to see me when you are so busy and I have come by unexpectedly."

Hiroki closed the box carefully and then peered into the colorfully patterned bag. A look of perplexity formed on his worn but handsome face. He reached in and pulled out what was in it.

Turning it over in his hands he looked at Aikawa questioningly.

"Uh… Usami-sensei sent that with me for you… It's a sleep mask.

"He was worried that you might not be sleeping well. And based on what you told me at the door it seems he was right to be concerned."

Aikawa's sharp eyes gauged Hiroki's reaction to her words.

Kamijou-san started at the mention of his lover's name when she'd spoken it. She'd noticed however, that his dark eyes softened as he looked at the mask for just a few moments longer before gently placing it back in the sack.

Aikawa held her breath, waiting to see if Hiroki would reject it.

Instead, he left the gifts and wandered over to the other side of the cramped kitchen to open a cupboard and take down two ceramic cups.

More than anything Hiroki wanted to ask how Akihiko was, how he looked, sounded, and acted, but instead he remained silent. He didn't wish himself to be swayed by either Aikawa or Akihiko's generosity.

He brought the mugs back over towards the editor and set them down on the counter.

"You wanted to talk," Hiroki'sthe words posed as a statement of fact and not a question. His eyes widened when Aikawa adopted a deep bow and held it.

"I wanted to apologize for my terrible behavior the other day, Kamijou-san.

"I fear I conducted myself very unprofessionally and I am truly, deeply sorry for offending you." The young auburn-haired woman did her best to make her tone pleasingly contrite.

Aikawa hesitantly raised her head when she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder, pulling her up. She looked into pained eyes and saw that Kamijou-san was blushing fiercely.

Once Aikawa straightened herself, Hiroki turned back to the kettle which had just started to whistle.

The editor watched the way Hiroki measured the tea into the screened strainer and poured the steaming water through it, over the mugs. Each motion was meticulous and measured.

"Will you please accept my humble apology, Kamijou-san?"

"No need to," Hiroki handed the editor her hot cup of tea."Akihiko called you and you came. You had no idea what you were walking into."

"Ah… yes that's true, but I lingered," Aikawa blushed as she admitted this. She would much rather have Kamijou-san mad at her if it would dispel some of his anger towards her author.

Hiroki wrapped his own hands around the mug still sitting on the counter and turned it around between them thoughtfully. "Well, I suppose you may have felt compelled to stay. Akihiko was being so conversational."

"Please, Kamijou-san…" Aikawa practically pleaded. "Will you accept my apology anyway?" She waited anxiously him to respond.

The silken strand of Hiroki's silence stretched out tautly between them.

"Okay," Hiroki said softly clasping his mug between his two hands and raising it to his lips.

"Okay?" Aikawa breathed happily.

"Yes," Hiroki confirmed after taking a small sip of his tea. Then he turned and looked at Aikawa over his mug, his dark stare intense. "Anything else?"

"Ummm yes…"

"Really?" Hiroki cocked a brow curiously at the young woman. He nodded over the clear space on his otherwise text laden couch and sighed. "Would you like to sit down?"

Aikawa took her tea and went and perched on the couch. Hiroki took his and resumed his previous place on the floor at the low table. He sat there waiting patiently for Aikawa to speak.

"Ah, I need to ask you a favor, Kamijou-san," Aikawa's words were hesitant.

Hiroki looked at her with both brows raised now, his expression was almost amused. "That was fast, Aikawa-san." He dropped his gaze down, into his teacup.

Aikawa looked flustered."What?"

"Well, just a moment ago you were asking for forgiveness, now you're asking for a favor." Hiroki's tone was mild but he'd raised his eyes again now and was regarding Aikawa suspiciously.

Aikawa took a nervous sip of her tea and sighed. "I know…"

She dropped her gaze. "Kamijou-san please know, I would have apologized regardless. I am already indebted to you for so graciously accepting my poor apology… But, to be honest, I'm desperate."

She looked back up at Hiroki who continued to sit there wordlessly drinking his tea.

"Usami-sensei hasn't written a word since you left.

"He says he can't write, that he's 'lost his muse' or something like that… He won't finish his outline and while his first novel is amazing…

"You know it's being released next week…" Aikawa added this, seeing the spark that mentioning Usami's writing brought into the young man's eyes though Kamijou-san's position and his expression didn't alter.

"Anyway…" she rushed on, "The director is getting very angry that Usami-sensei is falling behind… talking about 'young upstart artists who are more trouble than they are worth' and incompetent editors."

Hiroki looked up sharply at these words. "Your director is a fool then, Akihiko is a genius and is going to be one of the best novelists in Japan."

Aikawa blushed and dropped her eyes. "Usami Sensei is my first author you know, Kamijou-san.

"Perhaps I am incompetent… I certainly can't manage him as well yet as some I am acquainted with…" Aikawa looked back up significantly at Hiroki.

"I agree with your designation of his potential,Kamijou-san.

"And I would say I was his number one fan after reading that first piece of his… But I know that distinction belongs to someone else."

At these words it was Hiroki who dropped his eyes and blushed.

Aikawa tried hard here to keep her voice from sounding sly. "I think someone with Usami-sensei's gift has a responsibility to share his talents. I would hate to see him lose this opportunity to do so… because I'm not clever enough to get him to meet his deadlines."

Hiroki snorted, "You don't need to be clever; you just need to kick his ass!"

He raised his fiery eyes to meet Aikawa's large grey ones. "Though you seem plenty clever to me, Aikawa-san."

These words drew a new blush from Aikawa.

Hiroki looked pensively down at the books and scrolls littering the surface of his table. "So, what's any of this to do with me?" He growled.

"He needs you Kamijou-san," Aikawa said in a rush.

"He's a complete wreck, totally hopeless without you…And he listens to you intently… even when he pretends not to… I need you to talk to him. For you two to resolve whatever _this_ is so that he'll start writing again."

Hiroki looked thoughtful. He took a final sip from his cup.

Across from him the young editor watched him closely. _Men can be so obtuse and stubborn at times._

Of course Aikawa knew she could kick Akihiko's ass and that eventually he'd get his shit together. She had every confidence in her abilities, but the truth was her sensei needed Kamijou-san and seeing the troubled young man seated before her she knew that he needed Usami just as much.

And Usami-sensei was much easier to manage when his lover was around. So, giving up a bit of her own pride had seemed a small price to pay, given what Kamijou-san had already endured, if it would get the pair back together.

Aikawa had hoped that with her apology and by putting herself in Hiroki's debt that this would restore the literature student's face enough to start moving the couple towards reconciliation. Though her sense was now that what happened with "the incident" had really just been a trigger from much deeper issues with both.

She continued to watch as Kamijou-san stood up and took his empty cup into the kitchen. Aikawa observed him rub his forehead after he set his mug in the sink.

Hiroki turned. "Are you done Aikawa-san?"

The editor was unsure if Kamijou-san was asking her about her tea or her request and then realized the young man meant both.

She stood and brought her tea cup into the tiny kitchen. She handed it to Kamijou-san, who took it gently from her and set it down in the sink next to his own.

"I probably should be going... I have an appointment soon. Please consider what I have said," Aikawa entreated.

Hiroki's gaze remained focused on the mugs in his sink. He rubbed his forehead again. Then he dropped his hand and gave Aikawa cryptic nod.

"Let me walk you to the door, Aikawa-san." He saw the young editor through to his entry.

"Thank you again for the tea and the time, Kamijou-san," Aikawa offered before she turned to go. She gave a polite bow after she'd re-shod herself. Hiroki returned the gesture and nodded.

Hiroki watched the young woman leave. His gaze followed her down the walkway until she'd stepped into the elevator and the door had closed behind her.

Then he looked down at the ground outside the entry, remembering that when he'd opened the door for the first time after Akihiko had left, how Akihiko had neatly stacked all of his fallen books outside the door. Akihiko had also carefully folded his dropped coat and set it on top of his texts.

Hiroki stepped back into the apartment. He turned and looked at these same stacks that now occupied his low table.

Unlike him, he hadn't cracked open a single one of the books since he'd brought them in: he couldn't bring himself to alter Akihiko's arrangement.

Hiroki leaned back against the door and sighed. He unconsciously massaged his increasingly throbbing temples again.

He thought about what Aikawa had said.

Tiredly he pushed himself away from the door. Then he paused to push the sleeves of the sweater he was wearing up off his forearms. The gauze covering his wound snagged on the knit as it slid up.

Hiroki contemplated the wrap. He took a corner of the tape between slender fingers and pulled up, grimacing only slightly as the adhesive pulled the fine hairs of his arm.

The bruised flesh was a pale yellow now; the scabs where his teeth had pierced his flesh were tiny.

Hiroki carried the bandage into kitchen and threw it in the trashcan. He carefully rinsed the teacups and set them on the drainboard to dry, put the tea away and the kettle back in its rightful place. Then he leaned against the counter and stared at the things Aikawa had left with him.

He moved over and reopened the white box. After a moment he drug a long finger across the iced surface of one of the sweets, leaving a thin scar behind.

Lifting this finger to his lips, Hiroki extended his tongue and licked it. He grimaced at the sweetness and found himself wondering if he could ever get accustomed to the taste: he was so much more used to the bitter.

carefully, Hiroki closed the box again and then after. another internal battle, reached into the bag beside it and brought out the sleep mask Akihiko had sent.

He carried this with him into his book-strewn bedroom and crawled into his unmade futon. Hesitantly he pulled the strap out and slid it over his wild, dark head. As he pulled the eyeshade down, his world was wrapped in darkness.

When he was younger, Hiroki had been afraid of the dark. But today, now, it was comforting. As was the light scent of lavender the mask carried, and beneath this… even more comforting still… a trace of cigarettes.

Hiroki pulled the covers up around his shoulders.. The soft fabric of his blinder dammed the tears that had risen unbidden to the surface of his eyes.

Sleep overtook him quickly and deeply for the first time in days, so rapidly, in fact, his tears remained unshed.

Within moments his breathing slowed and deepened.

Soon he was dreaming.

Amidst the other soft sounds of his sleep, a deep sigh escaped Hiroki's slender, sleeping frame. The breath carried a name:

"Akihiko."

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><p><strong>So thank you all for the amazing response to the last chapter. I have to say when I wrote it I felt as though it sang. I get the same feeling in the studio at times. Maybe I make a dozen pieces and then there is one that just "pops." The lines are just right, the piece works in a way that is subtly harmonious… everything just feels really good… the feeling is almost transcendent. That is how that last chapter felt to me… so pleasing… I can't even put into words what makes it so. But I think all your responses confirm my intuition about this.<strong>

**Thanks to those of you picking out the canon parts in each chapter. That pleases me immensely.**

**I am including the old AN from this chapter. I have been leaving them off more in my revision, but it seemed we had a good discussion going and so I am leaving this one on.**

**See you next chapter.**

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><p><strong>OLD AN<strong>

**Kristin from Italy- how are you today darling? So sorry to hear about all your troubles. My heart is with you and I hope you do not have to leave your home. Please keep me posted and let me know when you have figured out what you would like for your thousand words. Maybe Shinobu and Miyagi and a shared wine kiss, sweetheart? What praise... I am unworthy. Still, I am delighted that the last chapter moved you so deeply. There are some elements of autobiography in that chapter and I am so glad that you appreciated the more realistic elements to the chapter. Did you know that observable homosexual behavior and same sex pairing can be found in most animal species outside of just the human animal? Google the slow sex movement princess. I read it was big in Italy… Sweet kisses to your weary forehead.**

**TC1877- Thank you so much for the PM but I think a bit of the message was dropped. My thoughts are with you and I look forward to your further thoughts as you're able. I will PM you more later.**

**Junjou-Hatsukoi- Thank you for the feedback. I will keep writing and perhaps entice you into one of those longer reviews at some point… Yes?**

**X- another brilliant analysis. I have a hard time trying to keep ahead of you. Your thoughts about why Hiroki didn't resist were right on target and so wonderfully articulated. Seriously, I was unresolved about it, knowing only instinctually on the surface the reason… but you revealed the deeper truth of it to me. That is why I appreciate your reviews so much. You do know that Hiroki's words about the armor are the very words Miyagi says to him in the scene just before he tries to kiss him? At least according to the JR translation I have. The repeated use of Hiroki's name referring back to how this whole story started is significant and Akihiko's kneeling too. And your interpretation of the books was profound. Again, the writing of it was intuitive, but you reveal my hidden motives to me. Thank you for the PM and pointing out my typo. I have corrected it. **

**Maggie Mae- Thank you so much for the PM and your lemon analysis. I love it that my fangirls know what they like. You did a beautiful job and thank you so much for taking the time to give this poor author fodder for future chapters.**

**IAMLEGEND- what an amazing long review from you and to be honest, sex is great but I love a good fight too. Ah the drama… continues. I will be anxious to hear your further thoughts.**

**Booboobitxch666- What an amazing review from you too and what a compliment. Please do write our revered JR creator. I would be curious as to what she would make of it… Just don't tell her about Neko-Hiro okay. Your comments on Hiroki's façade and insecurity were particularly apt. I look forward to your new thought on this new chapter.**

**Freakylemurcat- you have my undying gratitude for writing such wonderful reviews while you were feeling so unwell my dear. I am delighted that you liked the Akihiko topping chapters and the backstory. I am curious as to what it is about him that moves you so. And your study of him is amazing and I have to say you are my Akihiko resource. Your fics on him are part of what have enabled me to move beyond my past feeling and begin writing him in these new ways. You make him so beautifully human and completely sympathetic in your writing.**

**Oh and a general question to anyone reading these notes. A few of you commented on Akihiko in an apron. Why do people like to dress these guys up in aprons and such? Okay… so I put Akihiko in an apron and I did put Hiroki in a maid's uniform once… but I think from the reader response I have gotten, your understanding of this might be different from mine… So would you share it with me? Do the frills hyper-sexualize their masculinity? Does it make it easier for you as a reader to project yourself into the character? Is it the issue of power? The slight element of humiliation on dressing a obviously virile man as a woman? Please let me know *Nowaki in an apron eyes***

**ScorpioCookie- how wonderful to hear a new voice from someone who has been reading! I can't tell you how much that thrills me. I agree with your analysis completely. I am so glad you are enjoying my stories and that you took a chance on this fic. I hope you will be a bit more vocal now we have been properly introduced. Here and wherever else you're reading.**

**BlackArticFox- Your comments on Hiroki not know what Akihiko needs to do to fix things was very astute as was your observation on the pair's mutual need for each other. And you're right Hiroki is hiding himself and not seeing his own armor. I agree this Akihiko is more expressive or perhaps more honestly, emotionally expressive and not as in control as he is in his older canon incarnation. Ah the fires of youth. And Hiroki didn't want to hear anything from the man I think. That would mean his own defenses would have to come down in a deeper and there's an unresolved issue of power struggle still between them. And again you're right about Akihiko waiting without appointing a time for discussion so that Hiroki can think… the question is will the author be able to wait that long?**

**Lillemmi- hopefully the other reader's reviews gave you the explanation you were looking for, love.**


	16. Chapter 16: Returns

**On Another Path**

**Chapter Sixteen****: Returns**

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><p>Akihiko lay on the couch in his apartment. He was staring at his closed laptop sitting before him on the coffee table, when he heard a knock on the door. He rolled over onto his side and pulled a lean arm over his head trying to shield himself from the noise.<p>

The last two weeks had been miserable. He couldn't eat. He couldn't sleep. His heart ached. Nothing felt right.

When he tried to write, gathering words was like trying to collect snowflakes in one's hand. All he seemed to be able to manage to do was smoke too many cigarettes and think constantly about Hiroki.

He had tried to reach him a number of times after they'd last parted. But when Hiroki had remained absolutely silent -no calls or texts- Akihiko had known the literature student was seriously upset, more so than he'd ever imagined.

Recently, though it killed him to do so, he'd finally decided to give the man some space, rather than risk further annoying Hiroki with his constant attempts at communication.

Akihiko couldn't remember a single time since he'd moved back to Japan as a child that Hiroki had been so completely inaccessible.

The young author sighed.

His father had called earlier that day. Word of his novel's publication and its impending release had finally reached the man and he was furious. Though their tones had stayed cool, they had exchanged heated words and now the man had demanded a meeting.

"Hiroki," Akihiko whispered mournfully.

After his conversation with the head of the Usami clan, Akihiko had of course wanted to call Hiroki to tell him about the whole ridiculous conversation. It had been so painful to realize that he couldn't.

This had happened so often during the last few weeks, Akihiko had never fully understood how much he depended on the Hiroki before as his confidante and adviser.

The heaviness in his heart increased: it wasn't just that he'd lost his lover; he'd also lost his best friend.

A moment later Akihiko's phone rang. His heart leapt at the sound and then crashed when he grabbed it and saw it was only Aikawa.

It had been a bad day for conversation all the way around.

After their exchange that afternoon, Akihiko did not particularly relish the thought of talking with the woman. He let the phone ring through to voicemail but less than a minute later she was calling again. Akihiko considered turning his phone off only for an instant before realizing if he did, and Hiroki ever called, he would miss it.

He growled irritably and then answered the phone.

Before he could even offer a sharp salutation however, he heard Aikawa's crisp tone.

"Usami Sensei, get your lazy author ass up off that couch and come answer your door, I'm getting tired of standing out here in your hallway!"

Akihiko's brow furrowed.

_Such a pest. _But he knew if he didn't get the door he would get no peace. _Not that I've had much of that lately, anyway.  
><em>

Pushing himself reluctantly off of his sofa, Akihiko drug himself over to the door and opened it. He stared at his editor through bloodshot eyes with a combination of resentment and curiosity.

Aikawa pushed past him and into the entry.

"You should have taken your key back," Akihiko greeted, watching Aikawa slip out of her shoes.

Aikawa snorted at the notion. "After the problems that caused? No thank you!"

Akihiko followed behind her out into the main room. "How did you know I was on the couch?" He reached for his pack of cigarettes on the low coffee table.

"Because, Sensei, that is where you have been moping the last four times I've been here," Aikawa replied sounding irritated.

"Ah… I apologize for having become so predictable, Aikawa-san," Akihiko's tone was sarcastic. He pulled a cigarette from the pack. "You on the other hand are full of surprises, as you were just here a few hours ago and threatening not to come back until I had something for you."

"Well, I left something behind," Aikawa informed him, moving over to the chair she'd been sitting in and starting to search among the cushions.

"What is it with you editors and leaving things behind?" Akihiko's mind was immediately drawn to what his first editor had left behind: the scarf he'd been sleeping with every night since Hiroki had left him.

"Do they offer you a class in that or something? Tricky tactics for editors _one oh one_?" Akihiko drawled around his cigarette as he lit it.

"Found it!" Aikawa triumphantly held up a ball point pen.

Akihiko looked at her suspiciously. "You mean to tell me you came all the way back here for that? It looks like a perfectly ordinary pen to me."

The auburn-haired young woman frowned. "I'll have you know it's my lucky pen," she sniffed. Then her expression shifted and she regarded it with a rather sad expression on her lovely face.

"At least it was lucky, although now with all the difficulty you've been giving me, I'm not so sure."

Akihiko looked at her impassively as he exhaled a ring of smoke, obviously unmoved by her lament.

Aikawa pretended not to notice.

"Also, I brought something for you." She reached into her bag and handed Akihiko a small wrapped rectangular package. The young author took it carefully.

"Is this what I think it is?" Akihiko asked softly.

"Yes," Aikawa replied and then added, "And don't think I had an easy time getting it for you either, Sensei. You and your eccentric requests.

"And what do you give me in return? Nothing but headaches… Honestly!"

"And by the way… I dropped your gift by to Kamijou-san," Aikawa offered casually as she dropped her "lucky" pen in to her seemingly bottomless bag.

This had Akihiko's attention immediately.

"You did?" Pale eyes showed more life than they had in days. "And did you see him? How did he seem? Did he accept my gift? Does it appear that he's eating?"

Aikawa looked at her troublesome author with bitter amusement. "Suddenly you're not at such a loss for words it seems, Sensei."

Akihiko's brow furrowed slightly. Ignoring the jibe, he waited, obviously impatient, for Aikawa to answer his questions.

"Well?"

The editor sighed.

"He looks just like you Sensei…"

Aikawa thought about saying "like shit," but instead she altered her opinion to offer something a bit more poetic. "Like a man's whose heart has been recently broken." She stared at Akihiko and when he didn't respond she threw up her hands.

"Why don't you just go see him? You're both miserable without each other."

"I told him I would wait."

Aikawa rolled her eyes. _Men can be so obtuse!_

"It would be better if you told him you were sorry."

"I did," Akihiko sighed, recalling at the time of course there was a door between them and he didn't even know if Hiroki was listening.

Aikawa snorted, "Well maybe you should tell him again,"

"It doesn't hurt to say something more than once on occasion. Besides, maybe now Kamijou-san might be actually ready to hear it.

Then seeing the deep pain in Akihiko's lavender eyes, Aikawa added in a much gentler tone, "He misses you desperately, you know."

"Did he say that?" Akihiko regarded his editor intently.

"Not with words, no… Though he couldn't have communicated it any more clearly."

Aikawa watched Akihiko lean down and stub out his smoke in the ashtray on the coffee table.

"Sensei, I know that we haven't worked together that long…" Aikawa's voice suddenly sounded much more tentative.

"But Kamijou–san always struck me as a man with a certain sense of pride. If I might offer my humble opinion… If you're waiting for him to tell you he's ready to forgive you… I fear you're going to be waiting for an awfully long time no matter how much he might be suffering."

Aikawa hitched her bag back up on her shoulder and started to head towards the entry. She turned back after going a few feet, "You should go to him, Usami-sensei… If you want him back."

She had turned and gone a few more feet when Akihiko called out. He began moving towards her. Aikawa turned back once more and looked at him impatiently.

"I really don't have that much more time, Sensei…

"I have an appointment I have to get to in an hour… To get my ass chewed out by the director because I can't seem to manage the simple task of handling _my_ author."

Akihiko raised his brows and for the first time in several days offered the auburn-haired spitfire a slight smile.

"Tell him you'll have my full outline first thing tomorrow morning. I can fax it to you right?"

Aikawa gazed at him with a suspicious expression. "Yes," She said hesitantly then she added, "Promise?"

Akihiko stepped up and took Aikawa's hand, he offered her a gallant bow and kissed the back of her fingers lightly.

"I promise Aikawa-san."

Aikawa looked at the back of her hand and crinkled her nose just slightly. "You and your fine European manners… Just get your damn work in on time!" she chided though her cheeks flushed with pleasure.

Akihiko watched Aikawa slip back into her shoes and out the door. Then he looked at the package she had given him; he was still holding it in one of his hands.

He said a prayer of thanks and blessed the woman silently.

_Aikawa is right; I will go see Hiroki tomorrow._

Moving back into his front room, Akihiko laid the package reverently down on the coffee table.

Then he sat down on the sofa, ran hand through his wild silver locks, opened his laptop, lit another cigarette, and began writing.

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><p><strong>Thank you for reading and reviewing!<br>**


	17. Chapter 17: For Kicks

**On Another Path**

**Chapter Seventeen: For Kicks**

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><p>Hiroki gathered his books and his laptop and slipped them into his book bag, thankful that the class was over at last.<p>

His studies, which, outside of Akihiko, had always been his previous passion, had proven to be a poor distraction from his pain. He was having so much difficulty concentrating these days, in fact, his coursework was suffering.

Had it been a larger lecture class where he was able to sit anonymously among a crowd of students, quietly taking notes, he would have been fine. But the session that had just ended was an upper division seminar class where participation was imperative. Here, his recent lack of comments and his inability to articulate a decent argument had been quickly noticed by both the other students and his professor.

Hiroki had just stood to leave when he heard Professor Yoshida say his name from where the man was still seated at the head of the table the class had been occupying.

"Kamijou-kun…" Professor Yoshida's reading glasses sat low on his nose, as he appeared to be reviewing his discussion notes. "Might I have a word with you?"

"Of course, Professor." Hiroki watched as a few of his lingering classmates shot him curious or pitying looks that only served to heighten his sense of foreboding.

Once the classroom was empty, Yoshida raised his eyes from his papers. "Everything okay, Kamijou-kun?"

Hiroki's brow furrowed. "Yes, sir."

Yoshida's own brow creased in response to his star student's answer.

"I'm going to speak plainly here, Kamijou-kun." The professor eyed Hiroki disapprovingly. "I don't buy that for a second."

"You have always been at the top of this class. Your comments are well made and insightful and I think you have a great future in the field of literature… editing… criticism… perhaps even teaching, if that's what you want.

"It's obvious whatever you pursue you undertake it with great intensity." As he spoke, Yoshida's sharp eyes never left Hiroki.

Hiroki damned himself for being so easily flustered. He remained silent but his cheeks immediately began to burn at the unexpected praise.

"However…" Yoshida paused for effect, "Lately it seems as though your mind is barely here.

"You are not participating and when you do, your contributions are those that I'd expect from one of my lower level _Introduction to Literature_ students.

"And besides these things, son… you don't look well at all... So I'll ask again…

"Is everything okay?"

Hiroki remained silent, his eyes dropped to the floor. The blush brought on by the professor's earlier exultations had been replaced by a hot rush of shame. Hiroki knew his silence could be perceived as disrespectful but he couldn't bring himself to speak, for fear his voice might break.

"Ah… I thought so," Yoshida said not unkindly: the youth's silence spoke as plainly as any verbal response Kamijou could have offered.

The professor's voice returned to its usual sterner tone. "I have seen too many brilliant students fall to the wayside because they allow themselves to become unbalanced in some way, Kamijou-kun. I do not want to see you join them."

Seeing the young man's obvious embarrassment, Yoshida sighed.

"The world of literature, particularly academically, is much more competitive than many think. You will have great opportunities if you can manage to stay at the top, Kamijou-kun, but once you slip, even just a bit, regaining your footing can be incredibly difficult.

"Take it from an old academic who speaks from years of experience."

Yoshida gathered his papers and slipped them into his briefcase as he said this. Then he stood and placed a heavy hand on Hiroki's shoulder.

"Whatever it is you're dealing with, son, get it resolved as quickly as possible and get yourself back on track… If not for yourself, then for the other students in the class.

"You're impacting their educational experience as well, you know." The professor withdrew his hand from Hiroki's stooped shoulder, removed his glasses, folded and slipped them into his breast pocket.

Hiroki offered Yoshida a deep bow and his low growling voice was laden with contrition, "I apologize sincerely for any difficulties I may have caused, Professor, and make no excuses for my poor behavior. But I assure you that I will correct myself immediately." Having taken the risk of speaking, Hiroki was only grateful that the tremor that gripped his insides was not apparent in his words.

Looking at the obviously chagrined student before him, Yoshida suddenly found himself wondering if perhaps he'd been too abrupt.

He intuited Kamijou to be a rather sensitive sort, given the insights he had into the course readings, despite how solemn and stern his countenance in class might be.

"Good man, I have no doubt you will," Yoshida encouraged, hoping that might be enough to take some of the sting out of his critique. He picked up his briefcase and exited the classroom.

Though he straightened his posture, Hiroki continued to stand there with his head bowed after the professor had left.

As soon as Yoshida was gone, the tremble that he had been so vigorously fighting to contain shook him. Hot tears of humiliation rose up into his eyes.

Hiroki was furious with himself for allowing his compromised state to be so clearly visible.

So maybe he'd lost a bit of weight, other than that and perhaps being a bit more reserved, he thought he'd been managing to keep his distress to himself relatively well.

_Until now._

Hiroki had never in his life been singled out academically for criticism.

That was part of the reason he worked so hard… not just for praise or recognition, but so as also never to cause distress to his instructors or give anyone reason to find fault with him.

To have disturbed Yoshida enough for the man to take the time to speak with him privately like that was unthinkable and, that his classmate's experience was being affected by his self-absorption, galled Hiroki's sense of responsibility.

After his mentor's rebuke, the anguished student felt a tremendous sense of relief that he didn't have another class that day and could flee the campus now and go home where he could wrestle with his emotions in private.

Hiroki took his knit cap out of his bag and pulled it down low over his wild dark head as he stood there trying to compose himself enough to leave the classroom.

Still in a fury over what had transpired, Hiroki damned himself again and then he damned Akihiko.

_If this is what I get from trying to keep all my feelings about what had happened between us to myself…_

Hiroki resolved the next time he saw Akihiko he wouldn't hold back.

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><p>Akihiko waited out in the hall. He'd arrived just in time to watch the last of the students leave the seminar room. He stood there solemnly, the package that Aikawa had brought him the previous day gripped in one cool hand.<p>

To anyone passing the law student by, Akihiko offered the picture of composure. Inside however, he was in turmoil. His heart was pounding, stomach clenched, throat tight, anticipating what Hiroki's reaction would be when the literature student saw him there.

Akihiko began to wonder what was taking Hiroki so long. He was suddenly concerned that maybe Hiroki had not attended class. The thought of this was extremely disconcerting.

Then he saw the professor emerge. Another student who had been politely waiting outside the classroom intercepted the academic and the two stood there talking about some question that had been raised during the class discussion.

Seeing this, Akihiko smiled to himself, despite the internal tumult he felt. It was not uncommon for Hiroki to continue talking with his professors after a class was over. Once he got engaged in a discussion, it was sometimes hard for Hiroki to set it aside

And, though Hiroki always dismissed him when Akihiko commented on it, a number of the literature student's professors spoke with him at times as though he was more of a colleague than a pupil.

This thought pleased Akihiko; he was happy his friend had at least been able to concentrate on his studies.

_Which is certainly more than I can say for myself_

It was especially comforting, knowing how much Hiroki's courses meant to him. For Akihiko, law was simply an academic exercise he'd undertaken to keep his father off of his back and out of his hair. His true passion had always been the writing.

As he was thinking about this, Akihiko looked down and realized one of his shoes had come untied. He shook his head, wishing that he'd worn something slip on instead.

He'd gone to extra lengths to look presentable this morning, after looking like hell for the past several days.

Akihiko had wanted to make a good impression on Hiroki too, which when he'd thought about this as he was getting ready, had rather amused him: it wasn't really something he'd ever considered before in their relationship.

Kneeling down, Akihiko set the package on the floor beside him. He was working on his laces when Hiroki emerged from the classroom.

Hiroki saw his lover's bowed silvered head and recognized Akihiko immediately. His heart clenched desperately in his chest with longing. However, the anger and the shame that he'd barely gotten contained quickly boiled back up to the surface: kneeling before him now was the single greatest cause for all of his life's problems.

Hiroki was shocked at the depths of the rage that he felt. Not just for what had happened in the kitchen with Aikawa, but for all of the previous years of waiting, and for Akihiko's continual cluelessness.

Something inside the literature student snapped. Without thinking, for once in his life, Hiroki strode over to Akihiko, just as the man was looking up.

_I need you to know just how I have been feeling: how much I've missed you, how much I love you, and just how much I hate you right now…_

This is what Hiroki planned to say, but what came out of his mouth, instead, was, "Akihiko! You stupid blockhead!"

Hiroki had drawn one of his muscular legs up as he said this with a speed emerging from his former martial arts training. Before Akihiko could react, a foot came crashing down hard, as if to underscore the blow of Hiroki's words, striking the kneeling young author square in the forehead.

The female student still talking with Yoshida saw this and shrieked. The sound of her exclamation broke into Hiroki's consciousness and he realized suddenly what he'd done.

Mortified by this public violence, Hiroki panicked. He turned on his heels and immediately fled the building.

The other shocked students in the hall were murmuring loudly. A few pulled out their cell phones to take pictures. One student exclaimed, "He's running away! Someone should call the police!"

Yoshida had been completely shocked by his top student's outburst. Rushing over to Akihiko, Yoshida crouched down to assist the dazed youth. Akihiko was still kneeling, holding his head in his hands.

"Son, are you alright? Are you hurt?"

Akihiko waved one hand, the other still clutching his forehead where blood was flowing heavily from a slight cut on his brow caused by the heel of Hiroki's shoe.

"I'm fine!" Akihiko said loudly, though he was still seeing stars. "Please, don't call the police; there's no need."

The gathering crowd in the hall continued to look on curiously as Yoshida helped Akihiko to his feet.

"I just can't believe Kamijou would do such a thing," Yoshida murmured, still stunned.

"Really I'm fine, Sir…" Akihiko tried to shake the assisting professor's hand off.

"That was no random blow…" Staggering a bit as the blood running into his eyes made it difficult to see, Akihiko dropped his voice low, so only Yoshida could hear it.

"Kamijou 's my lover... We've been having some issues... I... I severely wronged him and I deserved it."

The literature professor's brow rose considerably at the injured youth's words. Of all the things he'd imagined that his prize student might have been struggling with, this was certainly not one of them

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><p><strong>Thank you all so much for reviewing. I apologize for the lack of notes. I promise to add them later as you have been making such wonderful comments. Please continue to do so. I so appreciate your feedback and it really helps with the writing!<strong>


	18. Chapter 18: Fallen Leaves

**On Another Path**

**Chapter Eighteen: Fallen Leaves**

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><p>Hiroki sat on the bus, riding home from the University to his apartment.<p>

He had his arms folded across his chest. The posture was protective: it was as though he was trying to keep his pounding heart from breaking through the cage of his ribs. Even though it had been some time since his flight from the campus it was still beating wildly.

He still couldn't believe that Akihiko had shown up outside his class or more accurately, Hiroki couldn't believe what he had done to Akihiko when the man had shown up outside his class.

Of course while he had anticipated Akihiko might do something like that, what had happened had certainly not fit any of the scenarios Hiroki had imagined.

As he sat there, forehead furrowed with a deep scowl, Hiroki tried to keep the flames of anger stoked. He knew that after what he'd just done, if he let them become extinguished, a new blaze, that of his shame, would be ignited. The literature student was too well aware from previous experiences, how much hotter shames' fires burned.

Hiroki slumped down lower in his seat, still fuming.

As it was midday, the bus was rather empty. The troubled brunet glanced over at a middle aged woman sitting not far from him. The lady had several bags surrounding her so she'd obviously been shopping. Her head was bowed and she was quietly snoring.

_I wish that I could rest so peacefully._

His observations made Hiroki wonder if he should postpone going home and head for the nearest used bookstore instead. However, though book buying was his favorite form of self-soothing, today the idea held little appeal: thinking of books just brought Hiroki's mind back to his novelist.

Hiroki growled in frustration.

_Who am I kidding? All roads these days lead back to Akihiko, the genius/idiot who was my lover._

Thinking about his situation in terms of semantics, Hiroki frowned.

They hadn't formally broken up, despite the fact they were fighting, so perhaps "was" was the wrong word to employ, regardless of how things felt...

Poking the embers of his anger again, Hiroki told himself he was glad he'd kicked Akihiko. By the time he arrived at his stop, he'd repeated this so often he almost managed to believe it.

Hiroki walked the half a block it took to reach his apartment from where the bus stopped. Once there, he paused to pick up the mail.

He was sorting through his post as he stepped out of the elevator and onto the walkway. Looking up from the letters he was holding, Hiroki paused in his step when once again he immediately recognized a familiar form sitting on the ground, camped outside his door.

* * *

><p>Akihiko had left the University not long after Hiroki, though it had taken him a few minutes to shake Yoshida off.<p>

He'd finally been able to get away from the man by promising to go to the campus infirmary. Once on his own again, however, the law student had ducked into a restroom only long enough to grab a wet paper towel to wipe away the worst of the blood and staunch his bleeding.

Akihiko shifted his long legs where he sat. He had jumped into his car and driven to Hiroki's apartment immediately.

The young author raised a hand tentatively to his forehead, wincing as his fingers grazed the wound his lover had given him.

Truthfully, Akihiko had not been terribly surprised. He had anticipated a blow from Hiroki over what had happened at some point.

Akihiko had known his friend long enough to understand full well that as tightly wound as Hiroki was, no matter how contained the man tried to be, that occasionally things would just become too much for him and Hiroki would lash out or break down.

He had watched this pattern play out repeatedly over the years.

Ignoring the headache he currently had and the angry pulsing of his brow, Akihiko had decided he was not leaving Hiroki alone again until they'd finally resolved things. Even if that meant he had to camp out on his doorstep for days.

* * *

><p>Despite all his previous ruminations, Hiroki's heart leapt like a gazelle at the sight of Akihiko, however, a mere moment later, his pride pounced like a lion and brought it crashing down again.<p>

Knowing that Akihiko had his own private transportation, Hiroki realized that he shouldn't have been surprised that his friend had arrived at his apartment before he had.

The literature student's first inclination was turn and run again, but instead he squared his shoulders and resumed walking as though nothing had happened. In a matter of seconds he stood in front of Akihiko.

Akihiko looked up slowly. Hiroki grimaced when he saw Akihiko's wounded forehead.

Akihiko had cleaned the blood from his face just enough so that he could see to drive. His brow, however, was still streaked, his silvered bangs dyed rust, and while the actual cut itself was rather small, it was surrounded by a darkening bruise that showed prominently against his pale skin.

The sight of what he'd done tore at Hiroki's heart.

He wanted nothing more than to caress Akihiko's stained brow, to anoint the man's forehead with tears of regret. Instead however, Hiroki kept his face blank.

"What are you doing here, Akihiko?"

Akihiko rose stiffly, gathering a small package that had been sitting on the ground beside him as he stood. He unexpectedly offered Hiroki a slight bow.

"I'm sorry, I decided to wait here for you."

"You still have your key… you could have waited inside." Hiroki ignored the bow and turned to unlock his door.

"Given your last reception of me it didn't seem prudent," Akihiko said softly.

Hiroki ignored this as well, as he walked into his apartment, slipped out of his shoes, hung his bag up, and continued to study the mail. He did however leave the door open behind him.

Akihiko sighed and took the keys out of the door that Hiroki had once again left there.

He stepped inside behind and dropped the keys on the low table just inside the entry as he closed the door behind him. The young author took off his shoes and moved to the end of the entry way. He waited there and watched as Hiroki moved into the kitchen and went to the fridge opening it and taking out a single can of beer.

Hiroki walked back out into the main room, still without saying anything and sat down on the floor at the low table. He opened the beer and took a sip and then opened one of the letters he'd received and began reading.

Akihiko cleared his throat. When after another minute, Hiroki still didn't look up he asked, "Hiroki, do you mind if I use your bathroom to clean up a bit?"

"Suit yourself," Hiroki replied without even glancing in his direction.

"Ah thanks."

Akihiko quietly stepped up to the table. He set the package he'd been carrying down on its surface.

"I brought this for you," Akihiko murmured, then he headed into the bathroom.

Hiroki looked at the package before him; he picked it up carefully. His hand immediately recognized through the paper the shape and heft of a book.

Akihiko was always giving him books… it was his favored means of atonement. Hiroki considered opening it. Then he noticed the paper was stained in places with blood.

Frowning at this, Hiroki set the book back down. He pretended to continue reading his mail then, though Akihiko wasn't even in the room.

After a minute or so more, Akihiko emerged from the bathroom, a damp cloth in his hand and his face considerably cleaner.

"There's no hot water, Old Man," the author said casually. He saw that his package was still lying on the table, seemingly untouched. Akihiko winced when this brought a furrow to his forehead.

"Well, don't expect me to know how to fix it," Hiroki muttered as he opened another envelope before picking up his can again and taking another drink of his beer.

Akihiko looked down at his lover and sighed.

Then he walked silently into the kitchen and pulled the sweater vest he was wearing over his head and slipped off his tie.

Hiroki finally raised his head by the time Akihiko had finished unbuttoning the dress shirt he was wearing. He frowned when he saw Akihiko slip his shirt down off his broad shoulders.

"What the fuck are you doing, Akihiko?" Hiroki voice was low, filled with apprehension and just perhaps a bit of curiosity.

Akihiko slipped his dress shirt off and pulled the thin tee-shirt he was wearing under it over his head.

Hiroki stood up still holding his beer and walked over closer keeping a cautious distance, as seeing the man's bare torso filled him with a dangerous hunger.

"I want you to take me here," Akihiko said softly, light eyes staring intensely into dark.

Hiroki just stood and stared, his brow creased with perplexity.

Akihiko leaned over and set his palms flat on the book covered counter.

Hiroki lowered his gaze in embarrassment, realizing at last what it was his childhood friend was saying. He felt a sudden weight drop into the pit of his stomach; he looked up again and saw that Akihiko was waiting.

Akihiko's head was bowed. He was standing perfectly still or more accurately leaning, slightly bent at the waist his forearms resting on the counter.

Despite the fierce tension visible in the tightly strung muscles of the young man's back, Akihiko's posture was extremely humbled.

Hiroki set his beer can down on the counter. He crossed his arms and shook his head sorrowfully.

"Put your shirt back on Akihiko," he muttered, his cheeks burning. Hiroki watched as at his words a tense tremble shook his friend's lean torso. Despite this however, Akihiko did not alter his bowed state.

When Akihiko didn't move, Hiroki felt himself being stirred into anger.

"God damn it Akihiko, I'm not doing this! Play acting what happened in reverse is not going to fix things!"

Akihiko still didn't stir, but the soft silk of his voice unfolded with a rustling whisper. "Then what will Hiroki? Tell me."

"Put your shirt back on," was all Hiroki said, though this time his growling voice was much lower. Then he turned silently and went back over to the table, sat down once more, and picked up the mail again.

If Akihiko had looked up, however, he would have seen a distinct palsy in Hiroki's fingers. Without looking at Hiroki, the young author raised himself. He picked his discarded clothes up off the counter. Akihiko re-donned his dress shirt but that was all.

Glancing up at his friend and lover while Akihiko's head was bent, focused halfheartedly on refastening his buttons, Hiroki noticed that the man had miss-buttoned his shirt and it hung now uneven.

Something in the sight of this crystallized a picture of Akihiko, with all his childlike flaws. It broke Hiroki's heart in a new way and stirred something dangerously tender.

Hiroki dropped his gaze a moment later, a few seconds before Akihiko looked up with a determined look on his face. Moving over before the low table, Akihiko implored, "Talk to me Hiroki...

"Tell me what I need to do to make things right between us. I'm not leaving here until this is resolved."

At these words Hiroki exploded, upturning the low table as he rose.

"Fine! Then you stay here as long as you like and I'll leave!" Within seconds Hiroki was at the apartment door, his hand on the knob prepared to flee, without even having bothered put his shoes back on.

Even as he was opening the door however, inside his heart was pleading,_ don't let me go. _Despite this, his breath still caught when the door suddenly pushed closed against the force of his hand.

Hiroki turned his head and saw a large palm pressed flat on the wood surface beside him, Akihiko's long arm outstretched, the taller man leaning against it with all of his weight to prevent it from opening.

"Hiroki I am so sorry…" Akihiko spoke softly beside him, his voice laden with emotion. "…Sorry for what I did… for being so thoughtless… For..." Akihiko's voice caught here and he sounded as though he was choking as he spoke the next words, "For your silent suffering…"

There was a tone in his friend's voice that Hiroki had never heard before. It took him a moment to identify it, it sounded so strange in Akihiko's mouth: it was desperation.

"Do know how many times in the last two weeks I have wanted to say this to you?" Akihiko whispered.

"Praying that you would answer the phone or show up at my door… Here again, Hiroki, I am so sorry… I should have known… waiting was not what I should have done… or if I if I did…

"I should have never left your door that first day… that's where I should have waited."

Beside Akihiko, Hiroki stiffened.

Akihiko was beside himself at this response, not realizing that it was Hiroki's attempt to keep from crumbling under the impact of his words. Still, it pushed the young author into further action.

Hiroki drew back in surprise, when in an instant after Akihiko stopped speaking, he found himself somehow suddenly turned around. His back pressed against the door; a wrist clasped in each of Akihiko's powerful hands, his arms pushed back and up in a position of surrender.

The chill of Akihiko's grasp bit into his skin, the soothing cool of the touch threatening to immediately douse the heat of his anger. Yet, despite how much his flesh yearned to be taken, Hiroki's mind had no intention of so easily submitting.

Unlike the last time Akihiko had him restrained, this time Hiroki's struggle was fierce; his lean body bucked between the door and his lover as he sought to free himself.

Even so, Akihiko leaned in and caught Hiroki's mouth, pressing hard against it, his lips fighting to subdue him. Hiroki's mouth opened to curse and was immediately filled with tongue.

If Hiroki would not allow Akihiko the opportunity to use it to reason, to plead, to tease his lover back to him, Akihiko was determined to employ it in the only other way he thought there might be any hope to convince Hiroki that he was not willing to relinquish him.

Pushing back, Hiroki's own tongue offered a vicious rebuttal at first, but he simply could not resist the law student's skilled lingual persuasion.

Besides, Hiroki was an addict and the moment Akihiko's tongue entered him it was like a shot of hard liquor in the mouth of an alcoholic, it burned and soothed and intoxicated him completely, reawakening his unquenchable thirst.

To his deep embarrassment, Hiroki found that his knees actually grew weak as Akihiko refused to relent. Hiroki's back slowly slid down the door until his ass made contact with the floor.

Akihiko's body followed, their mouths never breaking contact. Hiroki closed his eyes as he felt Akihiko over him, surrounding him. Long arms embraced him and pulled him tight against a broad chest.

Hiroki understood instantly he'd lost his footing on more than one level.

Akihiko pulled his mouth away, moved it to Hiroki's ear and whispered, "I love you Hiroki and you _are _precious to me. Please…give me another chance and I'll prove it."

As he said these words, one of the hands he had on Hiroki's back drifted down and found its way under Hiroki's shirt, then it slid further beneath the band of Hiroki's jeans.

_How long have I waited to hear such words? _

Hiroki wanted so much to believe, but he couldn't bear the idea of being made the fool one more time… or could he?

The chill of Akihiko's cool palm against the heated skin of his hip roused Hiroki from his stupor. Hiroki lashed out, pushing Akihiko back up off of him in one final act of resistance.

"Don't fuck with me, Akihiko you asshole!" he snarled.

Akihiko caught one of Hiroki's flailing limbs in a large hand, with the other, he palmed Hiroki's chest pushing his slightly smaller lover back against the door. Leaning in again, Akihiko brushed his lips across his beloved friend's jaw, up over Hiroki's cheek. He whispered in a voice laden with tenderness, "Hiroki."

_His voice… his touch…_

Hot tears welled and Hiroki knew he was lost. He slowly lifted his glistening eyes, their expression still fierce, his chest heaved from the exertion of his protests.

As Hiroki found himself suddenly staring into Akihiko's violet gaze, an image came into his mind.

It was as if he were a tree and Akihiko a sharp autumn breeze, stripping him of his leaves and leaving him bare.

Hiroki wondered how he would fare another season with the man, naked without his foliage of defenses. Did he dare hope for another spring or would a harsh winter leave him cracked and splintered?

Still, like the tree in his mind, Hiroki suddenly felt rooted to the spot, unable to move as the cool breeze of his beloved blew over him.

The silver-haired youth moved his mouth, tenderly working his way back to Hiroki's where it settled: each touch of Akihiko's lips an act of contrition.

Suddenly exhausted, Hiroki could no longer fight. Instead he closed his eyes against his tears and opened his mouth to Akihiko's as he felt dozens of frost-kissed crimson leaves begin to fall and flutter softly to the ground.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you for all the alerts and the favorites dear readers.<strong>

**And to my amazing reviewers, you really have no idea how nourishing it is to get such thoughtful reviews. I salute you (and look forward to more)!**


	19. Chapter 19: Notes

**On Another Path **

**Chapter Nineteen: Notes**

* * *

><p>Hiroki sat with his back up against the wall at the head of his futon, reading a book.<p>

Akihiko was smoking. He lay naked, partially curled across the crumpled sheet that covered Hiroki's lap. His ass was still fiercely aching from the activities of the past few hours.

After the scene at the door, the afternoon had dissolved into a symphony of tangled limbs, of glistening skin, soiled sheets, and gasping breaths.

Once Akihiko felt Hiroki's resistance finally break down, he'd pulled his lover up and led him into the bedroom. Hiroki had remained passive initially. Akihiko had stripped them both, laid Hiroki down, and had tried to express as much tenderness as he could in the taking of him.

He had possessed Hiroki from the front, aware in the process that, though pliant, Hiroki kept his eyes closed or averted during the act. Akihiko understood then, that while a temporary truce had been called, he'd not yet been completely forgiven.

After they'd recovered from that first bout, Hiroki suddenly roused and had taken Akihiko. He had entered Akihiko from the back and his taking had been just shy of brutal. Akihiko endured without complaint, though once or twice he did cry out. In fact, it was at his second exclamation that Hiroki finally gentled.

Carefully, favoring his still-tender flesh, Akihiko rolled over and slid his long body down, so that Hiroki's lap now supported his shoulders. Setting his text to the side, Hiroki took off his reading glasses.

"You know the smell of your smoke gets into my books." Hiroki said this without rancor, more as a simple statement.

Akihiko breathed a long-suffering sigh: this was not the first time he'd heard this."Shall I put it out then?"

Hiroki shrugged and then astonished Akihiko.

"Can I have a drag?" Hiroki reached down to take the cigarette from between kiss-bruised lips.

Lavender eyes flashed with surprise. "I didn't know you ever smoked."

"I don't."

Akihiko removed the cigarette from his mouth before Hiroki reached it. Holding it between his fingers he offered it, then at the last moment pulled it back hesitantly.

"I'm not sure I should give this to you then, Hiroki. It's not good for you," Akihiko teased, a bit of bitter humor in his voice.

Considering all that they had been through recently, Hiroki let loose with a rare laugh. "And you are? Seriously, what's one more vice at this point?"

"Point taken," Akihiko conceded, smiling in spite of himself.

"Here."

Hiroki plucked the fag from Akihiko's long fingers, took a tentative drag, and immediately started coughing. Akihiko sat up and worriedly patted him on his shoulders. Finally Hiroki regained his breath; he passed the cigarette back.

Akihiko took it and lay back down with his head in Hiroki's lap. He been surprised by Hiroki's coughing fit.

"Seriously, Old Man, is this the first time you've ever smoked?"

"Yes, Akihiko." Hiroki looked down, his dark eyes glinted.

"Now you can proudly say you have given me at least one of my firsts as well… Honestly though, it tastes terrible, I don't know how anyone could get hooked on those things."

Despite saying this, Hiroki reached for the cigarette again and took another puff, incurring only a few coughing breaths this time.

"Did I ever tell you my grandfather died of lung cancer?" Hiroki offered this as he studiously eyed the cigarette held between his fingers.

"Mother made me promise when I was a kid that I'd never try it. Of course," he paused and a trace of bitterness slipped into his usually measured tones. "That was before I knew how easily the fragile skin of a promise could be broken."

Akihiko looked up at Hiroki, stunned by this sudden poetry.

Hiroki glanced down at Akihiko and seeing this, blushed. His eyes flashed with concern and perhaps a bit of remorse as he rather quickly changed the subject.

"You feeling okay, Akihiko?"

"Are you talking about my head or my ass, Old Man?" Akihiko took his cigarette back again.

"Because to be honest, Hiroki, you gave both quite a pounding today." These words were spoken through a ring of smoke, though in truth Akihiko had been prepared to endure far more, if it meant getting Hiroki back.

Hiroki frowned at this and didn't respond immediately.

Akihiko offered a smile to show there were no hard feelings. In fact, he was actually grateful for the violence: it had been revelatory.

Hiroki had taken him in the bedroom in just the manner Akihiko had offered himself in the other room, but in his own way, at his own timing. The young author realized now that, with how he'd proposed things in the kitchen, he was still in control, still directing, and with that in mind, Hiroki had been right in a sense that the act would never have been equitable.

It also demonstrated to Akihiko how truly kind his lover had been the first time he'd taken him, and the greater depths of this realization just made Akihiko appreciate that initial tenderness all the more.

Finally, though it had been rather shocking at first and undeniably painful, in reality it was a small, private punishment that was well deserved as opposed to the unwarranted humiliation he'd imposed on Hiroki.

Besides, when Hiroki had fucked him as though he hated him, it had only affirmed the extent of Hiroki's feelings: as Akihiko understood that love and hate were not opposites. No, they were two sides of the same coin: the currency of passion. Long ago Akihiko had learned from his family that the true opposite of love was in fact indifference. So, in their torrid exchange, he had felt convinced that Hiroki still deeply loved him.

"It doesn't seem as though anything was torn and there's been no blood," Akihiko offered. Then seeing this just deepen Hiroki's frown, he reassured, "I'm fine, Hiroki."

Hiroki reached long fingers down and combed them through Akihiko's sweat-damp hair. "It wasn't my intention to be so unkind."

Akihiko closed his eyes at the soothing touch. "You are kind to me even when you are not, Hiroki"

Leaning down, Hiroki kissed the wound on Akihiko's forehead, then he spoke and his voice was deadly serious.

"Inflict me with your genius, Akihiko, and I will gladly endure everything you give and come back for more… Not so with your dysfunction, however. You'll find my tolerance there has reached its limit already."

Hiroki pushed Akihiko gently up off his lap and slid down on the futon rolling over on to his side, his back to his lover.

"I mean that Akihiko," Hiroki growled, "No second chances this time… Understand?"

Akihiko sat and stubbed his cigarette in the ashtray lying amongst the sheets next to him. Then he lay down again, stretching himself out behind Hiroki, curling himself around his friend, wrapping a long arm around his lover and pulling Hiroki into him.

Rising just slightly, he leaned over Hiroki's shoulder. He took one of Hiroki's wrists and pulled the unresisting arm up to him. He turned the lean limb so that the pale pink scar from Hiroki's teeth, the barely noticeable patch of discoloration, were visible. He placed a lingering kiss in the middle of these marks and then carefully replaced arm, arranging it gently back in its original position.

Then he pulled his shaggy silver head back a bit and placed a soft kiss on Hiroki's cheek, surprised at the fresh wet and the salt he encountered there.

"I understand perfectly," Akihiko whispered. A tear of his own fell, anointing Hiroki's cheek, joining his lover's tears. Hiroki gave a slight start at the sensation, but then a moment later, though he didn't move otherwise, the perpetual crease in his brow disappeared.

Seeing this, Akihiko lay back down and cautiously nestled his battered forehead against the back of Hiroki's wild brown head.

Both men closed their eyes and in the lengthening shadows of the afternoon, soon slipped into the best sleep either had experienced in weeks.

* * *

><p>Hiroki stirred some time later. The peace that he first woke with quickly evaporated, however, as before he even turned over, he could feel Akihiko's absence from the bed.<p>

He wondered if Akihiko might be in the bathroom or if, perhaps, he'd had gone out into the kitchen to get a drink. Hiroki rolled over at sat up listening in the quiet apartment for sounds of where his lover might be and heard nothing.

Immediately, he understood that, outside of himself, the apartment was empty. As Hiroki put his hand down to push himself up off the futon, he felt a thin sheet of paper beneath his palm.

Picking it up, Hiroki squinted at it in the dimming light of his bedroom. On the paper in Akihiko's careful script were just a few words:

_I'm Going_

_-Akihiko_

Hiroki's heart dropped.

_What's this? _

After all that had happened that afternoon, his declaration, their seeming understanding…

_Is this how it will always be? Like some Sisyphean folly: reaching the top of the mountain just to be immediately returned to the valley?_

Hiroki sat. He crumpled the note in frustration and then a moment later smoothed it out again over his bare thigh to reread it.

_Why couldn't he at least leave a decent note like a normal person?_ Hiroki fumed. _I mean, fuck! The guy plies words for his living; you'd think he could have left just a few more here._

Drawing his knees up, Hiroki covered his head with his arms.

_Why? _

Hiroki's head suddenly began to ache as though he were the one who had received the blow. He could feel his novelist fix wearing off quickly now.

_What am I supposed to think about this?_ Hiroki felt his heart begin to beat faster. _And when will I see him again?_

_You're pathetic,_ the literature student chided himself. _Get off your ass and get on with your life… You're not some silly schoolgirl, Kamijou, though god knows you've been acting like one lately._

Suitably convicted now, Hiroki rose from the futon and put the wrinkled note carefully in between the pages of the book he'd been reading. Then he stood, made his way into the bathroom, and drew a bath.

Slipping into the water, Hiroki tried to steam Akihiko's lingering autumn touch out of his bones. After a few minutes of just sitting there, hands wrapped over his lean shins, he released them and began solemnly washing himself.

As he slid the soap over his tight limbs he wondered, _Have I always been so weak?_

Hiroki ducked his head completely under the water as though this might drown out the rising answer he really didn't want to hear.

* * *

><p>After finishing his bath and dressing in new jeans and a clean long sleeve tee-shirt, Hiroki moved back out into the main room. He stepped into the kitchen and poured the now-warm beer that he'd left on the counter down the sink.<p>

After retrieving a fresh one from the fridge, he shuffled back out into the main room. He turned on a small lamp and surveyed the shambles from his upturned table.

Hiroki shook his head.

_That is no a way to treat books,_ he scolded himself as he turned the low table back upright and then set his beer can on it while he knelt down and carefully began to pick up his scattered textxs.

After several minutes of gathering and stacking, Hiroki picked up a book and then glanced at the new piles on the low table.

He smiled bitterly to himself when he realized that inadvertently he'd just re-assembled, in perfect order, Akihiko's stack, the one he'd brought in from outside the doorway the first time the author had left him.

Of course, there was a part of this that really shouldn't have been all that surprising. After all, he had been staring at that stack, unconsciously memorizing its titles for weeks now.

The book in Hiroki's hand was the last in the stack: the text that had occupied the top of the pile. As he returned it to the column of texts, something slipped out from between its pages and fell to the floor with a light clink.

Hiroki set the book on the stack with one hand as his other went to retrieve whatever it was that had fallen.

Holding it up, he suddenly realized it was the key Akihiko had given him to his apartment, the one he had pushed under the door: Akihiko had never taken it back.

As Hiroki considered the implications of this, his eyes fell on the package that Akihiko had brought him.

Sitting down crossed-legged on the floor, he leaned over and picked it up. He pulled the stained paper-wrapped package back into his lap and began to cautiously unwrap it.

A small envelope slipped out from between the seams of the wrapping.

Hiroki's fingers immediately read the quality of the paper. He frowned as he opened it and took out a note card of fine parchment. Recognizing the careful script, Hiroki realized it was his second note of the day from Akihiko.

It read:

_Hiroki,_

_Regardless of what happens, I wanted you to have this._ _It is the manifestation of a dream I might have relinquished long ago,_ _if you had never been a part of my life. _

_I have Aikawa's word on the lives of her parents that this is the first one off the presses, the first one bound._

_It may seem like a humble gift to many, in light of all you have done for me,_ _but I know that a truly great man will be able to find worth in my poor gestures._

_Love,_

_Akihiko_

Hiroki's hands shook slightly as he parted the paper and he soon found himself holding Akihiko's very first book in his hands.

The literature student rose. He grabbed his beer off the table and headed over to the small couch.

He set his beer down, turned on a small standing light, and sat on the couch, knees drawn up, curled into the nest he'd made for himself over the month's he'd lived there.

Hiroki picked up a spare pair of reading glasses from a nearby pile of books and slipped these on.

His keen eyes studied the jacket; he admired the design, the simplicity and the symbolism of it. He put the book to his nose and breathed in the scent of fresh ink and crisp paper.

Holding his breath, Hiroki cracked the spine for the first time, smoothed back the first page. He marveled, as always, at the alchemical magic of it: turning thoughts into something tangible, occasionally immortal.

He studied every word on each page, publishing information, title, and then when he came to the dedication his heart stopped:

_This book is dedicated to K.H._

_My Muse and My Love_

_You were wrong, Old Man; I didn't need a new one._

_I just needed to realize who my true one was._

_U. A._

Hiroki sat there for a number of minutes unmoving. Then he slowly removed his glasses and wiped his eyes on the sleeve of his shirt. When his vision was no longer blurred by his tears, Hiroki shifted slightly, drawing his knees up just a bit tighter, re-donned his glasses, and turned the page.

* * *

><p>Akihiko was pacing. It had been almost four hours since he'd left Hiroki.<p>

He'd had to go because he had an appointment with his father and, despite how he felt about the man, he didn't dare miss it.

It had pleased him however, to show up to the meeting sporting his angry forehead and still smelling of sex. Needless to say, however, this disrespectful presentation hadn't helped an already tense situation and things hadn't gone well at all.

After bolting from the meeting following his father's ultimatum, he had spent some time driving around trying to clear his head.

Akihiko hated the congestion in Tokyo. He remembered speeding through the countryside with his grandfather in England, in one of the sports cars from the man's extensive collection.

_Now that was driving._

The idea that the old man was being more than a little irresponsible going 100 miles an hour with a seven-year-old child, barely strapped in beside him, never occurred to either one of them.

Those were Akihiko's happiest memories of England.

The young author had returned to his apartment to shower and change, when he'd gotten a text from Hiroki saying he'd opened his gift and asking if he could come over in an hour.

The hour had passed for Akihiko exceedingly slowly.

Now that Hiroki should be here any minute. Akihiko paced in front of the large mirror in the hallway, brushing his hair first forward and then back. He chided himself for feeling so nervous.

_It's just Hiroki after all…_

Although for Akihiko there wasn't any "just" for him about his friend any longer.

Hearing Hiroki's key in the latch, Akihiko sprinted over to the couch and threw himself down. He kicked his feet up on the coffee table, grabbed a book that had been sitting there, and pretended to read, not even aware that he was holding the book upside down.

He heard Hiroki close the door, take off his shoes, and hang his things up in the entry.

A moment later Hiroki stepped into the main room.

"Good book?"

Akihiko looked up. It appeared as though Hiroki had been having some hair issues as well, which for some reason made him feel ridiculously relieved.

"Umm, yeah it's great." Akihiko moved his long legs off the coffee table and set his feet on the floor.

"I'm surprised you're able to get through it," Hiroki observed drily.

"Well uh…" Akihiko glanced down and saw what Hiroki was referring to. He tossed the book onto the table and looked back up, fighting hard not to look sheepish.

The two men stood there in awkward silence for a moment.

Then Hiroki blushed, dropped his eyes, and muttered softly, "Hi honey, I'm home."

When he looked up and saw Akihiko's marvelous smile he blushed further and immediately turned and headed into the kitchen.

Akihiko drifted languidly behind him. "Why can't you ever say anything normal when you come in?"

Hiroki had opened the refrigerator and stood holding two cans of tea. "And what would you like me to say, Akihiko?" He held a can out.

Akihiko took his can from Hiroki and set it on the counter and then he reached over and took Hiroki's can as well. He moved in and embraced his friend from the back and leaned his shaggy silver head over Hiroki's shoulder.

"I think a good 'hey' would suffice nicely," Akihiko murmured into a pink ear.

Hiroki leaned back against Akihiko's chest for a long, silent minute.

"Thank you for the book, Akihiko… You have no idea…"

Akihiko cut him off. "Yes, I do, Old Man… That's why I did it."

He hesitated and then continued, "You know, Hiroki, after that first afternoon, I didn't tell you I loved you because I was waiting for the book to come out.

"You always so easily dismiss it whenever anyone says something slightly precious to you… I had this stupid romantic idea that if I waited and the next time I told you it was in writing, that there would be something concrete in this and that you might accept it a bit better."

Akihiko felt Hiroki stiffen in his arms at his words but he couldn't stop now, not after spending two agonizing weeks with all the things he should have said built up.

"It was foolish of me, I know and I'm sorry… Sorry still for so many things.

"I should have been telling you I loved you everyday a dozen times. I … I just have no idea how to go about these things correctly, Hiroki… 'love' was nothing I ever learned growing up…

"I'm bound to make a million mistakes."

Hiroki turned around in Akihiko's arms and looked up into his lover's lavender eyes. "Like outing yourself in the dedication of your first novel?"

"I don't feel like that was a mistake." Akihiko was surprised when this made Hiroki smile just a bit.

"So what's your father going to do when he finds out?"

Akihiko sighed.

"He already knows. That was why I had to leave you this afternoon.

"I had a meeting with the bastard… I mean there were some other things too he wanted to rail at me about… But…

"Look, I don't want to talk about this now."

Pale eyes searched dark ones and Akihiko was immensely comforted by the concern he saw in them.

"God I've missed you, Hiroki," Akihiko said softly. He gathered Hiroki's face in his hands and kissed his lover deeply. Hiroki returned the kiss with an incredible intensity.

When they separated Hiroki dropped his gaze, his cheeks flushed as he offered quietly back, "I missed you too, Akihiko."

Knowing that it would embarrass Hiroki too deeply if they continued to linger in this moment, Akihiko released him, grabbed the two teas off the counter, and handed one back to his friend.

"Hungry?"

Hiroki nodded as he opened his can. In truth, he was suddenly ravenous actually. It was the first time in weeks that the idea of food had even held any appeal for him.

This appeal dwindled quickly however, when Akihiko offered brightly, "I can make us an omelette then… I've been practicing and Sato-san helped me learn quite a few tricks!"

Hiroki scowled. "After what happened when you made your last omelette, Akihiko, I have been put off that dish completely. I hope to never eat another one as long as I live."

Akihiko looked crushed that all his hard work then had been for naught, but only momentarily. He lightened almost immediately after popping the top on his tea can.

"I read in the paper about this new family style restaurant, called 'Panda-san.' It is supposed to have completely normal, average style food. Would you like to try that?" Akihiko suggested this cheerfully as he moved back towards the living room.

Hiroki trailed along behind. "That sounds fine.

"You know, if we're not too late, there's going to be a reading tonight at the University by that new poet, the one who wrote '_The Panda's Tears'_."

"Ah, I've been wanting to go hear her… I forgot that was tonight." Akihiko paused at the doorway to the main room. "Uh… Hiroki...?"

"Yes?" Hiroki took a sip of his tea.

"Do you think they'll serve sausages cut to look like Octopi at Panda-san? I saw it on TV the other day." Akihiko tone was cautiously optimistic.

Hiroki put his hands on Akihiko's shoulders pushing the taller man out the door into the other room. "One can only hope."

Akihiko looked back at him, his face was straight, but his eyes were dancing. Hiroki's normally fierce gaze was exceedingly tender. A pleasured blush filled his cheeks.

"Dumb-ass," Hiroki growled affectionately.

* * *

><p><strong>The End: Volume I<strong>

**Whoo hoo! And it ends on a happy note. Check out the next volume for this twisted JR parallel AU. Long Live the Novelists!  
><strong>

**Thank you so much for reading. Whether you have come across this fic sooner or later, please consider dropping me a review and letting me know that you've been reading. It means a great deal to this humble FF writer.**


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